Friday May 4th 2012

Please do not leave advice or feedback.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

Thank you so much for your prompt.  Really like it.

I'm really working on my appeaerance. There are several things I think I can do to insure this:

* shoot for 7-8 hours of sleep per night

* avoid skin-picking. Checkin to OSPA whenever possible

* use clarifying or anti-acne lotion when I have breakouts

* continue with the schedule of working out for at last 30 minutes per day, even if it's just a small walk, it counts

* take showers at night, b/c it lightens up my mornings and helps me to stay well

* use the stairs when possible, except when to do so will inder my schedule

* use hair gel whenever I leave the house

And then for my sense of confidence, I want to work on:

* be on time

* be prepared

* brush my teeth and floss daily

* don't crash on the couch at night

someone posted about missing a meeting and that got me thinking.

i used to miss meetings at work regularly, and i ran out of excuses. I could tell people got that impression of me that, you never know if he's going to show up or not.

well... as one of the by products of working the program in this fellowship, i hardly ever miss a meeting. I have not tried specifically to make meetings, i'm just "at work" when the meeting starts much more often than before. In fact, almost always.

So the other day a missed a meeting. And habitually, i started searching my mind for an excuse. In the past, i had used up all my excuses, so there really was nothing i could say. but now i realized this group of people has not ever seen me miss a meeting. What?! So my excuse--whatever it was that prevented me from being in the meeting, even if it was "woops, i forgot" was in the NORMAL range. It was the OCCASIONAL lapse, rather than the REGULAR LAPSE. Still, not something i am proud of. There are certainly people at work who never miss meetings, who never forget. So i might be on the lower end of normal, but it's still NORMAL.

So i'm like someone with a disease who because of medication is mostly asymptomatic.

i was encouraged to write this today because of our many recent ( and sure to be future ) new people. Like me when i was new, people want to know, does it work? Can people recover? And even, "will i ever be able to change this!" ( Oh! how i remember those laments! )

I'm not "cured", but i am "better".

what beautiful, striking, and appropriate picture chickadee

Morning 

• 15 min online 
• 5 min clean-up 
• Breakfast/Shower 
• DD drop off 
  
• 10 min clean-up 
• Steam/Laundry/Trash/Mail 
• DXL, Target, Avengers 
• 10 min clean-up 

Afternoon 

• Exercise: 30 min 
• 10 min clean-up 
• Exam: 1 hour – LR – 3 blog posts 
• CS 101: lectures 
• Research: clean up files – 2001/2005/2007 

Evening 

• T - e-mail response 
• Dinner 
• Research: 1 hour 
• Exam: 4 hours (LG and KR (finish up) - unrealistic expectations 
• CS 101: Read lectures, take quizzes - turned in late  ; next batch - due May 8th
• READ: 1 hour (Kindle) 

Research: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4107

Exam: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4108

Work & prospects

1. 2 hours - 10 to noon on DM letter

2. 1 hour - noon to 1 - research 10 names for DM letter

3. lunch -1/2 hour

4. misc - 1 hour - email IS, send out elert, write notice for volunteers, call clinic, call city hall re invoice, email Rob, call Pat

Afternoon - 3 pm to 5 pm - DM prospecting

5 - run

6 - dinner

7 - Wednesday event write-up

9 - 10 - recycle, wash dishes

Before bed - Wash work shirt 

Thanks Chick for starting :)

I've been stressing over the same old stuff and running round in ever-more tired circles, I NEED to start using this program and the tools, not just have an alert on my phone that reminds me to 'post to P-A' but actually make the effort (action leads to motivation, yes?) to DO SO. 

Already done: morning HP prayer, walked dogs, ate breakfast.

• make soda bread
• get to meeting in time
• find out if I'm due at the osteopath
• do a 'crisis cleaning' session. 15 minutes right now before I start baking...
• read for research ('ten minute plays' and improvisation techniques) 
• walk dogs again
• go to bed early!

As I seem to be bent on self-destruction lately, the key thing must be to start treating myself lovingly: so tonight, clean sheets on the bed and vacuum the floor. Quick tidy-ups of the worst spots. Writing my Step Three. Reflect and be grateful. Turn off the computer, switch off the phone.

5.20 pm

Didn't check in earlier today because I was feeling so low about how I was doing. This has not been a very good week, I have lapsed into playing games and reading fiction when I planned to be working, and have slept in after late nights.

Thanks to the chat box, I did get some things done today and do feel a bit better. 'Motivation follows action' - hard to comprehend when I am stuck, but proves true again.

Thank you all for being here.