I have just joined the forum and wanted to introduce myself and give a little information about me and the issues that I have
I am a part time phd student in the UK.
I find it hard to "sit down" and work despite the fact that I have plenty of time in which to study. I think that is part of the problem. As I feel I have so much time and I don't use it weeks can pass with me doing anything which makes me feel guilty and sad.
I have a terrible habit of planning to start something and then not...weeks passing and then beating myself up with "well if you had started 2 weeks ago you could have had a better go at, had more time etc" this puts me off working and so the cycle repeats. I then envisage having to do work that I had planned would take a month crammed into 2 weeks. Because of this I try to do to much in a short space or time and give up / use it as an excuse not to bother. A self- fulfilling proficy.
Because I study on my own and don't often work I don't have the ability to talk to others...work problems through and I lose perspective....what is actually a little problem or a small bit of work becomes massive and "undoable"
In other areas of my life I put off doing even little things like opening the post..replying to emails, then when I do do it I berate myself as it wasn't that hard and why did I make such a fuss about it.
I need to find a part time job / short term contract but put that off, frightened I might be turned down for even the most mundane jobs (I won't but I make excuses not to apply)
I use the anger and frustration that I have at having had the time to do things and not done them to put me off starting doing them. I am always beating myself up over something.
I hope that in joining this forum I can put some perpective back into mylife and start to enjoy doing things in a relaxed and productive way
I would love to get an accountability partner and will post in the appropriate section.