Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Dissertation due in 1 month!
Thank you for whoever reading/responding to this and understanding the pressure!
After reading co-PA user Thesis's post in here I felt inspired to try and do the same thing with my dissertation. - Thank you to Thesis for that and good luck with your thesis!
----------------------------------------
Potentially in 1 month time I have finished my postgraduate study and will never have to find myself back at university. 
Sounds amazing, but it is all dependent on how well or badly I progress this month, as zero of my 12.000 words are 'on paper' yet.
Having said that, I have already read a lot around the topic and even completed 'fieldwork'; interviews etc.
My rough plan as shared with my supervisor is as following:
27-8 Handing in my literature review & description of followed methodology (for feedback) [in 5 days!]
4-9 Hand in data-analysis draft (for feedback) [in 13 days!]
10-9 Hand in Conclusions (for feedback) [in 19 days!]
24-9 Hand in revised FINAL DOCUMENT (Scary day!!) [in 33 days!]
Wow. Even just writing that down helped me realise the time scale better! Yes, the final version goes in a month from now, but in reality my last opportunity to receive feedback is 2,5 weeks (19 days) from now!
In addition to that I have a chronic back pain problem that at times prevents me from being able to work. All in all, I will need to focus more than ever to prevent this from becoming a disaster the way my bachelor degree was... I truly believe it is possible though and want to commit to making it happen.
It's all in my hands. Focus, win. Delay, lose. I will be trying to get through this in a thousand minibursts that, individually, are doable! Someone in the chatbox compared the end goal to a mosaic a while ago: to which minibursts of focussed work are the single tiles of which our completed work is made up.
- I can lay single tiles, so I'll get there. Thinking about the 'grande' end result only makes me nervous and stuck though. So just one tile/miniburst of work at a time!
[ If not shown here, see link for an inspirational image of a gorgeous colourful mosaic staircase in San Fransisco: http://www.spireinme.com/gorgeous-mosaic-staircase-in-san-francisco/ ]
I will start posting smaller (perhaps daily?) goals very soon, so I can check on my own progress.
Good luck to all in your challenges! 
We can do this.
- Login to post comments
KEEP GOING!
Wolke you're almost there for real! Just a few more days to go and you'll be free! I'm proud and excited for you :)
THANK YOU getting.unstuck...! :D
Seriously, the support and cheering on I'm getting make a HUGE difference! Thank you so much for your kind message and for being excited and even proud. It's very sweet!
I am continuing with my "paralympics"-thesis-marathon. Yaaaaaaay!!!
I can almost see the end line!
Today I am working on the last data-analysis section that needs writing. Then it's "just" editting and cutting around 4 thousand words (god knows how......
).
YIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Hope you are well too, getting.unstuck. Big hug!
*cheers!* Go Wolke Go!
Yup, support and cheering are necessary for thesis completion I think! :) (and I don't get either from my supervisor - one reason I'm taking forever)
4000 words? Hmm... ya I had to cut 15 pages before, and now they want me to add! Don't understand how that works... but I know I was super repetitive, so check for repetitiveness/redundancy. Also what's not necessary for understanding what you did... I know it's crunch time, but maybe a friend could read it and tell you what you don't need.
Btw, I find paralympians super inspiring ;)
*hugs* to the finish line!
Limp on to the finish Wolke!
Hhhhhhhh. "Paralympics thesis marathon" made me laugh. I take my hat off to your indomitableness (sp?). And 4,000 words TOO MANY!!! How did that happen, you over-achiever, you. Perhaps you can sell some of your extra words to those who dont have enough? I could take a few hundred off your hands.
v best!
Hooch
Humurous Hooch, thanks! !
Hi Hoochie,
Thank you for the compliments! Glad I made you laugh too.
The words too many reflect my issue with not knowing what topic to prioritise, and my fear of not being good enough.
So my challenge for the weekend is stripping the text back to only essential basics. Wish it could help you to give the words to you. :) Really! Are you writing about conflict management too? :P If not, sorry and good luck, my fellow PA-er!
Take care and good progress wished to you.
Logging off now from my afternoon sessions with 51x10minute bursts on my name. Oh yeah! Progress feels GOOOOOOOOD. I forgot how good. REALLY good!
Wolke
51 x 10 is excellent. And you are researching Conflict Management, what a fascinating subject! I went on a course about this recently and it was SO interesting. (All the participants were saying to one another - why did no one teach us about this earlier, like maybe in primary school?) I guess your excess words will not really fit in with my theme, altho I have plenty of conflicts it must be said, mostly internal. Pls let me know any tips for managing them :-).
H
Go
Go away back pain, go away!
H
Thank you Hooch
Sending you the biggest hug ever for sending positive vibes over. ((
))
REALLY appreciated.
Today is quite painful still, but I'm hopeful and made it to Starbucks to work with a walking stick and kind partner who carried my laptop bag.
Good wishes to you too!!
Wolke
dear fellow dissertator,
wolke, you are so close! i am new to this website, i am a doc student, ABD now for about 2 years, a mom of 4 kids, and struggling with procrastination that causes me to doubt myself. it is so gratifying to see someone who identifies with procrastination who is almost done. good luck!!! and i'd love to hear some words of wisdom when you have the time.
Dear phdmom :) thank you
Welcome to the site, and thank you for your very nice message!
Much respect to you for having a family as well as your doc to manage! I really believe in what I put in my first message when I made this topic thread; everything you get done is a step closer. If you are tired and feel low, don't tell yourself "Oh god now i needs to do 4 hours of writing", rather tell yourself. "Ok, now i will look at my document for 5 minutes/ I will write one sentence,/edit one paragraph" Often we then find ourselves continuing longer once we've started. That helps, especially when combined with an egg timer (see this great one online: http://www.focusboosterapp.com/live , it even ticks to add consciousness of the time and the fact that you have to do a "burst" of work for a small amount of time). If you monitore your progress per 10/30 minute burst on an excel sheet or so you also get a lot more insight on how you spend your time).
I think all of that and interim deadlines for a bit of a push, is helping me. But I'm not there yet, even now today I have only done less than two hours work and it is evening already. I procrastinate and make things harder for myself. In my excel sheet i have a sentence I wrote while working greatly for hours. It says:
I have peace in my heart when i steadily work on the document.
I believe we can create the circumstances for ourselves where we can. Even if for me that means I have to sit in Starbucks for 10 hours sometimes, living on a budget filter coffee with free refill. It's amazing how nice the staff are, and how willing friends, and people in general, can be to give you a hand towards your goal.
I don't know of any of that helps, but if it does excellent! Good luck to you and you will one day write "only 5 days to go".
Best of luck, stay positive and believe in yourself.
Thank you Wolke for taking
Thank you Wolke for taking the time to respond. i really think that having that interactive relationship on here, helps alot. the comraderie and validation is really helpful. i do use the online stopwatch, but i will check out your egg timer. i also do keep an excel sheet since i first started.
i dont want to blame anyone else because i take responsibility for where i'm at , or not at, rigth now, but the fact is that i've discussed this with many students who feel that the universities are doing a very poor job of being supportive and helpful throughout this painful process. on top of that, my advisor went on sick leave and passed away, and i now have a new advisor, and the transitions are not easy. again, i know, that it is all me, and if i could psyche myself to do the work, then i would be done, but this is what i had to contend with.
interim deadlines would be great, but i havent had much of that. i would work so much better with deadlines rather than this far off deadline. self proposed deadlines dont really carry much weight for me.
thank you and wishing you Godspeed!
Sorry to lurk on this thread, but :)
PhDmom,
Sorry to lurk on this thread, but I related to what you are saying about having interactive relationships here.
In my (very) brief time using this wonderful forum (which is helping me a lot), I noticed that there's not tons of interaction, no private messages, etc. (There IS private messaging, see edit below).
I'm guessing people are worried about using the forum as a venue for procrastinating? And rightfully so?
The paradox comes in for me when in my other recovery program, we talk about addicts working with addicts all the time, as an absolutely vital tool for recovery.
Perhaps the way people interact with each other here is as addicts helping addicts. Or perhaps people email each other outside of the forum. I dunno. Or maybe there's more interaction than I think, I just haven't figured it out cuz I've been on here all of three days?
That said, I'm extremely grateful for this site and this group. It is helping me a lot as it is!
Anyway, good luck thesis writers!
Edit: There IS a way to private message. If you go into your account, you can select to allow people to private message you, which I believe will send an email to your registered email address, without the person seeing the email address. Then, if you want to message somebody, you click on that person's user name and click on contact (if the person has enabled that feature, if they haven't enabled it, the contact tab is not available.)
Hi Andy :)
Don't worry about 'lurking on this thread", everybody is free to read all!!
I just wanted to say I understand what you are saying and explain a bit for you. :)
Some indeed use the site mostly to reflect to themselves. But also much of the personal interaction is, as you suspected, is done outside the chatbox for instance so that people minimise distracting other members with it - as we all have procrastination luring.
I for instance have 2 buddies i made in the chatbox who I email with outside this website. And I see more people "team" up when they have similar goals for instance Eleanor and Salamander I think with their exercise goals, and Thesis and I around our thesis. You will always find for instance in the chatbox, some people who need no commenting on their expressions so that they can work out their struggles through reflecting, and others who really enjoy working together and encouraging openly.
Both kinds of people are around here and the beauty of the site and the 12 step programme is that we tolerate and appreciate each other's needs and different struggles. Always feel free in the chat box to ask in general "would anyone want to work together with me?" or "Feel free to join my burst of work", just make sure that your question is directed openly to all those in the chatbox rather than one individual so that those who just want to reflect can continue to do so without us work-buddy-seekers addressing them personally asking to work together. Hope that makes sense. You'll find me online in the chatbox if you'd like to work together :)
Take care :)
Thanks for this reply from
Thanks for this reply from last week, Wolke. I like what you said about people using the site to reflect to themselves. That makes a lot of sense.
And congratulations again on your achievement!
andy
Less than 5 days to go for Wolke
"The Final Push"
I am trying to work as well as I can, although sometimes it is hard to keep being positive. Anxiety this last week until dissertation deadline Monday is making me emotional at times but overall I'm going well.
)
Review of past days (I call every burst of ten minutes effective work a step):
Sat 10-11 28 steps
Sunday 11-11 29 steps
Monday 12-11 62 steps (!! Really want to do this again
Tuesday 13-11 37 steps
Today to be continued...
My steps of work these last 5 days all have to reach 40-50 per day at least and then I'll make the deadline.
Very exciting stuff. In 1 weeks time I will have NO formal education demands anymore... EVER! DONE!
Call my work bursts "steps" now, cuz every one takes me closer!
Hi dear PA-ers,
Today progress was not as good as yesterday yet, but I can still use another 5 hours in the best way possible. I've done timewise 25 bursts of 10 minutes, but they were of less progress and quality compared to yesterdays. No worries though. Mindful and positive I trot on!
5 hours to go until midnight. That means there is the opportunity of doing max 5x6=30x10 minute bursts. I want to realistically do 20-30. This chapter on projects needs to be done, and I need to be on the next at the end. I am going to start calling my work bursts steps now, because every step i take brings me closer to my goal in 1 week from now.
7 days until I hand in whatever dissertation I then have...
Solidarity and positivity wished to all ,
Next step, GO! :D
Way to go!!!!!
you are doing great wolke. 7 days and handing that thesis in will be wotrth all this work and bursting! Well done! Wishing you ease in your writing. Great job so far- keep going - nearly there!
Thank you jalla!!
Thank you so much for your support Jalla. Perfect timing as I was just spacing out and forgetting to focus.
Only 1 week indeed. And it will be worth it. :)
Thank you! You good luck too!!!!
10-11, 9 days till DEADline!
I'm steaming forward like a robust unsinkable version of the Titanic. (i hope)
The deadline pressure is both giving me adrenaline as well as serious anxiety attacks, but I am meditating in the morning and evening to cope with them and prevent them from blocking me.
9 days might sound long to some of you, but really, the last day doesn't count as it has to be in by 12 noon and from experience I now know that 2 weeks can pass with the blink of an eye. I prefer to see it as 3 x 2 or 3 days (which always fly by).
Today a lot came together, I found that my conceptual framework is actually helpful for writing my data analysis which makes me very happy. I am 4 thousand words (in 5 days max) and 3 days of editing away from the FINAL DEADLINE.
And you know what, I can do this! For the first time today I felt I actually can. I am shaking of nerves, but the meditation is keeping me sane. In addition to that I booked a nice reward for myself and my partner the day after the deadline. :D
Oh my, ....December without dissertation to do. What a Christmas blessing that is...!
Good luck to all, in solidarity,
Wolke.
ps. I am absolutely not "cured" but good old deadline stress is keeping me going for now. 40 bursts of 10minutes a day is the daily goal.
8-11 means 11 days until final thesis deadline!!!
Only a bit more than TEN days to go, so a few new rules to help me TRANSFORM the rest of my life by succeeding in the next 11 days. YES I CAN become MSc. Wolke
(if previous night to bed in time, if i went to bed at 1 or 2am due to dissertation work, then get up at 8.45 latest to start at 8am)
because the nerves keep me awake otherwise.
Yes, ambitious and not easy, but doable and it's the only way to finish this serious deadline. Otherwise I have to work constantly and can't go to sleep next week and that's an even more rubbish idea.
Rule 4) Don't do big household chores, don't go out to socialise unless day-quota achieved.
So to check in and out, no chatting.
Now on my bike and ride!!!! Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmm! --> (thunder and lightning exploding on the backgroud of my bike track
Here I come!)
Wolke progress update
Today, or last night were i not such perfectionist, I finally "finished" my redone
literature review, only 5700 words compared to earlier 8000 (Good! Had to be cut!). I am leaving it
behind me now because I could edit forever but don't have the time! The plan
was to finish 25-10 and i actually finished 2-11, a week and a day later.
This shows how I make unrealistic plans.
It's
no less realistic though that I have to hand in my final work 19-11 latest!)!!!!
So!
I
want to write methodology and conceptual framework over this weekend (hand in
5-11). They only have to be 500 to 1000 words, less is more! So I should just jot it down. Then I can show this to my supervisor on Monday, get some
confirmation that it's okay (or wait for it but still continue) and do data
analysis.
Data
analysis (max 4000words) will take a full week, if I work at least 8 effective
hours per day, writing one section per day, I can have it finished by the
12th of November and then visit my supervisor for a meeting - even though
it's too late to hand in for written feedback. . .
Whatever
happens, the 19th of November
will be the final day that I
check in for a while! I hand in whatever I have on that day, so I better get to
it! :)
Excitement arouses me thinking of The Day It's Behind Me. Whatever it will be, it'll be a pass at least. :) That's how I should think. Just focus on the task now.
GO GO GO! (in the chatbox every day!)
ps. I need to get up earlier, at 8am!
Struggling thesis to wolke
Hey are u going to be back to do work today? its 11.30pm here but id like to get some serious stuff done tonight b4 sleeping!
Wolke to serious Thesis
Hey Thesis,
My internet wasn't functioning for a few hours which turned out a blessing as i worked.
It's back now and if you're still up I'd love to work together. 14.30 here so you must've only just sent me this.
Will be in chatbox, talk soon and let's succeed! :]
Vrrrmmmm!
RE: Today NEEDS to be successful; pretend deadline..!
I won't reply to the post below in case you need to edit it further. But like you, in the past after getting a deadline extension I'd stop working effectively, and in my case I'd go straight back to procrastinating, watching tv, surfing the net, daytime sleeping etc etc like some stupid spoilt kid. Yikes!
I've been reading The Procrastination Equation which talks about why I behave like this, and how this may be due to me valuing rewards that can be realized quickly far more highly than rewards that require me to wait - in short I am impulsive. There are strategies to deal with my impulsiveness and its connection to procrastination, and the technique you are using in breaking down a project into smaller tasks, and setting a series of RED ALERT deadlines, seems like what the doctor has ordered! (In this case Dr Piers Steel who wrote this book!!)
I have an absolutely final deadline to get a report and budget in at the end of this month, the deadline has been moved for the last time and the consequences if I keep procrastinating on this severe. So I will try sub-goal & 'pretend' deadline setting to help get past my impulsiveness and its devastating effect on my time-sensitivity.
Thanks for the inspiration. All the best to you in your quest, and let's get anticrastinating!
Wolke to jack RE
Today NEEDS to be successful; pretend deadline..!
So the new deadline is mid November and I'm leaving to my home country on the 22nd of Nov. THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE TO COMPLETE MY STUDY.
Since having heard that I have been given more time I stopped working as effectively. The urgency decreased and apparently I have a high treshold to experience URGENCY; it needs to be RED ALERT LAST WARNING! in order for me to work well.
So I shall endeavour to create my own RED ALERT (imagine flickering light and beeping).
I want my literature review edited and completed Thursday 25-10. That's in TWO DAYS, I better get to it.
My conceptual framework and methodology need to be completed by Sunday 28-10.
My data analysis needs to be done in the week from 29-10 to 4-10 (to be split up into smaller deadlines that week).
Introduction, conclusion and overall document editing from 5-10 to 11-10.
Today: At least 30 bursts on lit review! GO GO GO!!
Red alert!
It is never too late to turn your day around! How:
No excuses.
No looking back.
Just doing it NOW.
It is never too late
to turn your day around.
If you're fed up with your own slow/lack of progress, no matter the time. Stop. Close your eyes for 3 minutes. Forgive yourself. Let go of guilt. Imagine HOW exactly you do want it to go. Open your eyes and DO just a 1, 2 or 5 minute burst of this better focus. A tiny start.
There you are. You've changed your path. You are effective again. Just continue on this path now. Step by step. Gain confidence. The hardest bit is over.
Master project update: 2 months delay but NEVER giving up!!!
Yesterday I had a meeting with supervisor. Thank you for the support the night before from several chatbox members.
I crazily tried to finish my data analysis overnight, so I could go to the meeting with the material for feedback. At 4am night time I had to admit to myself that it wasnt realistic as I was still typing at section 2 out of the 10 sections.
Instead, I turned to writing down all the questions I had for supervisor, so at least I came prepared.
Supervisor was really helpful but also pointed out how much work still was to be done, and that I had to apply for a longer extension. Me and my bad idea of time needed, suggested 1 week extra, but got corrected with my supervisor pointing out a month would be better. And, that it would be the last extension I could receive.
So:
Good news, there is the opportunity to finish this and make it into a piece with quality.
Bad news, this makes my project officially delayed with another month to mid November in the meantime I can't have a job despite money problems and can't visit my family as I'm still abroad working on this.
So, Thesis and other people who like to burst together in the chatbox: I'll be around for one more month to burst and work together. But by God, I pray that afterwards I will not need to be on this website for quite a while! (read: not have to write big documents anymore)
Will repost a new month planning soon when I have a fair idea about what I'm doing when.
Wish good focus and progress to all!
You are doing great!
Keep up the great work wolke! You are doing a great job indeed. Well done!
Thank you Jalla :)
Hello Jalla,
Don't think we've met before but very nice way to meet you! Appreciate your encouragement very much, thank you for seeing the positive in my work. :grin:
I hope your efforts are going well too. Perhaps see you in the chatbox.
Best wishes,
Wolkie
Thesis to Wolke
Hi Wolke, how are u going? Miss you in here! Are you getting stuff done and making progress. I have been meandering aimlessly lately :( Hope to see you around here some time soon! Hugs!
Wolke to Thesis: i'm back!
Hey Thesis, I'm back from holiday now and ready to team up and do bursts of focussed work together! Hope to see you here soon, sorry things have been hard. Just remember, never give up! And we'll get there...
Hugs, Wolke
6/7-10 Wolkie progress report
Ok.
So what I thought would cost me half a day to 1 day, actually cost me 4 days. But now the interviews are transcribed/summarised/or something close to it.
I am having to stay up at least half of night time to make up for my 'miscalculation' in progress. I think it's no wonder that many of us want to continue working until the last drop when inspiration and flow is present, because it's just so damn hard when it's absent.
I really feel that in this stage of analysis I realise how inapt I've been. I am trying to not let it freeze me and just produce what I do have, rather than dwelling on my lack of decent information from the interviews. I know i gave my all and the worst scenario is that I'm not a research superstar: so be it. Kinda know that already. Letting go of the hope for a distinction.
A friend said yesterday: "well, you already have a masters degree and a distinction in loveliness."
Sweet I guess. It's really very nice of him to say, and I do generally try to be a good person to those around me. What confuses me is: why does that not satisfy me. - I seem to rate and respect everybody around me by their kindness. Why am I so harsh for myself, expecting so much more, having the NEED to be a good performer in my study?
On that note, I am going to start analysing my meagre dissertation results.
One more day left and I should send a draft. Sounds impossible, but I'm going to bloody try, because I want rid of this thing.
ps. Read somewhere that writing a thesis is half gaining knowledge about a specific research topic and half gaining knowledge and insight into yourself. Guess so!
Good luck, focus and determination to all.
Wolk.
5-10 Slowing down, halting and chatbox challenges
Ok. After 6 days of hard and almost constant work, my flow is (has) disappearing (disappeared) and I feel more dependent on other people working on the chatbox. I have recognised I have a bit of a problem with chatbox use:
For me the chatbox only works when there are some others (or someone else) doing micro bursts of work, I always hope to find a "burst buddy".
Other times a lot of the talk on the chat is on how things are NOT moving, how people feel HEAVY and DIFFICULT and how STUCK people are, and reading all those words drags me into the same horrible feeling of being stuck too. As if it's INFECTIOUS. As if it's sneaked in beers at the AA meeting. :P
I understand the need for people to talk themselves through something, but when they are still there 4 hours later, without having moved an inch really... I sometimes wonder if they are actually trying to do their chores, or if they -deep in their heart, subconscioucly- have already embraced failure for that day, given up and aren't giving their hardest attempt to work. You need to work through those issues though,I appreciate that.
And I really don't mean to be insensitive to anyone's needs, but it needs to be a place that supports focus right? Not one to drag you down in the swamp of fear, overwhelming resistance, and more procrastination. Would be curious to hear views of others on that. I wonder if it would be better to have 1 chatbox to talk the core of your resistance out or to do preparation towards becoming ready for real work in a the space to sort your thoughts, and then another separate chatbox where you go when:
YOU HAVE ACTIVELY DECIDED TO GIVE YOUR ALL AND WORK. Where when you enter, you feel the VIBE of working people, the joy of successful bursting and feel stimulated to join!
Just thoughts out loud. The core remains though, if I were stronger and didn't have a problem, I wouldnt be so dependent on and sensitive to the 'mood' and content of the chatbox. I acknowledge that it is only my OWN FAULT that I don't get anywhere. I'm just... not strong enough to see all the procrastination and complaints for hours and remain determined.
I'm supposed to hand in my full dissertation draft Sunday night. I finished the literature review and it is 8000 words... Now working on interviews for analysis, but it's slow. I need to find back my flow or I won't make it for Sunday night.
I NEED TO DECIDE THAT I CAN MAKE IT AND VISUALISE THE END RESULT, Sunday night.
I need to find ways to remain strong despite the chatbox: possible solutions are to turn the chatbox off (help!! working on my own!?) or to stop reading what other people say (very hard) or to pretend i am my own burstbuddy.
Good luck, focus and determination to all.
Lavida to Wolke
I understand what you're saying Wolke, but I think maybe you could explore some codependency issues with this. It's not your responsibility to try to help people in the chatroom, nor is it fair to impose one particular way of processing through. "We admitted we were powerless over others and that our lives had become unmanageable" is the first step of Codependents Anonymous ... I am sorry that you are not happy with my progress, but it's not dependent on how well you cheer me on, though I've appreciated the support very much. I think from now on I will request that I do not get feedback from others unless I explicitly ask for it.
If pro wants to ban me from the chatbox because I'm too negative or not using it the right way, then she's more than welcome. But now I don't feel comfortable using the chatbox either. One thing I do know is that I'm not responsible for anyone's progress or lack of progress, in the chatbox or elsewhere.
I feel like I'm being judged on how much of "my all" I'm giving, when that is no one's place to judge but my own, because I am the only one who knows why I procrastinate and what progress looks like to me. Just because I'm not using the chatbox your way does NOT mean that I am not trying to work. I've tried my hardest, and I don't think it's fair to judge those of us who really are trying but still failing. That kind of perfectionism doesn't work for me. I am sorry you feel so affected by others but I feel this is a codependency issue that is worth looking into.
You'll be happy to know that I'm taking a break from posting in the chatbox because the last thing I need right now is to be further judged on my supposed lack of progress.
If you need to control the vibe of the chatbox -- then you always are free to open up a new tab/room to create that for you and others who desire it.
Lavida
Wolke to Lavida
Hey Lavida,
It sounds from your message like you have taken my post as a personal attack. I am sorry it came across as such. That's really not what I meant, I actually tried to raise it as my problem - like you say, co-dependency perhaps?
I am truly sorry you feel judged by me, that was not my intention. I needed to vent on how the chatbox can become an obstacle for me sometimes rather than an aid/tool. I really did not have you specifically in mind, I think you and i have in fact worked together more often successfully than unsuccessfully.
You actually give me a perfect solution to my problem in your last sentence, I should make a tab of my own if I need to see more encouraging posts rather then ones that might distract me.
Please, please Lavida: I would like to ask you kindly to accept my apologies for making you feel judged and to reconsider your choice to 'stay away'. - The chatbox is YOUR TOOL too, and you need it for a reason. Don't let my problem, become an obstacle in your progress.
I'd really just like to shake hands, agree that we got to know each other's preferences better, and both keep giving our 100% (w/e that may look like depending on the individual) in Starbucks/McDonalds/libraries etc.
Best of luck and focus with your work. Honestly hope to see you again soon in chatbox. If you like we can have a quick private chat to set things right.
Wishing you 5 articles per day!!!
Best,
Wolke
Thesis to Wolke and anyone else
Hey Wolke, I totally get what you are saying! In fact, I agree with you 100% and have thought these very thoughts before. I also seem to only get going if some people I know are in the chatbox and this dependence is not really great for me. Especially considering I was going at it for 2 weeks in a row by myself when I first started posting on this site. Oh well, i think its about decicding not to use the internet and sticking by it which will help me. The negative talk/'working through' is not that great i feel too, especially if it doesnt lead to anything positive after that or even asking people around whether they want to work together something on, even that step, that hand which asks for help is better than nothing.
EDIT - I actually didnt mean to be so negative myself in the last one sentence. What Lavida posted is also true I guess. Different people work at different rates and have their own troubles, and I should not be judging them for what they or what they don't do. So I am sorry and I take back what I said. It helps though to take hands and work together coz after all isnt this what this community is about? :)
It's 7am here, I got in by 6.45 instead of 6am! lol :) Im still impressed with myself..haha. Wow Sunday night. Cant beleieveyou are so close to the end. You can do it Wolke!
2/3-10 Successfully time binging and loving it! Wolke
I am working at least 13 hours a day and loving it.
Holiday to the sun next week and making the most out of having a goal to work towards!!! :D
Congrats!
Wow congrats Wolke! :) That's awesome work! I want to emulate you. I really do!
Thesis (and others) feel free to join in the flow!
Hey there, I'm just really lucky to be in a determined flow i guess.
Feel free to join in work and make it awesome for you too!
Awesome!
What's your secret? :) Cause I've rarely been able to do that, even with the lure of a guilt free holiday. I haven't had a holiday without work hanging over me in years!
Thank you Mole and jack :)
I appreciate the support. 8000 words written now.... :D
@wolke
Fantastic!
Wow, well done Wolke!
Glad to hear about your progress! It'll be good to have a guilt free holiday in the sun after you've achieved what you've planned!!
27-9 Stop beating myself up, it only breaks me!
So I failed the deadline. And I failed the new deadline too. And I'm keeping my supervisor waiting for documents and messing up her agenda.
And for what? Because I'm terrified to not-be-good-enough, and despise myself for being intelligent enough to recognise the fault, yet so stupid that I'm not able to fix it: adjust the thought pattern. work constructively and positively. Not dissapoint those around me.
Today my self-hatred reached a new level and today I am also objecting to that and demanding that I treat myself better. Beating myself up leads to me breaking under frustration. Breaking is not helpful for progress.
I admit that this is my big challenge. THIS is my problem and 'addiction' born out of fear of failure/imperfection. It is ok to have a problem as long as we try to work on it, with the capability we have at that time. Well. I'm broken at the moment, so taking space and trying again tomorrow. "Courage" rather then dwelling in misery.
Pffff... My partner helped me come up with a fresh plan of attack for tomorrow. Now I need to give my brain a break, compassion and energy to continue in the morning.
Goodnight my friends. I am off to email my supervisor I have messed up again.
Never too late to change
never too late
Ohhh I know how you feel... but great that you recognize how unhelpful that is and that you have the resolve to forgive and move forward.
Can you hand in part of your thesis, whatever is done? That might satisfy your supervisor for a bit and alleviate some guilt.
Good luck focusing and progressing tomorrow! You can do it!
Thank you getting.unstuck. :)
You are very very kind.
I am handing in on Monday I promised now.
This is actually already only part of my thesis (literature review).
I just got up (noon, late I know), and I'm not tired but ready for work. If I work successfully my guilt will subside. Thank you for your suggestion though, but we're only allowed to hand in once, so if i did that the rest of the chapter would not receive feedback... I appreciate your thoughts though.
Thank you,
a fresh Wolke
Aw thanks Wolke :) I'm
Aw thanks Wolke :)
I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only grad student with the difficulties and feelings I've had, so I try to help when I recognize them in someone else. You are very kind as well and amazingly encouraging!
I'm a bit confused about where you're at though.... so you can only get one round of feedback on anything you write before you submit the final version? And now you're doing the lit review, to be handed in for feedback soon? I see you listed methods, results and conclusions above. Where are you at with them?
24-9 The day ain't over yet!
Today was very hard. I've tried to work for a long time (well, all day from 8ish in the morning till 6pm) but feel like I didn't get very far. My chapter that I wanted to focus on has hardly developed. I read a lot though... I guess.
I think fear got the better of me. I just hope that if I take some distance now and attend my kick-ass sports class I will be feeling better after. I'm thinking about coming back after and working, but unsure how I'll feel then and if it's wisest to work into the night or rather to get up early and try again tomorrow.
- Will see how I feel. Very disappointed in myself, although that's not going to help me either. Will try to improve my positive attitude and fighting spirit in the next 4 hours till I'm at home. Why d*mnit am I so incapable. Oh yeah. I'm human. Grrrrr...