Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Wednesday 25 April 2012
Letting go of perfectionism
Present in the present moment
I can take a step
Courage Serenity Wisdom
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SJ
It's been a while since I checked in. Seriously struggling with depression.
Here are my goals:
* Read 130 pages
* Answer 40 emails
* My dinner for hubby
If I can do that, I will be happy.
SJ
"What if there was a place that was safe enough where the worst of me
could be known and I would discover that I would be loved more, not
less, in the telling of it? ...Fresh trusting of love trumps old shame.
Always. Here
marcelor check-in
up, showered and dressed by 8taxesno c or id sites before 18
start with 15 minutes on avh
email H
email re coaching
Daily checkin
I admit I am powerless against compulsive procrastination.
Todo:
Finish set F for EG
Start work on project S
Answer mail of AR
Wed - tila
Morning
15 min onlineBreakfast/Shower/Steam/Laundry/Trash5 min clean-upTrike-A-Thon form + checkDD Drop offResearch: 2 hours + 5 min- Bills to pay – SF, E -Edu
Calls: UPS, dentistAfternoon
DD Pick Up/Drop OffResearch: 30 min (35 min)DD Pick UpResearch: 1 hourEvening
Research: 3 hoursExam: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4108
Research: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4107
kromer 9:20 CI
First thing I need to do today is image slides.
When that's done I'll check in and figure out a plan for the rest of the day.
Update 11am:
Imaging is done!
Now, today is a fairly busy day, but I can get through my stuff I think.
I have a mtg to go to 1-3 (going to this now)
I need to plow through a bunch of tiny things (most of these are 10 min or less):
*Clean bench
*Update nb (will do this soon)
*Wrap slides (will do this soon)
*Wash samps and submit (will do this soon)
*Check on expts
*
Mail*
Thesis comm emails*
Email CC and PR*
Text TH and email ST*Rara/g order
(working on this now)
*
Conf regAnd I need to do some bigger work tasks:
*Appreciation day calls + email pastor about it
*Expt corrections for R8, S8
*S3 analysis (working on this now)
*Email re r8, email JW
*Microburst more careful analysis
*Count 1/2 (working on this now)
*
Help SS w/RAI'd really like to go grocery shopping as well, but I'm not sure that will happen
Agnus ci
Been up since 4:30 am working on catch up - my hours were dramatically cut three weeks ago, so I was doing pretty well on time management, lol!. Then a sudden proposal opportunity showed up, the same week as a contract closeout - so I am in semi-panic mode. I admit I am powerless over procrastination and one symptom is that I panic when anything looks like it might take more than a few simple steps.
The thought of working a full 40-hour week throws me into panic - in fact, more than about 30 hours of work feels very stressful - egads, how did I ever manage 60 hour weeks back in the day? Is compulsive procrastination progressive? I was diagnosed at age 58 with ADD/ADHD and the literature says that tightly enforced schedules and routines often help such folks achieve success, so maybe that's how I did it. But I also think I damaged some adrenal-response mechanism by staying on red-alert status most of the time, and that might make my problems worse as I age. I'm interested if anyone has thoughts or research resources to share along these lines.
Speaking of folks my age, has anyone heard from Rexroth lately? Missing his posts.
I've been negligent about daily posting so hoping to re-establish at least that routine. Today I have responsiblities to the proposal, the closeout, and one other work task for Proj C to complete. I also need to order my thoughts around a healthcare issue, and about Project B which closes out Monday.
"My boundaries enclose a pleasant land." Psalm 16
clement ci - letting go
well, this morning was a huge "letting go". Not so much perfectionism in the details, or of quality of product, but of unrealistic goals, which is another type of perfectionism.
I had decided to put in overtime this week to get some tasks done at work. With boss's knowledge and approval. I was very motivated...and invested, i realized...in getting these things done.
I was very "invested." As i write this i realize that was the key part. The part that tripped me up.
So what happened is that 3 more hi prio tasks came up mon-tue this week, and one of the tasks on the list took 1 day longer than expected.
So last night, tue, i was faced with the fact that my whole overtime week would be expended doing these new tasks and i would get likely none, at most a few, of those tasks i was invested in done.
--This is where my old behavior, my lower self, my disease, would have directed me to distraction, escape, because i could not face giving up the tasks i was invested in.
But God came to my rescue, as he always does. He is always willing to help me, and always comes thru for me. I love God because he is so good to me, and because he loves me when i least deserve it.
I re-read "clement's bookmarks." Those selected verses move the focus from myself and my problems back onto God. They remind me of his goodness, his promises. The encourage me to yield my whole life to Him and trust him, no matter my circumstances. And that is a new perspective that is extremely healthy for me in terms of absorbing adversity.
May His name be praised!
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
For today: release perfectionism & become your true dream self
Step Six is often worded as:
"were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character".
That wording feels somewhat awkward for me ...
I found the following reading with a more UPLIFTING interpretation:
-- quote from "Voices of Recovery"
(an Overeaters Anonymous daily reader),
page 216 (the reading for August 3rd)
"Shortcomings" are ...
where we "fall short" of who we truly are.
For me, Step Six is about being ready to let those blocks go!
-
Michaelangelo's Step 6
The story goes that someone asked Michaelangelo how he sculpted such a perfect David, his marble masterpiece, even to the blue vein across the back of a knee. And the sculptor replied, "I went to the quarry, found the marble, and carved away all that was not David."
"My boundaries enclose a pleasant land." Psalm 16
@Agnus re: Michaelangelo's Step 6
The quote I heard went:
Yet further research agrees with this being the story of sculpting David, not an angel.
Apparently Michaelangelo was feeling that he was setting free an angel from the stone whilst he was sculpting David. Or something like that.
Either way, it's a marvelous story.
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Widener15.html
http://www.amazon.com/The-Angel-Inside-Michelangelos-Following/dp/0385521022
I'd heard this (in whatever version) before ...
but I hadn't connected it with Step Six until you pointed it out.
Thanks so much!
This will give me a vivid image to remember!
My Day Today
I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.
I want to thank chickadee for starting this trend.
Things I will do today
1. Go to the 5:45 a.m. telephone ACA meeting2. Take shower3. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting4. Go to the 7:30 a.m. telephone PA meeting5. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone PA meeting6. Go to the 9:30 a.m. telephone PA check-in
7. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA activity line8. Cook and eat breakfast9. Get dressed10. Go to the 12 noon telephone ACA meeting11. Go to the 1 p.m. telephone OA meeting12. Warm up and eat lunch13. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone CLA meeting14. Fix my dinner15. Go to work at 5:30 p.m.16. Eat dinner17. Go to the rest of the 11 p.m. telephone ACA meeting
18. Inject insullin
19. Wash dishes
Thanks for letting me share