my failures have found me out
I've known for some time that I have been failing to keep up with my workload, mostly in the area of writing client reports.
One area of the departments work has been closely monitored for the last few months due to a failed government inspection last year (not just my fault). The monitoring has of course revealed my failures, and it puts the bosses in a difficult position because they are due to report to the government inspectors again shortly. And now I've been called in by my managers to get myself sorted out. They were supportive but firm which is all I can ask. I haven't got the courage yet to confess how much of a problem the rest of my work is. We do have a workable initial action plan.
What really frustrates me is that I was in this mess last year, but had a very good reason (severe depression following the death of my husband). With help I got it all sorted out, and now I'm in exactly the same mess. I'm just freaking out here.
I'm frightened even to post a plan on here, because the last one I posted I completely failed to follow. At the moment I think I'm just looking for moral support while i try to pick my life up yet again
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You have my support.
In my experience, I found, even if you were perfect, things would be dug up.
one step at a time, keep showing up. (hug)
You have my sympathy Hypatia. I had similar unpleasant meetings with bosses and supervisors and can well understand how you feel. (And then, in my case, I hear 'this is not good enough' and am even less motivated / or too paralysed to actually do what the people want me to do, which is just to keep plodding on and show a bit of effort.)
I wish you all the best in getting caught up again. And all the best in being kind and understanding with yourself. You have certainly had a very tough couple of years.
Sending you good thoughts,
PS Just brainstorming here, so pls disregard if it does not help:
- would it be possible to go part-time? (I tried this with one of my contracts and while in my case it was not a complete solution, it did mean I had more time to do things. So I worked as much as I could, but my work load was less. Pay was also less of course, but that was ok.)
- is there any kind of training course you could go on which would help make report writing more automatic?
- what kind of support for writing these reports would you have in an ideal situation?
I'm pleased to report I have caught up with the reports I was in trouble for. And I've even got the next two done on time!
No-one will let me go part-time - I've asked!
I'm well trained in writing the reports - these are complex medical reports which I have been doing for more that 25 years. I need to look at whether I can condense them a bit, but to be honest, my reports are very similar in length and detail to those of my colleagues doing similar jobs.
The support I need is
Thank you so much for your moral support
Wow! Way to go!
As someone else said, I'm also inspired by how you've managed to tackle these reports! Yay you for a job well done.
Thank you for sharing the success :)
That's SUCH good news. Good for you!
(BTW, i think 1 year is a short time for something like that. If i were you, i would give myself 5 years.)
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
Well done Hypatia!
Well done on getting all those reports done and caught up.Fantastic news and I am delighted for you. Well done!!!!
Great work Hypatia. So glad to hear this news. Gives me hope.....
(Interesting point about managers. I hope you get a chance to point management failings during reviews. It is not fair if the blame for inefficiency all goes to the people at the end of the line.)
You have my moral support. I and i suspect many of us understand, accept, and support. Thanks for being here, this too shall pass. (hug) vic
Oh, this sounds so very familiar. Hypatia, I hope that you can find compassion and kindness for yourself in getting through this difficult time. I too am struggling to address a huge backlog of documentation that just seems to grow and grow. Know that you are not alone here.
You can do it!
It takes a lot of courage to face our shortcomings opening. You are doing it. And, it is a good step. Just keep going step by step and we will be supporting you all the way.
good luck hypatia
this sounds like a very difficult and scary situation to be in. I have much empathy for you and also the knowledge that you can turn this around.
Hugs to you Hypatia
Hi Hypatia. Just wanted to write a quick note to say hang in there and keep your chin up!. You have had so much to deal with these past two years- so remember thatas well- all the dealing and managing you have done in this time-frame as well as the challenges!I have no doubt you will 'get there ' with the report goal for the week. A little bit at a time! - baby steps. i will be thinking of you and am sending hugs your way.
Good luck Hypatia!
It all sounds so familiar... I wish you lots of success in sorting it out.
Maybe there are ways to make report writing more... hmm... automatic?
Is the time frame they give you even realistic?
Do your co-workers write reports faster, and if so, how do they do it? Or do they get complaints about shoddy reports as a result?
Just ideas... of course, I don't actually have a clue. (I've asked myself the same questions about the tasks I dread or accomplish too slowly, and it hasn't helped yet.)
Keeping fingers crossed for you! X
(hugs to Hypatia)
Thinking of you in your difficult situation. Solidarity, one report at a time!
I admire you in holding a demanding job down through thick and thin.
Also sending you whatever you need to complete this task. Courage, peace, strength, anger even.
Can't say I've been there, as I am not in your shoes, but i've been somewhere that sounds very like it. The dreadful fear of being found out. Hoping that certain things won't be mentioned, relief when you get away with it a bit longer.
We will be here, for when you are ready to tackle it. Faceless as we are to you, our voices can be there in your head, beside you even, as you take actions no matter how small in turning this thing around. We understand a shade of what you are feeling.
Best wishes. See you here soon.
thank you for the support
Thank you all for your understanding support. This afternoon my direct line manager also got a written complaint about my slowness in providing reports.
I have at least managed to write one report so far today, and sign off several others
You know whay they say
Ok well maybe they dont say that, but if they were dealing compulsive procrastination, they would. ;-)
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
I so understand your situation, Hypatia. I'm finding myself in a somewhat similar position. I'd been overwhelmed with work and really fell behind, so that it became an issue. Then I got caught up and actually cut out a whole portion of what I was doing so that I could stay on top of it, but I'm finding that I'm behind again with things piling up and my anxiety rising. Wishing you whatever you need (focus, courage, determination, peace, kindness to yourself?) to meet your goals.
a realistic goal.
I am required to complete 15 reports by the end of next week. They usually take about an hour each. I'm going to take it a day at a time.
23/5 3 hrs - plan
AH form 1 report check typing 1 report