Hi, newbie here - Cinderella
Hello, fellow procrastinators!
Wow. When I found out about this website the other day, I just... I don't even know how to describe it. I was actually looking for "is procrastination an addiction" on Google when I found it. It must have been 4 AM and I couldn't sleep, nor could I do anything productive of all the things I should have done by then - does this sound familiar to you? - and then I found this, I read some of the articles and posts, and... Wow. I can't put into words the relief I felt when I realised I wasn't the only one who felt that way... Yet, at the same time, it felt incredibly sad to acknowledge that procrastination can be an addiction, a disease...
Anyways. Here's my story:
I've been a procrastinator for all my life -- which is not much, I suppose, as I'm fairly young. Still, I'm old enough to realise this is a problem.
I'm increasingly being unable to meet deadlines in just about any aspect of my life, from work to my personal life. I'm late for work, I overdue projects, I take too long to respond emails, I'm ALWAYS late. I go from days when I barely sleep to days when I oversleep and can't move from bed. Or I feel like I can't go to bed some nights and spend forever looking for stuff on the Internet...
On top of all of these traits, which I suppose are common to most of you, I binge eat. I somehow manage to avoid cooking as much as I can. I'm nowhere to keeping a healthy diet, cooking healthy food, etc. I can't manage to have breakfast, lunch and dinner every day at around the same time -- does this happen to someone else around here?? -- then I go through days when my body and my brain feel that I just have to bing eat whatever I can and as much as I can take. I feel like I shouldn't do it, then I do it, then I feel like crap. I tend to do it when no one is around because I don't want anyone to see me binge eat. That's how ashamed I feel about myself.
Whenever I try to explain any of these things to the people who surround me, all I get is "Come on, that's okay, we all do it, you just need discipline, it's no big deal". But I know it is a big deal!!! It is a big deal for me!!! I feel like I'm more and more disappointed in myself than I can take. I try to change, but I always get back to where I was. Where I am. Feeling helpless about myself.
You can't believe how much it means to me just to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.
Keep in touch,