Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

The big issue I'm dealing with

21 August, 2013 - 3:07am - knitfisher

Miscellaneous Stuff

There's this issue I have. It's something I have to do as part of my job, but I find parts of it really hard. Mainly those parts which involve calling people and/or asking them for money. And it means that I have procrastinated over it, and I keep getting asked to sort it out, but no one really seems to pay attention to how bad it is. How old the invoices are and how much we will have to write off because I was too scared to chase it and now it's too late.

I have to give an update on it at a meeting next week and I'm terrified. I honestly do want to sort it out once and for all, but the whole thing has hung over me for so long that I sometimes can't even face the bits I find easier (on the invoices that aren't so old for instance) I've even considered hiring someone to do it for me (impractical), paying the bills with my own money, or even getting the train to work and doing it after a drink (or two) No I'm not joking. I rationally understand that being drunk is not an answer, and i hardly drink otherwise, but it gives you an idea of how much this is affecting me.

I regularly wake early when it comes to the part of the week where I have to go to this client. And this week it's adding to other worries I have about work and study stuff.

I need to find a way through but I am locked in a poisonous haze. Anxiety fills me even thinking about it. It's not the first time this has happened, there have been issues like it in all my previous jobs too (some for the same sort of task) what I need is a plan, and someone to hold my hand while I do it. What I need is courage to bring it out in the open and deal with whatever consequences arise. My DH has actually stood by me while I made a phone call once before, but he can't do that for this. Many phone calls, and much higher conflict risk. I think the management know I have real trouble with it, but they're just hoping I'll magically sort myself out (you know, like a professional, adult would)

Thank you for reading. Needed to get this down on paper (as it were) I will let you know what I come up with.

@knitfisher

jay - 3 Sep 2013 - 6:46pm

people say motivation won't last. neither does bathing, that's why we recommend it daily

zig ziglar

i think anyone would find asking particualary vunerable people for money, especially on an adhock basis, i'm sure that you have resolved with yourself (like we all do) that

you get through this you won't let it happen again.

are you alone responsible for this kind of revenue collection? could you devise a payment system, maybe even actually bring it to the table, highlighting what a hard task this is not just for yourself but for the payees', surely this must be understood by the charity? or do you think this appraoch would put your job in jeprody, you did mention you are good at other aspects of your job, highlight that aswell if need be.

i don't really understand the situation with the client that so badly dented your confidence, is there some talking therapy you could do on that in the not too distant future

so have you made a comprehensive chronological list now? can you priorotise, list working from WHO can pay rather than most owed, maybe some just has to be written off and it sounds like that isn't exclusively your failing rather the lack of a system. sometimes it's not economically viable to chase certain debts anyway and could be bad PR

it's very difficult now that i understand your situation better i feel so bad for you and you are feeling for your clients. bit of a vicious cycle.

really hope the anxiety isn't too bad, you have a lot of support

An update

knitfisher - 3 Sep 2013 - 5:49am

Well I had the meeting, but by the grace of the fates the two people I least wanted to see were not in it. We three ladies had the meeting anyway, and they were much less awful to deal with. However, it was just another opportunity for me to gloss over it a bit, promise a bit and not actually deliver anything.

I have to deal with this. I cannot run from it any longer, and I certainly cannot let it harm my mental health and wellbeing. The stress is just awful. It goes up, it goes down BUT IT IS ALWAYS THERE. This cannot be good for me, and now I am mad at it.

It does not matter how I take action, only that I do. Even if I only get in half of what I what I'm meant to, or a quarter, that's still more than if I simply do nothing. I will get clients who are confused, and angry about it. But they will not be as many as I think. I can write polite, apologetic letters, and still get the money. I can write 3 months after I promised to reply, and still get the money. All things are possible.

I will chronical all my efforts so that I can celebrate and remember my achievements. It may take a bit more time, but it's important. I will try to remember that doing SOMETHING is absolutely better than doing nothing. Even if things have been bad in the past, and I'm not sure I am approaching it the right way, it doesn't matter. It does not have to be perfect, it just has to be done. There will be discomfort along the way, but none of that can hurt you. You have been through so much worse than any of those people can throw at you. You will survive and you will move on.

Now to take action. I will report back later today.

Good luck Knitfisher

Hooch - 4 Sep 2013 - 7:27am

You are so right, doing something / anything that steps you in the right direction is great progress. And we know this logically, yet for all those ilogical, subconscious reasons it is so difficult. I am sending you good wishes for good luck with it!

I was thinking about what you said about the clients, that some of them are confused/angry etc when you call them about the payments. I wonder if they also have issues that your request brings to the fore. After all, in the case of an unpaid bill, both parties probably realize that the transaction is not closed.

Maybe the angry clients are angry for a reason that is nothing to do with you, and nothing much to do with the bill being late. Their anger and upset is to do with the subject matter itself. They are angry that they needed someone to help them with this task, or they have lost track of their finances and did not account for the bill, or that they spent too much money on something, or some other reason entirely. You feel their anger and blame yourself, but it could be that they have their own reasons why it is a difficult subject. Of course the bill being late does not help, but the problems would arise to some extent anyway. In which case this is a difficult task you are dealing with and you should give yourself credit for the progress you are making. As you note, no-one else from your workplace really wants to get involved with it either.

Pls forgive this speculation if not helpful.

@ Hooch

knitfisher - 4 Sep 2013 - 9:13am

Thanks so much for you reply.

I imagine there's quite a lot going on for some people. And any or all of what you said could apply to these clients. I need to get better at pointing them at sources of support for financial issues as well.

I got a bit done yesterday, and wrote a couple of letters about the oldest debts.

@knitfisher

Mole - 3 Sep 2013 - 6:38am

Dear knitfisher. My thoughts are with you. Yes, doing something, anything, is the most important thing - but oh how difficult it is to do it, no matter how much we know it is how to move forward. I do remember once when the boot was on the other foot ie I was on a committee and someone hadn't delivered - and I found out this person had gone into freeze mode, unplugged all phones, closed the curtains - etc - and my only reaction was that my heart bled for her. I guess it's not surprising as a fellow procrastinator that this was my response, but most of the rest of the committee were sympathetic too. Admitting a vulnerability rather than trying to hide it may elicit more understanding. Good luck. We,re all behind you.

Best of luck knitfisher

jalla - 21 Aug 2013 - 10:03am

Hi Knitfisher

I relate and wish you all the very best with the calls. For me I know having a clear picture of exactly whats what (e,g list of who and how much is owed( in the entirity really takes some of the fear out of it., Then doing the calls - remembering that you can do your call, ask for the money to be repaid that that is all you can control. the doing the call action bit. Like someone else shared perhaps have an excuse for the delay in calling, keep it clear, and short the calls and act if you have to to get them done quickly.

i send you a big solidarity hug,

You can do it!

Jallaxoxox

@knitfisher

jay - 21 Aug 2013 - 5:00am

people say motivation won't last. neither does bathing, that's why we recommend it daily

zig ziglar

hi,

just guessing but maybe it truly is the procrastination on it that's made it so hard? you said the more recent bills you would fibd easier to cope with

analyise this: what is the reason you will find calling business' and asking them to pay for services. is it that you feel you will get busted for your procrastination or seen as incompetent for not doing it sooner? that you'll 'have to own up' 'that til now they probably thought their bill was lost/computer error'

i think it's about different personalities, maybe your job dosn't suit you? people who find this easy to do don't carry any emotions to work and do it robotically. i understand this could be very different for a small company.

to your immediate problem. why is out sourcing the calls impractical, if it's data protection, then you obs can't. if there's no other way round it then i would construct 'a reason' (that will cover the truth) that you are calling late, get to a mindset of automatic and use the same drill on all of them, one after another. cut emotion out.

is there somone/ a friend you can confide in? you could quickly practise what you will say or look on you tube

the meeting, if you get the payments in you might get away with it

i totally understand how this chronic procrastination causes so much stress and having to adopt elorbate plans when hitting deadlines

good luck!

@knitfisher

jay - 21 Aug 2013 - 5:00am

people say motivation won't last. neither does bathing, that's why we recommend it daily

zig ziglar

hi,

just guessing but maybe it truly is the procrastination on it that's made it so hard? you said the more recent bills you would fibd easier to cope with

is there somone/ a friend you can confide in? you could quickly practise what you will say or look on you tube

the meeting, if you get the payments in you might get away with it

i totally understand how this chronic procrastination causes so much stress and having to adopt elorbate plans when hitting deadlines

good luck!

@jay

knitfisher - 21 Aug 2013 - 7:21am

Your answer was very helpful, thank you. I will consider what you've suggested. My DH actually came up with one thing the same as you, which is 'make up a reason' that's difficult because a) I work in an office with other people, and b) I don't like lying. However, I it gets this done, then the ends may well justify the means.

See also my reply the Hypatia about who I'm collecting from. This makes it doubly hard. I suspect I couldn't outsource unless they were checked.

Also, you may be right that I am not suited to this task. But I am very good at the rest of my job, and this sometimes comes with it. It's the only client I have to perform this function at. I know how to do it, but my past failure to keep it done spoils my view of this client and the work I do for them. And my confidence.

@Knitfisher

Hypatia - 21 Aug 2013 - 4:00am

My heart goes out to you. If you replace your dealing with invoices with writing reports on clients, I could have writtne your post. And my manager has responded the same way. Though I think he's trying to give me the chance to sort it out myself, rather than going down the disciplinary route. Would it help for you and me to be accountability partners? I certainly could do with the support, and would be happy to offer it to you. We're both in the UK so we're at least on the same timeline.

Practically speaking have you any idea how many calls you've got to make. I've just gone through all my outstanding reports, and although the number is really bad, at least I know how bad it is and can start to make plans!

You can contact me via the personal contact form if you wish. If you don't want to I won't be offended!

@hypatia

knitfisher - 21 Aug 2013 - 7:10am

Thanks so much for the offer. I will have a little think about it if you don't mind. I have thought that having an accountability partner would help me, and our situations are well-suited, but I am so afraid of letting us both down.

Its not so much the number of calls, or the workload of this task in particular. It's more the gravity of the calls/ letters etc. I work for a charity with a company that charges for some services. These are often forgetful, vunerable people. I hate asking them for money let alone asking for money that was incurred 12 months ago.

I need to get a plan in place. I cannot go on having this blight my life.

Ruth

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