Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Allovertheplace's January Project
December 2012
I tend to get very excited about a variety of projects, research them to infinity (it has to be just right....perfectionism rears it's ugly head) then forget about them almost as quickly. Someone wise has pointed out that part of this is a form of emotional regulation. It goes something like this:
I experience frustration with something in my life (feelings of failure and overwhelm)...I get excited about it and feel some relief. As my negative emotions dissipate, I no longer "need" the project.
However, in the long term, I become more and more disappointed with myself as I perceive I do not carry through with the projects I start. These projects are often typical life stuff i.e. cleaning out clutter, starting a regular exericise program. The other issue that is clearly here is just being able to deal with negative emotions as they arise in a constructive way.
I don't know how to battle this beast, except one little bit at a time. I thought a good place to start might be to pick one thing and mindfully work away at it for a short period of time, using this log to document my experience. To provide a structure, I thought I would start with this free e-course on creating a habit: http://www.raisinghappiness.com/class/free-online-class/ and if anyone else wants to give it a go, it's free!
So I'm going to start here. 
- Login to post comments
hi AOTP
hello aotp
yes, i think having a cut off time is a good idea
also predeciding on evening meal is very important, you could buy, prepare, chill or feeze for evenings when you get in late shattered. also you could think about one pot meals, or slowcooker meals that would be ready when you got in with no washing up to do
perfectism. what can i say, i'm a victim too, it makes life so rigid dosn't it..but can't it work in your favour, use it to your benefit
have a good day
jay
Day 15: check in with my buddies :)
That's you guys AOTP and Jay,
but to be honest I'm feeling tired and grumpy and need to get ready for bed!! Which has been one of the things that I wanted to get into better habits with as well, both going at a decent hour and getting up early enough to walk the dogs before I go to uni or whatever. And to get to uni on time!!! I think I tried to get up too early though because I was just really tired by the afternoon, so I'm setting the alarm for a more realistic 7am now.
One thing I didn't create a goal for, even though it's hugely important, is making time to study regularly and consistently. I KNOW I ought to do some sort of daily reading and research, I have fallen far behind and most of the books on the "required reading" list remain unread; and I'm just cheating myself of an education that I'm paying for!!! So. a new 'tiny habit' is needed. Any ideas?
But there are definite improvements, my attitude has improved anyway. I'm hoping that this will last, that I will persevere and keep taking the action, and try to be more consistent.
Really tired, bed time,
night all
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It's an inside job...
hi hazyjane
hello
i think you've made the right decision on the alarm clock for 7, more time is good but not if it;s unproductive time. less time with a clearer more lucid mind will be more beneficial. if the extra hour in the morning was at the cost of a productive afternoon, it wasn;t worth it.
reading. is there any way you could incorporate this in to your commute or while waiting on a class. put 1 book from your reading list in your bag, just read 1 page, be very strict about it, you're not allowed to read more than 1 page.
have a good day
jay
I'm tired and grumpy, too! Just tiny steps...
I'm having trouble loading today's talk but hopefully I can figure that out.
Today I realized that I am consistently forgetting the fun and reward part of the small habits!! Reflecting on it makes me realize how nice the little positive acknowledgement is.
I've also started phrasing some of my daily task list in tiny steps as it seems to lower the demand resistance.
I read that Wednesday is the most difficult day for working on habits etc. And I keep reminding myself to stick to the small stuff. So my sitting up in bed when the alarm goes off (reward: little applause for myself) the next one is putting the phone into airplane mode when I switch the lights off (reward: Yay me smile). And remembering to measure not judge myself. It's sneaky, that judgement!
Re: HazyJane- a few things come to mind when you talk about daily study.
Q: Did you want to create a habit where you sit to do reading? Do you have an anchor already in mind? e.g. After I (anchor behaviour)....I will (?open my english text) (?read one sentence from....).
One thing I have noticed is that if I am feeling overwhelmed with imagining my tiny step then it probably is too big.
And then your reward- Yay you? Little victory jump?
This made me go back and think about the rewards for my little habits. Thank you 
aotp
Day 13- get more sleep
It's been a whirlwind of a weekend.
On the whole, I do find that working slowly on small habits especially around getting up in the morning has been really useful. It's actually inspired more structure around the rest of my day, especially the morning and evening routines. Though I haven't woken up on the first go with my alarm, I've generally gone to bed earlier and risen earlier.
Today's lesson on sleep was very timely.
There was nothing new about it for me, really (like you said as well @Jay). But it is good to review that having enough sleep helps with emotional control, will power/self control and focus. Three things that are huge issues for me!!
@Jay- no, I haven't stopped bringing the phone to bed, since I use that sleep app. But I have stopped surfing the past two nights. What I will try tonight is turning it onto airplane mode before getting into bed. Otherwise I will have to look at other options.
Believe it or not, I've also changed my tiny habit to sitting up in bed when my alarm goes off. Since actually getting out of bed was not statistically working out much of the time, I think I need to make it smaller. I also am going to look at the actual hours of sleep I am getting (i.e. actually going to sleep and not surfing!)
So- in a nutshell:
1. When my alarm goes off in the morning, I will sit up in bed.
2. When I turn off the light switch, I will put my phone on airplane mode.
aotp
improvements!
hi AOTH
from small seeds...i recall you being encouraging when i embarresingly stated my goal was to create and maintain a hygiene routine- i have missed 2 nights since the beginning BUT my sleep has improved massively and lots of other things- you said it would be a spring board- it has been, i now tidy as i go along so mostly i don't have messy surroundings- that's so nice, my whole goal as i wanted to expand it was about 'self care' and looking after myself.
i have the knowledge i needed the motivation. love christines post today
' people say motivation dosn't last. well neither does bathing, that's why we recommed it daily'
Zig Ziglar
my sleep has improved because i've drastically cut down on interactive stuff on line in the evenings, i'm not wondering if any one has replied to me on facebook ect. i don't use twitter, never will. i don't install any apps on my phone, although it is a smart phone and i realise some things are very handy, i won't do it. i know that the information overload would do my head in.
i made a concoius decision that i'm going to focus on what I NEED TO DO, so i'm cuttting out the news ect, that might sound selfish but it;s what i have to do at the moment
opps i went off tangent..maybe relevent though, just saying i've cut out 'traffic'
the sleep app sounds informative but wouldn't how well rested you feel in the morning serve as a better gauge? i wonder if surfing in bed is an indication that you don't actually want to go to sleep but rather have just moved yourself physically to the bed? i can't go to sleep to silence, my mind races constantly so i use white noise in the form of a tv programme that i love which dosn't cause ant excitment. if it's not on at the time i (very saddo) put it on one of the shopping channels because the sound levels don't deviate. it's a background thing. on my pre decision list i have to find something to listen to and load it on to my ipod ( not done yet- procratingating)
i'm kinda worried that i've become so rigid in my routine that i'll miss out on fun, there's a night out coming up and i'm feeling apprehensive about it, i don't want to wreck my sleep cycle! i've always been a person of extremes- i can't find the middle ground. maybe i'm going to set a timelimit on the routine, oh that dosn't make sense?? going now rambeling...
have a great day, hope you managed to sit up in bed and did you move the alarm clock
jay
Thanks, Jay. I need the
Thanks, Jay. I need the encouragement today! I did do the tiny step of sitting up in bed and then I did get up. I realized just now that I was so focused on the step itself that I missed the reward- even a Yay me!
And I added a new tiny step to address the internet surfing in bed- it's to put my phone on airplane mode (Christine mentioned this in one post) before I go to bed. And I fall asleep listening to my ipod, which is a reward for me (sometimes I just need to let myself listen to something more fun as opposed to self improvement/educational and that seems to lower the demand resistance).
I love the Zig Ziglar quote- that's so funny!
I'm at work so I have to run- but just wanted to comment on your note about focusing on what you have to do and that it might seem selfish. I think my perspective about this has really shifted these past couple of weeks to allowing myself to do this because it's about taking good care of myself. And it feels really good to give myself permission to do it, and believe it.
Re: your night out- finding the middle ground. I wonder if there is a tiny step in that one that might help?
Have a great day! Thanks again
oh no! day 12
just popped on for 1 min
just realised i missed day 12 brain drain. can i have a synopsis pls
laters
jay
I have the info- I'll share it with you
Thanks for posting- I actually got confused about my days!
Re: the info- I'll post a synopsis and I can send you the pdf if you want it. Can we contact through the tab at the top of the page?
aotp
for ATOP re: contacting
The "contact" button at upper right corner of page is for contacting the website owner Pro.
To contact another member here, be logged in, and then go to that member's profile.
To find a member's profile,
the easiest way is to be logged in yourself, and then find a post by the person you wish to contact, and then click on their name at the bottom of any of their posts -- and this will send you to their profile.
... OR ...
An alternate way to find a member profile is to browse through the "Who's registered" member list on right side of any PA webpage, but keep in mind that the member-list is sorted by log-on date -- with "whoever logged in most recently" as the first person listed ... so you won't be able to sort alphabetically to find someone ... and it might take quite a while to find the person you want.
... OR ...
if you see the person's name hypertexted anywhere on the forums, such as the list of "Who's online -- Online Users", etc., you can click on their name to get to their profile.
Once you've located a person's profile, you'll see several tabs. If they give permission to be contacted, you'll see a contact form. However if they've disabled that feature, you won't be able to contact them.
Filling out the contact form and sending your message -- will reveal your personal email address to the recipient. Specifically, it will be whatever email address you have in your OWN profile.
For attachments: You cannot send attachments via the contact form, but once you both have privately exchanged email addresses, you can then arrange to send attachments via direct email.
I missed it too (or was it day ten?)
I think I missed the drain lesson, can you send it to me too please? I think you have to click on our usernames and then that can take you to a contact page; the tab up there is to contact pro I believe.
**edit** I just clicked on your username AOTP and while it tells me you're female and in Canada it doesn't have a contact tab. So I presume you didn't input an email address when you joined :). Well mine should have (does have? Did I just check? I think I did...) so you can contact me that way.**edit***
cheers :)
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It's an inside job...
sorry for the formatting
or the lack thereof. Couldn't figure it out.
Day 12 synopsis- Here are my geek notes
thank you!!
ahhhhh this was going to be a real important one for me
thanks so much, that's ace
you're brilliant!! :)
Thanks AOTP,
fantastic notes, really clear and comprehensive,
And I am really a chocolate cake go-to person who's geting saddle-bags as a result so I'm really going to benefit from this lesson in more ways than one
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It's an inside job...
get more sleep!
@AOTP @hazyjane
well..it was bound to be in there somewhere! i havn't been on here much as i really have cut down procrastinating on line (not that i see this as procrastinating, i actually see visiting PA as a 'good thing' to do so much that it is almost in the chore list!)...the result of less time on line is that i enforced my bed TIME rule more forcefully.
i didn't really gain a lot from this session, i have long ago elimated all interference in the bedroom. i don't bring my phone or pc to bed. i redecorated it a few years ago in calming neutrals and kept things to a minimum in there, it's the only room in my house which is always tidy as i don't allow myself to leave mess in there. it has a calming feeling to walk in there, i did that specifically to help me sleep better. i wish it was as simple as going to bed on time.
the thing i got from this session was to designate a time to start bedtime routine! it's so simple, why did i not think of this before>> i;ve always listed start getting ready for bed on my daily list but what i mean is a concrete, set in stone, START BEDTIME ROUTINE. in a kind way! i've added come off line and stop doing anyhting interactive at the head of it.
my original goal was about creating and maintaing a hygeine routine, baseline was a bath starigh before bed. i have been achieving this and expanded greatly ( it sounds v basic but i was in a hell of a hole after the holidays) the programme has been great for me, i dread it ending. so my bedtime routine was already established, now i just add a designated time. i'm feeling v positive about this.
my complication about going to bed is kinda affected by ocd thinking, i smoke, outside, i don't like the smell of smoke and don't like to contaminate my huse with it, specifically my bedroom. i dislike going to bed with out bathing as then i want to wash my bedding the next day. i wash it too often, i think i sould wash it only once a week. my smoking is so bad, i do use it to punctuate everything, every achievement, even a 10 min burst. i crave if it;s been too long, much as i want to have a leisuely bath at night, i have a quick one beacause it's straight to bed. the bath MARKS the end of smoking for the day.
the post it's, yeah, i do that!
get more sleep is an important one for both of you, how did you find the session?
AOTP- are you getting rid of the phone in bed?
hazyjane- which louise hay do you listen to?
have a good day
jay
some thoughts from what youve written aotp jay hazyjane
Hi All thanks for sharing all this - I hope you don't mind me writing this here as what you have written has brought up some thoughts in my mind I think it would help me to get down.
HazyJane: good on you with the morning pages - I to used to do these years ago and I'm thinking I must dig them out because when I re-read them a while ago what was interesting was that the very same issues/thoughts still crop up years on.. I guess I still haven't resolved a lot of things! They were also a great tool to get the old brain going. Your comment 'If I hope to be a decent writer at some point I'm going to have to bloody write' made me laugh as I can totally relate to that! I have said the same thing myself more than once - though not necessarily about writing though I do love to write and as with many other things dont do it enough! Though come to think of it I did say to a friend once 'I'd love to be a writer' and he said 'You do realise you have to actually write?' ... so true, and it made me laugh as he knew me well!..
Jay: I was reading your earlier post and sounds like you have a lot to deal with, with your auto immune disease.. that must be hard to say the least. I hope there are still things you find you can be thankful for. I haven't been through anything like that but I imagine just being positive might be hard work in itself.
I guess we're all here to address our own issues and it's good to read things here that strike a chord with myself. I can relate to some of what you said and it's easy for me to look at my life and think I have failed in so many ways. But we know that that isn't a helpful way to look at things.. and in fact it's also not 100% true. There have been lots of small things I have achieved, and I hope you have to. I don't think people I know would say I'd been a total failure and it's a shame that some of us find it too easy to take that view of ourselves.. especially as we know it doesn't help to do so!
I've got a really big project on that is complicated and I have a tendency to say 'yes' to things and even though I'm struggling I don't want to admit it! This project is constantly in the back of my head, and we know it takes a lot of energy to avoid things really! But I have also chosen to do this project and I think I still want to.. so I really need to sort it out and I guess it does just mean applying myself on a daily basis.. which sounds simple... :-)
Like you I can get really stressed about things - well I initially avoid them which is in it's strange way comforting :-) but then it builds up and eventually I'm an anxious stressed out mess! I'm trying not to be that today! It's horrible and not helpful! And I think the stress for me might be a bit disportionate.. like it feels sometimes like the worst dread in the world, when it has truly built up to the max.. like something really terrible is going to happen!
Anyways feel ok so far today and trying to keep a calm head on! The world will not end if I don't get this done today (my thought for today so I don't run screaming from the project!).... but I do need to work at keeping applying myself.. the options are to stop this project and forget all about it.. which wouldn't be good but not the end of the world! And would be annoying coz I've spent months on it/worrying about it!! Or try and work on it and finish it.. but that isn't going to happen overnight and that's what I need to work on I think.. daily steps.. thats why I'm here I guess!
Also Jay I can relate to the smoking thing.. I do it a lot at home with the backdoor open.. and it does actually waste a lot of my time with the punctuation thing and the getting properly dressed too if I'm about the house in the day.. I don't want to get properly dressed coz I'll probably smoke more and if I go out I'll then smell of smoke which I don't like to do.. So I tend to delay the getting properly dressed thing til all my smoking's done and I'm just about to go out! Anyway I'm rambling a bit but yes I think smoking is really helping my procrastination along, if ever we need a distraction then smoking is perfect for that darn it!!! Especially when the smoking is done in a room other than the one you're trying to do work in....! so many things to consider here...
Sorry to hijack aotp's thread!... but good to read things that people are writing.. helps to put my thoughts in some sort of order.. day three at PA and it's good!
Thanks
Dotty
oh the smoking......
hello dotty, i just resd your post properly as i was dashing before
thank you so much for taking the time to post, i hope it's helping you to
my health is my main focus, stress if detremental to my condition, the condition causes stress ( unpredictability, poverty, depression ect) so this programme is great for me, helping to motivate me. i was in a mess a few weeks ago, luckily i'm not bad at the moment. maybe in part to sorting out my routine
the smoking thing.....yep, massive waste of time, strong addiction, i have postponed all thoughts of trying to stop for now. i need to lay foundations first. strange though that a habit so bothersome that gives us nothing..we persist. one day!!
i aslo have a massive project, it's not anthing enjoyable at all. the only reason i have to do it is to sort out some notes from the past. i put it off for years but now i'm tackeling it. i made it a whole lot worse by giving up before,,it's a massive can of worms. it has caused a low level stress always. my reward will be that's it's gone, done. i won't have it niggeling at me
oh didn't mean to sound so doom. i'm good at the moment, just having my green smoothie, have done my pilates...so a good day so far...just have to make it a bit productive
have a good day
jay
welcome to the happiness programme dotty!
hi dotty
welcome and thank you so much for your sharing your thoughts
have to dash, will reply properly tomorrow
jay
Yes, no need to apologize Dotty
I'm happy that you shared
And take what nuggets you can from the lessons you get now (there's still quite a bit). One other free course you might find useful is BJ Fogg's three tiny habits. It was recommended by Christine Carter. He has one starting Jan 21st I think; but you have to sign up for it. If you google him and three tiny habits you should find it. Let me know if you don't.
aotp
Day 11- Predecisions, reflection and 30 sec Meditation
@Jay- predeciding does make so much sense, doesn't it? It is so nice to have a name for it. Predeciding (or lack thereof) also explains why I feel mentally exhausted dealing with unpredictable or changing daily schedules at work.
I snoozed the alarm yesterday, and today. Again, the not judging myself for what I have or have not achieved is critical to keeping me able to persist on this goal. Truly amazing to me how much more clearly I can see the process after Christine's suggestion to remove judgement from this, but do measure the outcome(s).
What I have been able to do is to still get up earlier than I used to, with a clear vision of how things are going to proceed in the morning. I also have been trying to follow a "predecided" ;-) evening routine.
I have not risen with the first alarm every day consistently, but what has been consistent has been the setting of the alarm (sounds like a "duh" but seriously, I don't always do this!)
As for reflection on what influenced the outcomes:
going to bed after my decided time; surfing the net on my phone in bed; contemplating more sleep when my alarm goes off in the morning.
Ideas to address these issues:
-to not add anything to the evening routine on a whim; simplify evg. routine by removing step/delegating; moving alarm out of room; not sleeping with phone (but I like that sleep cycle app!!); adding internet blocking application to limit browsing when in bed.
I loved Christine's homework of the 30 second meditation. That I can do!!
How are you guys doing?
AOTP
thanks for sharing aotp
Thanks for sharing all this.. the course sounds great I have signed up to it though I've missed lots...maybe too much... and am feeling I dont have time for it - though should make time maybe!
Just that really simple thing about not judging... such a small sounding - almost obvious thing - really does sound powerful. As I sit here with a day ahead where I could progress on my project.. I'm aware that I do have a very negative voice in my head... I'm feeling bad about it, bad that I'm so behind, there is some worry in there and potential stress... in other words I am judging myself!! And I guess I need to let go of that and try and use my time well today.. I know if I do I will feel good! It's simple but really hard for the likes of me/us! But we need to keep on addressing it! Because these bad feelings are the very feelings that will lead me to avoid having a creating productive day.. because I want to avoid feeling this way.. and I *think* its the project thats making me feel this way so if I avoid it I'll feel better! (*in the short term*!!!!)
Thanks for making me think this morning :-)
Dotty
I need to build routines and the routines ARE predecided!
@AOTP @Jay,
guys you're really inspiring me and making me want to do my best (in a non-judging sense of 'my best'), and for that I think what we all need is to be positive about what we're doing and achieving, which even with the odd slip is a lot more than what we WERE doing :).
For me, my tiny habit of making the bed is in place, plus I've started doing 'morning pages' again, I used to do this a few years ago, it's a kind of journalling I suppose, a morning 'brain dump' where you write three pages of continuous 'stream of consciousness' stuff when you wake up (in the morning :)). My inner critic really put a stop to that before, 'you're so boring and self-obsessed and who cares anyway??' but the fact is, it's a tool, and a good one. If I hope to be a decent writer at some point I'm going to have to bloody write, and so getting back into the morning pages exercise is great. (And it's not as if it's meant to be 'good writing' or make sense or be entertaining!!!)
What else? Oh, every night I write on a post-it note the five most important things I want to do the next day and stick it on the wall next to my bed. Then I turn off the light and go to sleep listening to a Louise Hay tape. It's not the best example of a tiny habit because of the lack of a specific reward, so I need to start giving myself a 'yay!' when I stick it up or when I turn off the light. But is IS very gratifying seeing this long row of yellow post-its on my wall :). And I don't do every one of the five things (yet) but am bound to eventually... IF I KEEP AT IT!!
And the 30 second meditation: yes, I can meditate for thirty seconds. I just need to be clearer about when I do it, what the trigger/anchor is and what the reward is etc. But yes I think she makes it sound sooooo damn easy, and so damn beneficial, that it's basically silly not to do it (and am also thinking, she's giving me permission to do it, and to do all this good stuff. It's the kind of self-care stuff that I have put off doing for YEARS, or at least put off doing consistently: it's always, tomorrow tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes).
And now it's late and I need my bed, and to write my post-it note and give myself a 'yay!!!'.
See you tomorrow
(and I've just noticed that my 'subject' didn't really enter into my post at all, not in the sense of routines a la flylady, and that they ARE 'predecided'... oh well. Who mentioned ADD? I think I have that...)
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It's an inside job...
would like to join course... is it still possible
HI All
the 21 day course looks interesting.. i just went to the website though and saw that I cannot join in anymore.. any ideas or info anyone on whether i can still do this online course for free at some point?
Thanks
Calypso
Post it notes
I love the post-it notes idea hazyjane - it sounds just the thing for focus without being overwhelming.
i'm also thinking of using different coloured post-its for time-tabliing my week/month - different colours for different categorie like admin, exercise, house, and different projects, etc. So often one or more of these things fall of the radar, but at the same time, I don't want a rigid time for things, just an allocation of time. Well see how it goes.
mole
Day 10
I did it- got up with my alarm. After longingly looking at the snooze button, I slowly forced myself out of bed.
It's amazing how getting out of bed with my alarm at the same time every day is a significant and challenging goal for me. Now that I write that, I recognize that this is big for me (I've always been a late sleeper) but I guess I overestimated my ability to just overcome it by mind control.
My resolution started with getting up and exercising every morning. I still see that as something I am working towards, but not yet. I'm keeping with this tiny (yet huge) step.
Off to get ready.
aotp
beakthrough!!!
It was something you said in another post, about 'all the things' that you have to 'put in place' in order to support the habit of getting out of bed when the alarm goes off: lightbulb moment!!!! It seems obvious if you think about it but I haven't really been thinking about it: I'm still at the stage where if I don't 'feel' like doing something I generally won't do it!!! And this was a trait I was proud of!!!!!
So, no time to write any more now, I'll check in later,
Have a good solid tortoise-styleee day :)
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It's an inside job...
pre decide
i love that it's finally got an offical label lol, all of that indecision, what oreder shall i do things, confusion lol it's called 'pre decideding'
i had been doing this with out realising, last year when i was going to the gym first thing, i would put my gym clothes next to my bed, all laid out in the order to be put on, then the overlayer of clothes to walk to the gym in, i would pack my bag the night before as well. however, as always this routine didn't last. i didn;t know i was ill then and the gym was just using up energy and wearing me out.
( not related, i havn;t cancelled my gym membership as i keep thinking i'll be able to go back, this is also a pattern of thinking with me. i need to have the equipment even though i'm not doing the action)
well done both on your morning time routines and breakthroughs!!
i was doing well til yeaterday, i was so tired i fell asleep in the chair, woke up and went straight to bed with out a bath.
also i have realised one part of my new routine i am already sabotaging with negative thoughts, the baseline is in the mornings, i wash, fix my hair and get dressed properly, as if i was going outside. this might have been to big a goal. as i'm not going anywhere, am often in chronic pain so prefer to wear comfy house clothes. anyway today i'm thinking, what;s the point i'm not going anywhere. i need to correct that, i believe looking after yourself will help with a better outlook.
i enjoyed yesterdays meditation (which i listened to in the night hours), i used to go to the temple but that stopped as well. it was good to be reminded of the powers of meditation, i also need to put some time in reading and focusing on my old worksheets and make sure i am acting on my pre decisions.
have a good day , jay
Wow! Sounds exciting! Can't
Wow! Sounds exciting! Can't wait to hear more about this!
well done!
tiny steps!
hi
Hi aotp!
Your intial post made me laugh - not in a mocking way but in a 'i can so relate to that!' way.. i wasnt sure how to reply to your intitial post - doesnt look like i can..?
anyway great idea to post a day by day log, and thanks for sharing that course link i will check it out but perhaps not today as I have loads to do, have just joined PA.. and am going to set my pomodoro app timer - segments of 25 mins - in order to get on with my animation project which seems like a mountain that I need to scale in a very short period of time right now!
when i have a bit more time i'll come back and read your posts properly.. i fear I'll get swept up in PA and spend the whole day here if i dont pop off, and that, as we are familiar with, will probably having me feel anxious angry with myself later on today when I've made no progress at all! I'm going to post in the daily log section now and hope to make some progress and feel good at the end of the day :-) I think I'd like more interaction than the daily log gives.. so need to work out how to do that... this site is huge and just finding my way around it! Good luck with your day ahead!
Dotty
Thanks Dotty! It's nice
Thanks Dotty!
It's nice to hear you can relate. Today I am thinking about what an accomplishment it is to get up with my alarm and not snooze it (and yes! I made it to work on time! without driving like crazy to get there ;) and just thinking about my grander resolution makes me think (and not in a judgemental way) woah! that's A LOT! And I'm almost a bit shocked that I thought I could just force myself to get up and out the door everyday. I suppose it is possible, but what I'm doing right now seems much more doable to me. So exercising in the morning is more of a long term resolution now...
Enough of my blathering. Welcome to PA; it's a great place to be if you struggle with this stuff.
:-)
aotp
Day 8
Just feeling completely wiped today. Very, very glad that today is a rest and reevaluate day according to the course. Also, although I got into bed at a reasonable time last night, web surfing on my phone until 12:30am doesn't count as restful sleep if my goal is to be an early riser! Nonetheless, I dragged my butt out of bed with only one press of the snooze button. This is a success for my tiny step.
I find it interesting how my thinking leans so quickly towards judgement i.e. feeling like a failure, completely discouraged. When I take a second to look at all the big picture things I have adjusted to make getting up at this hour to be reasonable, I think, hey, it's not too bad. But it's hard to catch myself to stop that freight train, and once it's in motion, it can derail everything pretty quickly.
I will be going to sleep and not surfing the web. Writing this without berating myself is challenging, but I can see how the language I use really influences my motivation.
@Jay @Jane- any ideas or interest in connecting further re: accountability?
AOTP
@Jay @AOTP re 'cabinet'etc
Hi guys,
I'm up for this helping each other stay on track, so far I suppose I have established two 'tiny habits'... No, actually, come to think of it, one of them is lacking the 'reward' component!!! Must fix that (suddenly it becomes clear why this process of sharing with others is so helpful!)...
Anyway I've got to dash now,
Jane
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It's an inside job...
Day 7 & @Jay
I'm still here- just checking in quickly. I have been working on my resolution (read: struggling) but not giving up! I've really encountered some demand resistance that has been useful to reflect upon. Holidays have sadly wrapped up. But I think a more predictable daily pattern will help facilitate better habit formation.
@Jay- saw your post re: acc partners; what did you have in mind? That might be a good idea for setting up our "cabinet" ;)
My check-ins may (or may not) be erratic for the next couple of days depending on work, so don't assume the worst if I seem to be quiet!
I have my alarm set for an early rise; I'll let you know how that goes (without judgement-goodness that is ridiculously hard) tomorrow!
aotp
cabinet
hi AOTP
sorry havn't replied sooner, have had a frantic week, over soon, thank goodness
cabinet day was really deflating for me as i realised i didn't have a cabinet, i have a few people but i don't tend to be consistant with friends or family, due the health reasons affecting my emotions and not wanting to be around people.
this is not something i would share with anyone i know but one of my larger goals is to be consistant with relationships.
i'm still working on really basic resolutions, trying to dig myself out of a hole
it's going really well, i;ve listened to the programme every day and find it helps me. my most basic goal was to motivate a hygeine plan. this has worked, no matter how tired i am i;ve had a bath except day 9, i was so tired listening to the programme on that evening, was falling asleep. it had been replaced by the time i wanted to listen to it again, do you know how i can?
so day 10. i have massive improvements, sleep is a lot better, last night i got 4 hours whereas i was only getting about 1 1/2 (insomnia) eating is improved, i havn't missed any appointments due to lack of motivation
so my daily pattern is a lot better, i still procratinate on line in an very destructive way, really pointless reading. and i didn't check in here, which was procratination then i couldn't face it as i'd missed a few days.
re cabinet. i don't know what to suggest, i'm not a techie. just check in here or we could exchange phone numbers & use text? i'm always up so early lol you wouldn't have a chance of not getting up!
jay
Day five: didn't follow a single routine today !!! Except for...
...making the bed. Which is also my 'one tiny habit' as it takes less than thirty seconds and I can do it every day without an alarm or reminder. (btw AOTP my reward for that is a 'yay!' too. And a little jump in the air :))
The fact is, I have been 'on holiday', and haven't been using an alarm to get up in the morning, so today I overslept and that was that. Nice to catch up on sleep but I missed a meeting I wanted to attend, and procrastinated over doing any studying, and only listened to day fives' lesson just now at 11pm. I feel like my time-managrement today has been extra-inefficient. And am getting anxious just thinking about all the things I have to do that I slacked off on once I'd made an initial start, exactly the kind of 'licensing' effect that Christina went on about!!!
Still, I enjoyed hearing that I need to have more fun and pleasure and less anxiety and that I can hijack my own dopamine transmitters to make these behaviours/habits I want to cultivate more rewarding.
Right now though, I think I need to reward myself with sleep.
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It's an inside job...
day 5
hi jane
i'm using the smell of the bath lotion as my dopermine instant reward
rewarding with sleep, VERY GOOD!! i also have that as an above basic goal
good luck
jay
Jan 4 Brainwave- tiny tiny tiny steps!
Steps need to be tinier...focus first on getting out of bed at the same time every day and THEN working on creating a simple but do-able ritual around that. And the goal behaviour can be simpler, too, like wake up, get dressed, get outside to take dog for 15 min walk. OK.
Also very useful was the perspective to check on my commitment to the resolution to strengthen my resolve vs. evaluating my progress (judgement) as this leads to "moral licensing" i.e. a little bit of progress makes you feel like it's okay to slip up a bit. Tricky to keep that in perspective since measurement is necessary, but without that judgement. (that's my interpretation, anyways).
Christine Carter (course instructor) referenced this person: BJ Fogg from Stanford in her lesson yesterday and today. I watched this video: http://youtu.be/5WaToiunuWY and thought it was useful. Tiny tiny tiny steps. He also offers a free online course.
hi on day 4
hello ALTP, i was glad to read your day 4 update because that's what i got fron todays lesson, tiny, tiny, ingrain it. it seems to be a 'getting ready for flight' kinda thing?
i can't say i find i easy to folow all she's saying precisly but i do enjoy it, i often listen to it intensly first then listen to it again in the backround, it tends to click the second time when i'm more relaxed
my bodyclock is in chaos at the moment, a combination of insomnia due to pain in december, the holidays and the fact i was only holding a 'routine' together by self disaplin (no work) and that i'm a procrastinater (and feeling low) means i'm in a hole. my sleep pattern is wrecked, i'm not eating, washing ect. sorry that is maybe too gross a disclosure.
i figured out that an impending massive stress trigger made me shut down, that has always been a pattern.
so this happiness programme has been a bit of a life saver for me, i've been listening to it at night.
my goals are very small and based on creating a hygenine routine. it's serving me in this aim.
if i'd been in a better mind frame i think i could get more from it, infact if i was in a good routine and head space at the moment i havn't a clue what i would have set as my goal
onwards and upwards
jay
Hi Jay
Hi Jay,
It's nice to hear how it's going for you! I find that I think I know what she's saying but the next day's lesson clarifies some assumptions I made the day before. I have revised my steps/goals in a big way since starting this!
I have now made the following two "tiny" steps/goals so far:
1. When I hear my alarm I will get out of bed (and make coffee as my reward)
2. When I finish dinner I will wash one dish (reward is a yay me, or maybe a decaf...I love coffee)
I realize I am going to bed too late and sabotaging my morning routine, instead of finishing dinner and web surfing for "just a minute" I will try to create the routine of cleaning up "just one dish".
I think hygiene goals are a great one. For me, once those are done it's like the runway at the airport...I feel ready to go. And somedays getting off that runway is so tough!
Good luck to you today
day 5
hi AOTP
i'm enjoying the happiness thing, day 5 was good
my current state of body clock chaos and lack of routine started with bedtime sabotarge, it's something i've always struggeled with. as i don't have a set time to get up (no work) it's easy to do. also i think i've developed internet addiction.
have you developed an immediate dopermine effect tactic to keep you on task? as in day 5, i found that useful yesterday.
i'm just forcing myself at the moment, i know i have to get to a better place.
my goals are so basic i was embarrased to say. so thank you for taking it seroiusly
going to listen to day 6 later
good luck, keep listening, you can do it
jay
January 4- bummer
January 4- bummer
I was zonked and didn't do it this morning. Went to bed too late last night. Wasn't clear on what I wanted to do this morning and that I would have the energy to do it. Bummed a bit. I'll pick up again with today's lesson and try again. I think also what comes to mind with breaking this resolution down is that I don't have consistency with getting up in the morning (or going to bed at night) and if I miss my small morning window where I can go for a walk by myself, then it's gone and I no longer have the time to myself (kids).
Perhaps this project is an opportunity to work on that.
Jan 3
I woke up to my alarm and yes, snoozed it. And then was annoyed that the snooze only lasts for 2 minutes. What a rip-off! So I snoozed about 5 times before deciding that I would be really disappointed in myself if I didn't get up. So I did. And picked up my list of steps to do and followed it.
Took one look at the snow outside and thought I might avoid injury if I stayed inside for 'one more day' and did my walk tomorrow. But a canine companion's eyes are unforgiving if you have had the nerve to utter the phrase "want to go for a walk?" and you even think about backing out. So out we went! And there are few things more rewarding than a dog who is ecstatic to be out in the early morning snow. That reward is more than any smoothie; it's better than any reward I could have conjured up yesterday.
Success today. Woohoo! Tired; it's been a long day and I still have to do today's class. So I'll see how tomorrow goes.
I'm doing it too :)
Hi allovertheplace, hi jay,
thanks for the link, I really like the teacher, she's so honest ('a recovering perfectionist') And a real PhD.
I missed Day one, and haven't actually watched day three yet, but anyway I'm impressed with what I've got out of it so far. I'm a bit hopeless at filling in 'worksheets' though: I can never think what to write because my head tends to overcomplicate (or oversimplify) things, and so I sidestepped that one. But having read Jay's comment I'm thinking I should try and do them.
So the thing I'm going to try and build into a habit is the whole flylady routines thing: I KNOW this would make life so much easier and more manageable!!! And I'm not trying to go from 0 to 90 in a day, I'm going to start with the very very basic ones and hopefully by Day 21 I'll be 'fluttering' my way to a fitter body and tidier home and more serene mind!!! Which reminds me: 'fifteen minutes of loving movement'. That's one of those 'advanced level' bits of the routine I've chosen to avoid, but actually, today I feel like doing some stretchy things to help my back ache, so I'm going to go for it :).
And the 'reward' can be watching the Day three video with a nice cup of herbal tea. Except that sounds a bit too bloody worthy and not all that rewarding, in the 'instant gratification' sense I'm used to!!! Oh well, work in progress.
cheers,
Jane
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It's an inside job...
hi jane
yeah, it's good isn't it
welcome aboard
i used to really struggle to drink my smoothie, now i listen to christine while drinking it, the timimg is quite good. i've donr the green smoothie & happiness 4 days now and have a strong association between the two,
welcome aboard
jay
Hi Jane, I'm glad you
Hi Jane,
I'm glad you are enjoying it and like the teacher; I like her for the same reasons. She's down to earth and presents information that is well-researched and practical, with her own anecdotal (but still appropriate) experience tossed in to make the whole thing more do-able.
Best wishes to you with your flylady routines!
AOTP
Jan 2; Day 2 Part 2
I actually made time to sit down and do the work for day 2. I liked having someone in my ear coaching me along (the audio for the class). Today she talked about three important things in creating a habit:
1. anchor -this sounds to me like the association/cue behavior I read about in a very useful posting on this site. This is something you identify as a trigger for the routine/habit you want to cultivate; when it becomes a habit this is a cue that triggers the brain to go into autopilot. It can be something as simple as your morning alarm going off. This is what I have chosen, along with my clothing ready and set out for me to get into.
2. routine- listing the behaviours that will comprise the routine/new habit. She emphasizes attending to order and discusses how in learning a new routine/habit, we use a lot of energy, but once it's learned, it doesn't require nearly as much energy. Part of this is due to the need to anticipate and plan each step of a new(er) behavior; if we pay attention to doing things in the same way each time, we increase the learning for our brain to change this into a habit. I was able to outline the steps I need to follow tomorrow morning to do this. She also suggested we do our new habit daily, as this helps to speed up the learning as well.
3. Reward- this can be as little as acknowledging to yourself "yay me!" and she said it needs to be immediate.
Well, my alarm is set and I've written my declaration out here. All I have to do is get up and out into the cold, snowy morning in eight hours!
I think the tips in this habit planning will be useful for me to possibly try applying to daily action plans and other good ideas on this site. But one bit at a time for me; let's see if I can get to day 3!
Jan 2
I watched the second video and I was relieved. Already I had felt like I was failing in not doing enough, second guessing myself etc.
But today's lesson was very detailed in those things I was worried perhaps I should have done. I'm glad there is such focus on the smaller details in creating a habit or ritual of behavior. And now I just have to sit down and do that work today of figuring it out. It creates a lot of anxiety about expectations and what not. And a lot of impulses to try to avoid the discomfort. I have to do some other errands right now and will have to fit it in later on today.
Jan 1
I'm not quite sure how to update this, so I'll just add to my original post; I've taken the New Year's part of the title off the heading to keep myself focused on the project.
Today is January 01/13 and I did watch the Day 1 of the Habit Formation course. I made my resolution and completed the worksheet that goes along with the first day, so that is an accomplishment.
On a side note, everytime I come back to this website, I find more information. I am very interested in treating my procrastination by using the 12 step approach, but I feel anxious when I think about trying one of the meetings. And there are the daily meetings- are they on the phone? And the weekly meeting- is that online only? I know this site is very friendly to beginners, but I am a bit of a nervous person anyways. But I think it would really help me to keep moving forward. That's it for today. Bit by bit.
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