Sunday 2nd June 2013

Abstinence from unplanned time.

• The one thing, the only thing, i can do impulsively is write something on my todo list.
• The one thing, the only thing, i can do off plan is recovery, something to maintain my sobriety, when tempted. I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety than to get things done.

Abstinence from relying on self. AA Big Book says to rely on God. Quoted in my bookmarks : scroll down to "AA Big Book on fears : relying on God not self-reliance:"

:) ci
:) start Instant Boss
:) v task
:) cl
:) time log
:) quiet time
:) r task
:) s task
:) t task
:) 10am church
:) sort tasks
:) *capture all * tasks here
j task
prj task
brk: p job, call mon
*brk: *unemp pend
:) *brk: *dom f
brk: trm r
brk: log c.s.l & j
brk: sw
brk: *kal fafsa mon
brk: crit art
blog legalnotice
client o
pud disk install - bill4 - 15 min

*lc sign form
*pud raid - 4 hrs
pud av i - 5 hours
:) *g wrk - 4hrs, now bill

*tx - 4hrs
*nativ - 20 min
pu wrk - iDev - 2hrs
bill client ku - 30min
kuf wrk - recontact - 15 min
later: ht task
:) put away clothes
:) reflection
:) pre-plan tmrw

3:33pm
It's been 00days 00hrs 03min since i last got distracted (10min 15:20-15:30 6/2 ytq)
It's been 00days 13hrs 15min since i last went on an off-plan bender >15min (39min 01:39-02:18am 6/2 ytq)
It's been 00days 21hrs 33min since i last went on an off-plan bender >1hr (1hr 4min 4:56-6:00pm 6/1 worship vids on youtube, eg blessed redeemer; abs his: 13,1,1,5,6,6 old-new)
It's been 09days 12hrs 52min since i last went on an off-plan bender >2hrs (2hrs 43min, 11:58pm-02:41am 5/22-23 qtweb; abs his: 5,14,8,6)
It's been 23days 12hrs 49min since i last went on an off-plan bender >3hrs (3hrs 14min, 11:30pm-02:44am 5/8-9 raid work binge, abs his: 25,14; corrected 5/24).
It's been 68 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >4hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been >68 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >6hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been 204 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1day
It's been ~304 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1week
It's been 43days 16hrs 40min since i last relied on self. (abs his: 14)

THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER

i SO SO SO SO much want to not go to bed, but do another task. Lord pls if it be your will make this feeling go away. Or help me manage it.
Not felt so empty before the step work mtg (empty cuz i was not going to get anything else done).
Not gone off plan for 18 min, chasing a promising, fun idea, after mtg.

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (everything i "did well" comes from god, either thru gifts he's given me or the way he's transformed me)

Fixed the hose with right-angle (fun!)
Fixed the hole in the hose elsewhere.
Handled the Dom thing
Bot aquabot parts, in partnership with wife on ebay.
Got all my errands done, including having to go out for one more thing.
Helped prep dinner.
Let my right brain solve a problem for me. problem was stressing me out.
When i got even more stressed, did sobriety first to get thru it. Did it as god's will only, not my reward.