Saturday 19th January 2013

10:23am : from 15 points for an alcoholic to consider when confronted with the urge to take a drink at url http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/images/dynamicImages/documents/documents_4_834303.pdf

4. Remember that the times when you don't want a drink are the times in which to build up the strength to not take one when you want it.

5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live that day without taking a drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.

10:52am : the problem with those 2 lines is that when you're not in the throes of temptation, you have to believe, on faith, that someday you will be. You have to spend your time, attention, effort, and energy anticipating something that feels like it will not happen. In fact, you might go 5 years without giving in, and you still would have to keep expending time and effort to not give in--even tho it hasnt happened in 5 years. That takes A LOT of faith. Not sure i have that. But, God you can provide it for me.

:) ci
:) vtask
:) quiet time - k
:) quiet time - txgvg
:) quiet time - 15 points
:) rt task
:) pj task
usb drives
fdbk box
make cds
acq
:) eee - but out of order :-(
:) adminx3
:) 3:30pm taping
:) put away xmas
calculus - defer to tomorrow or mon

2:22pm : This line is now impacting me:

6. Don't for a split second allow yourself to think: "Isn't it a pity or a mean injustice that I can't take a drink like so-called normal people".

my version:

"isn't it a pity that i have periods where i simply lose all motivation to move forward, even to use the tools?"

2:37pm : Another heaver hitter for me :

13. Cultivate gratitude:

c. Gratitude that AA exists, and you found out about it in time.
d. Gratitude that you are an alcoholic - you are not a bad or wicked person but you have been in the grip of a compulsion
e. Gratitude that since others have done it, you can in time bring it to pass that you will not want or miss the drink you are doing without.

Letter d. especially helps me right now.

3:23pm : it has been about 20min since i last went off plan. God has restored me today. Started with pre-existing reminders to do phone ck-ins. Thank God someone was there. Then the ability to re-read the "15 points" above. Then letter d. above. Then the ability to do my quiet time, which contained Thanksgiving, and i was able to say this:

Thank you that i only wasted 2.5hrs, instead of the whole day

That's totally legit cuz that's exactly what i was headed for. This being back on plan is not me. I attribute it to God's work in my life, both previously and today. God i love you!

7:54pm : it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. But only for abt 10 min. I've been on plan other than that since 2:53, so 4:51 min. New Beginning right now. But i have to face cleaning up a bunch of stuff. So i will face in 10 min increments, and use the chat.

11:23pm : been cleaning and watching TV as breaks. Large breaks. Not disciplined enuf, but i did get it all done. Just took longer. Or maybe not. I dont know cuz i didnt plan ahead of time. Still, progress not perfection here. I am grateful to god for what he enabled me to do. God has been with me today in a big way.

Show up (done), plan, exer

Thanks Jalia for starter, I love M. T.! My "self dare today" is to try to practise  MT principles throughout the day.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
and Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Mark Twain

Thanks for the thread started, jalla.
I've been vegetating in bed for longer than is healthy - and it's never healthy. Trying to pick up the pieces and get back into the flow of living again.
x 9am las appt
x ask shops for cardboard boxes
- bh:ap
x 12pm client meeting
x pass by office:
* pick up testimonials
* send meeting brief
x atm
- buy meds:
* stomach
x horms
- pay mom back
- balance budget
- get sample to lab
- finish and send presentation

IF I'm done with all of the above:
- check S CDs
- create new verse for raindrops and send
Things for tomorrow:
- pick up boxes from shops
- pick up M for play date (check with sis and B)
- give B time for electrician
- buy light fixtures
- pack clothes
- buy paint
- pick and schedule heater (check gmail flyer)
- buy cleaning supplies
- make furniture list
- wash carpet
- wash laundry
- drop M off
- cancel on all previous commitments (writing grou + proposal)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action - Walter Anderson