Introduction - I'm marcreed and I'm a compulsive procrastinator
I'm marcreed and I've been procrastinating I think since the age of 7-8.
My parents were always demanding and later in my life I've found that it was impossible to live up to their expectations, so I gave up and started to defy them.
This defiance eventually somehow bloomed into its' current state of compulsive resistance towards things I should be doing but they involve some sort of discomfort.
I mostly have a problem with studying, however my basic intelligence got me through highchool but failed me at collage. I've dropped out.
I studied tourism and catering while I always wanted to study psychology. So I actaully rationalised my poor performance was the result of my disinterest, which is true to a degree, but now I am actually preparing to the admissions test to multiple universities where I applied to psychology. And I think I'm about to fail again.
I've found that i really can't get myself to study or even if I can (on my best days) I usually quit very soon. I'm about halfway prepared for this next exam and I'd need to be 80% prepared at least and the test is due within 2 days.
Anyways, I always have big plans and I also know what should be done, but I almost always fail to actually do what is necessary.
I'm actually feeling quite frustrated and hopeless about this whole procrastination thing.
When people give me advice about procrastination I always feel like as if I couldn't swim and the were telling something like just jump into the water.
I could get some results with the 12 steps a few weeks before. A friend of mine and me started to apply them to our procrastination and we experienced a major shift, however at step 8 both of us backed out and thus relapsed.
I really hope I could get this handled soon, even if I fail this next exam I still have to get this handled, I cannot live like this any longer.
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Thanks again for the support.
Now I actually procrastrinate dealing with procrastination... crazy...
Anyway, could somebody help me throught the 12 steps?
Good luck, Marcreed!
Sounds so familiar.. You're not alone :) Good luck, Marcreed!
In a strange way I envy the insight at a relatively young age it took more a lot longer to realize it. Anyway I have found some of the tools very helpful when I use them.
Do It Now
progress not prefection
What my goal is and what I'm doing now
Thanks everyone for the tons of encouragement, I really appreciate it.
My goal is to (if possible) remove this resistance from my psyche, so when I'm working on projects I won't feel as though I'm driving with the handbreaks on.
What I can progress with now is a concept I heared from AA: I only have to stop procrastinating the next time the urge arises. (I only have to say no to the first drink)
Plus I am stopping myself when I get going with my studies to avoid disappointment, so I progress in very small steps. (this is something I read here)
Now, I'M going to check out this chatbox thingie.
Thanks again for the support :)
Hi Marcreed, just to let you know that I'm the same boat concerning careers: I have been several years studying history (finishing -or trying to finish- a master in that field now) and I've realised very recently that this is not my true vocation, so I'm as well changing to philosophy when I'm done this master this year. I've also applied to a university abroad to study so, and even only the paperwork took me some work to complete. I have the hope that when I start studying what I truly want, my procrastination will at least be reduced in some level, and I'm optimistic in that sense. That said, I have found the application procedures hard to keep up with even if it's for the career I do want, but I've managed so far with the help of the chatbox, and with telling myself "I don't need to finish the whole studying or the whole paperwork today, what is the tiniest thing i CAN do right now?" If it is filling out a form, or finding a book, or gathering documents or writing one line of an email, I'll do that, always stating my small progress in the chatbox and using a timer (5 minute, 1 minute sometimes if i'm too demotivated or frozen)and well, it has helped. The fact that you've decided to pursue your real career dream is already an amazing step. Congrats and keep up with your efforts with the help of PA ;)
re: an4ever & macreed
an4ever: ah, microbursting. my tried and true tool. I am thrilled that it helped you, and that you too macreed are making progress. Your progress confirms that there's Hope for me too!
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
Thank you guys, I'll look
Thank you guys, I'll look through the suggested material.
I actually tried to change the languaging and it works. :)
I somewhat feel motivated towards studying so I'll try to sit down and study, if that fails well I look around here.
Yesterday I actually couldn't sleep and got so fed up with this compulsion that I actually surrendered all to God (I'm sort of spiritual) and today I feel a lot calmer and more relaxed and hopeful, I hope it will last.
Thanks guys fur the support :)
that is so funny--because i was just at the 12-step phone meeting tonight telling those very supportive folks how i do not know if i could do step 8.
I have recently committed myself to going thru the 12 steps. We're starting that on the Sun night meeting. It's a god-send for me.
I totally understand how you feel. What you describe sounds like the "powerless" of step 1. That is something i felt like i had to admit for myself as well.
In addition to movingalong's excellent resources, if you have 2 days to study, i would recommend going to the chatbox as soon as you can. There's ppl there 24x7. Procrastination know no time zone. And start "bursting" with those folks. They're all compulsive procrastinators working thru their issues, and this bursting really helps us fight the disease and forces us to get things done. And if you fail a burst, as many do often, there's just another burst coming up you can join.
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
@marcreed re: resistance
Hello and welcome!
Regarding "resistance", yes you've come to the right place!
Read more about "Demand Resistance" here:
First read this:
and then read this:
There is also an entire chapter on it in this book
But you don't need to read the book to recover.
Many of us have found that we are even resistant to our own plans!
One thing we've found helpful is to
disregard "I have to", "I must", "I need to".
And sometimes even ignore the idea of "I want to".
What helps a lot is rephrasing it as "I choose to".
Welcome to P.A.!
Some people on this website work the 12Steps, and others do not.
We are all anonymous and all recovering from procrastination, and all supportive of one another.
Of course Step 8 would feel overwhelming. It's a "project" and we all feel panicky about projects.
There is a 12step telephone meeting where we work the steps of PA together, supporting one another. More info here:
If you are outside the USA, you might be able to get some sort of telephone plan to call in with.
If that's not feasable, you could try our Sunday chatbox 12step meeting. More info on that here: