Greetings one and all,
I've lurked around PA for a few months now, even called into a few morning check in meetings. They helped a lot but I didn't keep up with it.
I have a terrible problem with procrastinating ... especially at work. I surf and I surf and I surf and I read articles and I follow links and I lose myself online for hours and days and weeks instead of working. It is terribly painful and destructive but I can not stop. Sometimes I love surfing, sometimes I hate it.
Anyway, I am in a different 12-step program as well. Started in December last year. It is going well. I was at a big book meeting last night and we were reading the chapter To Employers, and I read this:
"He may wish to do something for other alcoholics and something of the sort may come up during business hours. A reasonable amount of latitude will be helpful. This work is necessary to maintain his sobriety." (p 146)
I have been very resistant to doing any recovery work online (I have such problems online, I just so wanted to meet with people in person). But reading that passage last night, I was struck with the idea of using email and this forum. I believe it is the right thing for me to do at this time. I do have SOME latitude at work. Normally I use that latitude to surf my life away, but as I mentioned, that has become unbearably painful and has been for years now. So now I am going to try to use the latitude I have at work to talk with other addicts.
So that's my story. Thank you so much for being here. I try to talk to people in my other program about this procrastination/compulsive surfing stuff, they are generally understanding and empathetic, but most just can't connect with me deeply because they don't have the same problem, circumstances, etc.
I should also mention I also procrastinate outside of work, thought I don't feel as terrible about that stuff in general. The one place that it's become dangerous is with my car. My ABS brakes need to be repaired. I didn't get it done last winter, and now we have had our first snow storm (upper midwest, USA) and I still am very far from getting it done. There is a mechanic that was recommended to me very near to our office, I still haven't gone there. I have the money for it, too... Alas.
Again, thanks for hearing me, I look forward to connecting with people here. I am going over to the daily check in thread now.