horrible habit formed
i remember joining this site in 2011 and thinking THIS IS IT..NEVER AGAIN am i going to procras. but here i am , it's nearly 2013 and im still doing the same thing. I can't believe it, i feel like crying as i write this. This habit has becime worse. I've developed really bad chronic ritual type habits like for eg i must buy a book every time i intend to start breaking my procras habit .. so that i can make notes in it or i must buy myself something new to mark the start of my 'new amazing action habit' etc. The worse thing is i'll do this non procras thing, for a week and then drop the whole thing and say damn i cant start till its monday now.I'll then procras and avoid everything till monday and then it'll start again. I've now found that if i cant actually make myself not procras unless it's monday!!! i hate it!
I have so many talents and i use to model..but this effing habit(sorry for swearing) has started to affect my looks, health physically and mentally, it makes me do impulsive things because i hate myself when i think of how much ive procrastinated. It's so hard man. It's like climbing a mountain alone..slipping and then climbing up again for all eternity. I've been told im a talented actor, writer etc...and 'why do you not grab oppurtunities?? ..i don;t know..its like ive become possesed by this habit.
does anyone else understand how it feels? sniff