When other people's success makes you feel like sh*t
(I think this is related to Harry's post on 'Being low-functioning')
Whenever I hear about the successes of people that I or my Family know, I really feel like sh*t.
This kind of emotion started when I relocated to a new country and battled to find a job for years. When I did get one, it was so far beneath what I should be able to get but I was so knocked down, I thought anything would be better than nothing. And so I tried my very best to never compare myself to other people to avoid feeling this level of despair. But of course, this feeling does show up at times when you are not at your strongest and that is what happened to me today. Sometimes I swear I've been knocked down too many times to get up. I've become bitter through a combination of factors that began with the upheaval and tumultuousness of relocating.
On days like these, I feel like SUCH a disappointment to my Family and to my Partner. I'm unemployed and have felt lost for so long. I just pray that I can overcome this and enlist the aid of my Higher Self to pull me out of this abyss.