Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Creative Project/s
Thanks to Hooch for suggesting I post this here.
I feel some hesitation in writing this, worried about feeling 'exposed' or being self indulgent, or constantly failing.
But I've read what others have written and those uncomfortable feelings don't matter - what matters is I progress in one way or another and don't give up!
I have one big creative project to do right now, and the fact that I should have finished it ages ago brings me here :-)
It's 5 x animations and at times it's been very rewarding but mostly I've avoided it, and allowed the difficulties (it's all new to me so I have lots to learn!) to stop me in my tracks.
I've done an excellent job of avoiding it for the past month or so... but even that takes time and energy and ultimately it's not working for me!
I've already been paid for the animations so I either need to *finish* them or give up and pay all the money back!!
I *think* I can do it and I *think* I will feel fantastic if I do.. but I need some help to progress so here we go!
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Creative Project Day 4 and 5
I'm saying day 4/5 but that isn't accurate at all.. but I have to post a subject so that will do for now...
Okay did an excellent job of avoiding what i was supposed to do on many, many of the preceding days.. But I won't dwell on that too much as I've moved on and this is where I'm at...
Had a meeting about the animations.. I decided to come clean-ish about where I was at - i.e. not where I hoped I'd be - the 'client' was very understanding which was a big relief and in turn made me feel a lot more positive about the whole thing.. which sure is better than feeling absolutely terrible about it!
(I have to say at this point that though I'm being paid a bit for this project the majority of it is on a voluntary basis, and so I think that's why I'm being given more leniency.. which is good but too much leniency can lead to this dragging on forever.. which I don't want!)
So I was feeling more positive.. and then I was asked to drop everything and start on a new animation, as they so much liked what I was doing with the others! So now I'm working on a new one which takes priority and is does need to be completed in the next few weeks.
I've had 3 x meetings about it and have had a big confidence boost as they love my ideas for the new one and are very much cheering me on. Behind the scenes (at home) it's not been tooo bad as I do find it much easier to come up with initial ideas for things (it's the following it through to the end result that's difficult - of course! And not least coz I'm learning After Effects as I go! But it CAN be done!)
But having said that 'it's not been too bad' I have still put things off to that last minute, have had several days to work on it and then rushed it as the sun sets on the last day before the deadline.. and even the morning of the deadline.. set the alarm early after a terrible night's sleep.. and quickly scribbled ideas down. I have panicked, freaked out, worried about it.. and at each of these 3 x meetings I've been absolutely exhausted because I've stayed up late the night before, not slept well through worry etc… Oh the Procrastinator's Life!
So I'm checking in today as I am feeling very positive about things.. I have two days off my 'day job' to concentrate on this project.. so here I am! My usual routine is to get up early drink lots of coffee and think 'yeah, got loads of time!' and then I undoubtably find lots of things to distract myself and get nothing done (no surprises there!)
What I need to do in the next couple of days isn't too scary… I have to develop my drawings and ideas further.. do some after effects tutorials - as I've left it so many weeks my knowledge of the programme is fading! I'll check out some other animations online to get some inspiration.. I think that's mainly it. So the aim is to spend some hours on this.. in fact I'll move over to the daily check in page and jot down my list..
It's helpful to write this stuff here - as in returning to this page I've re-read what I previously wrote and I'm very good at totally forgetting where I was at, and what I was thinking then.. so it's good to see it here in writing.. and even if end up writing the same thing over and over and encountering the same hurdles as we all do… well here's hoping I'll make some progress and… OK my main aim - as I have four of the next five days clear - is to NOT leave everything to the last day before my next animation meeting (i.e Sunday) Now that is almost UNHEARD of. But I'm going to really try to get enough done before Sunday that on Sunday I, in fact, don't HAVE to do anything on the project… but if I want to I can! OK people that's my goal!! It's quite a big one for me.. but I'm going to try!
Thanks PA for this forum, and this opportunity to get things down in black and white right here :-)
(I think that's actually why I haven't been here for a while - I was not feeling positive and felt failure was imminent, so couldn't bear to commit to anything… but I'm not feeling that way today!! Onwards…..)
P.S. I bought this great book on Procrastination recently (by Jane Burka and Lenora Yuen) which (of course) I haven't finished. At some point I may post about it in the 'books' section or maybe write about it here if I do work through it… it gave an absolutely brilliant description of the stages of procrastination - and the first stage is feeling great at the onset of a project, feeling like there is oodles of time.. it then goes onto the next stages… which erm… ok I'm not going to go into it right now (*procrastination alert*) coz that'll take me a while… but it's good and makes me mindful of my emotional response to these things.. anyway more of that (probably/possibly!) later.. If you got this far..thanks for reading!
How is it going Dotty?
I hope you are doing fine.
H
thanks for asking Hooch!
I'm very happy to say that right now I'm doing great!
Even though I did leave things to the very last minute quelle surprise! - and only spent a fraction of the time I had available on it! - I did come with the/some goods and my latest meeting went really well! Hurrah!
So my confidence is growing... and I defintely have challenges ahead but it's feeling good right now!
I was going to write a long rambly post.. but I'm going to set it aside and come back later.. My next opportunity to work on this is Fri-Sun so I need a plan for that.. but for now I'm going to pat myself on the back and do something else!
Thanks!
Dotty
Excellent news Dotty
I am very pleased to hear that you are doing well, and that the meeting went well. That is excellent news. You definitely deserve a pat on the back for spending the time on it that you did.
H
thanks aotp
for your kind words, it sure helps!
Creative project Day 2 and 3
Sooo Day 2 came and went with NO focus on my project. No surprises there :-)
I think subconsiously I thought if I didn't write anything here then I wouldn't have to do it. Obviously not true, the project still needs to be done!
So we're on 'Day 3' (also have my office job so these days will be spread out - and I strangely manage to be very productive in my office job.. nothing that scares me there I guess even though it's boring and unfulfilling!!)
OK so Day 3
I really need to contact the person I'm doing the project for as I have a meeting tomorrow and they'll be a bit surprised I've done nothing :-) so I need to think of what to say... in order for me to continue on the project rather than them say 'that's it forget it'... so thats what I need to do when I stop writing here.
Also contact my friend who said he can help.. but I've been reluctant to seek that help.
And prepare for tomorrows meeting - which as I simply don't have enough time to do anything significant... erm I just need to review where I'm at, maybe do some drawing, come up with some ideas etc - now why is that so hard!!? Sounds ok really :-) but that was the plan for Day 1 and well needless to say I didn't get it done! Today is a new day though.. Hoping when I next post there'll be something positive to write - that's my goal!
We'll see!
(This does feel a bit navel-gazey and probably not scintillating reading for anyone... but well this forum's here and I'm going to use it! :-)
Hope others are making progress on their 'special projects' I've left some comments here and there in the forums and some of you have really made me think about things - it's been really good as a newbie. I'll also try and check in on other 'special project' people too... but to do so right now would definitely be verging on procrastination.
Dotty
@ Dotty
I hope you can convince the people to keep you on the project. It sounds great having something so creative on the go, but I can imagine that it must be pretty anguishing having to come up with something which is kind of personal and then be judged on that. Maybe it is time to call in the help of your friend who offered?
Sending you support.
All the best,
Hooch
by the way Hooch
...you totally hit the nail on the head with the anguish about producing something personal - I do think that that is possibly at the absolute crux of this particular issue.. totally! I do get terrified that people won't like what I've done, and I do (unfortunately for me) have some deep seated feeling that my success creatively reflects my validity as a person.. or something like that!
Art is always something I've done and when I was younger I'd have so much praise heaped on me - and in fact to my friends and family I was 'the artist' of the group that was 'who' I was.. and as time went on and I've studied various threads of art - and not always succeeded with this.. it's been crushing.. but yeah.. maybe some deeper psychological analysis would be of benefit at some point! :-) as somewhere along the way I missed the memo that: A. It wasn't always going to be easy and B. If I failed I shouldn't give up and shouldn't feel it reflects on me as a person - Which is totally what I have done in the past (and present!!?)
Thanks for making me think (again!)
p.s. My friend is on stand-by - lucky me! And lucky me he's a technical whiz so I just need to finalise my ideas and then call him in to help with the tecchy stuff.. so at time of writing it's all feeling good :-)
@ Dotty
I do know where you are coming from with this. Memo A and B seem to have passed me by as well! :-)
On the other hand it _is_ difficult if one is labelled 'Artist' or 'Gifted', or anything really, where the judgement on what is produced feels like a judgement of our whole character; instead of someone with intrinsic worth who happens to be good at art or something. What can we do, I dunno. Struggle on I guess,
That is great that you are getting something to your clients, even if slightly at the last minute. Keep on at it!
All the best,
H
thanks hooch
you're so super supportive... its really great! I read comments that yourself aotp and various other people (too many to mention...) write to me and on other people's threads.. and I'm so impressed with the effort you guys put into helping others... coz that's what you're doing! Thank you
Hi Dotty
I understand feeling a bit navel-gazey
; I felt exactly the same way when I started posting about my stuff more. But then when people like yourself and others on the forum posted their thoughts, it was so nice to have the support 
Sending you support for your day today!
aotp
Day 1 creative project
Okay it's actually about day 68 or something ridiculous but I'm going to start from here :-)
Hmm I'm not quite sure what to write yet as I haven't clarified my thoughts on this.
How about where I think I'm at! Sounds good...
OK I have today Friday and Sunday to make progress on one 1 x minute animation. ideally get it to a 'near finished' stage. I'm not sure that's possible but I have surprised myself (occasionally!) in the past.
Now I just need to think clearly about what I think I need to do next... (funny how you spend weeks almost deliberately muddying your thoughts about a big project, making it seem insurmountable and so then totally avoiding that terrifying thing lol!!! Oh the procrastinators life!)
To do! (note: to hopefully actually do :-)
Review where I'm at, watch what I've done and think about what elements I can take forward (perhaps with minimum technical issues as I'm using After Effects which is still quite new to me and can get complicated if you let it!)
Try not to think too much about next week when I am expected to show what I've done as I will undoubtedly start to panic!
I think that's it really in a nutshell (not riveting reading for anyone out there! :-)
Here I (hopefully) go!