Back on the Trail in March -aotp
Some big things happening in March.
February seemed like a lot of survival, and a lot of Pinterest. (Stay away if you can!)
So into March, a priority I definitely would like to focus on:
This may include tasks such as scheduling, using a calendar, making task lists and actually USING them. Committing to any part of this kind of ongoing structure feels like something secretive and dirty that I need to keep from my brain. As soon as I start to think it, my brain starts saying "what?? you don't need a calendar to be the boss of you! you can remember things that are important! eff that!" But then I crave the freedom and consistency of a more organized and structured lifestyle.
I'm experiencing oppositional defiant disorder of the self. Some serious subconscious conflicts here...good thing I go to counseling so maybe I can try figure this one out.
I'm back to posting here to keep a record in one place (that I won't lose!), to continue to participate in an awesome community and to encourage myself to reflect on these things in curious, mindful and compassionate way.
-things I am doing with some regularity:
practicing meditation, getting up with my alarm and getting to work on time (mostly) Yay!, cultivating awareness of my perfectionistic thoughts and behaviours (very interesting...)
- Login to post comments
I am the queen of Demand Resistance and the worst resistance I face is on self imposed deadlines and task. But I over come the demand resistance by being creative with how I interact with my plans. Here is a free online resources that I use. http://padlet.com/
It allows you to build a wall and then you can add notes to the wall. I use it to add task that need to be done. Say I have 15 task. I will add them to the wall and then as I accomplish them I delete them off the wall. It is also usefully if a task has mutiple steps, each time I complete a step I will post it on the stickie. I find it more encouraging to see what I have done. If you have a task that has 10 steps and I put all 10 task on the note once I remove say 5 of the steps it still looks like you have a lot left to do, so I only add accomplished task then once task is completed I delete the stickie. I am also the type that if I write it down to be done and then if I do not accomplish it with in the time frame that I felt was appropriate then I become discouraged.
re: Demand Resistance
Padlet sounds very cool; I will have to try it out. Right now I have blocked myself from the internet with an app called self-control. Everything except for PA is blocked, actually for the next day in order to complete a project. But after that I will check it out. It sounds like a nice visual strategy.
And discouragement- yes, that comes all too easily, doesn't it? I'm trying to be compassionate and kind to myself, especially when that negative voice comes out. (There is a good Ted Talk by Kristin Neff I watched today- prior to the internet blockage- on why it makes sense to be nice to yourself.) That helps me to reason with my unreasonable brain!