I had an interesting moment Sunday night while sleeping and not feeling
well, where I heard my Higher Power tell me that I was "dying" (not literally) and
then would be restored in a few days. This was very powerful after
everything I've been through (hell pretty much)
The next day I got a second wind and finally did my Goals Pages for my other recovery program, only the most important ones, with a few action steps. It gave me focus and direction and a vision for where I want to go in the next few weeks. Then I did a full hour workout doing the exercises I really need to do that I've neglected for ages. It felt great. Three days worth of exercising is already seeing me lose some weight.
Then last night a new idea came over me that I could pray to my Higher Power for the wilingness, motivation and desire to do my work, as much of it as I could, to earn as much money as possible to finally be free! I told HP of my Expectation of a breakthrough with this willingness desire motivation. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
This new focus may have also come about from doing 4th step work related to my fears and resentments. I'll write about what I discovered later, but essentially it was a severe codependency that had me thinking I could not be successful in life without them.
But I'm an adult now and I have the right to be successful through myself and God and I don't need them for that. I don't have to be afraid of failure because I don't need their approval or to compare myself to them, and I don't have to be afraid of success because I am allowed to shine and if they want to be #1 that's their issue and I don't have to keep myself down to please them. I am dependent on my HIGHER POWER FOR ALL LOVE AND APPROVAL AND SUPPORT.
So, I expect that the Holy Spirit will work through me today, breaking through all blocks and letting me succeed as an adult so I can enjoy prosperity!