Hi I'm new, and my little intro
Hello all, I'm glad to have found this forum, :)
Im a university student, going to graduate architecture school in a year. I've struggled with procrastination ever since I was a kid, but ever since I had some depression issues in high school, it has become worse and life-altering.
Last term, I purposefully took only a few easy classes so that I could focus on badly needed resume building activites - learning computer programs, applying for internships and getting portfolios ready, etc. Well, it turned out to be an enormous mistak. I found myself absolutely unable to handle the spare time, and fittered it away playing online computer games, sleeping, and genrally relaxing. I accomplished almost zero of my goals, and applied only half heartedly to a single internship out of many I could have. For a guy like me, with poor social skills and anxiety problems, such oppurtunities are hard to come by, and yet I blew it.
Even worse, and more disturbingly, I managed to do extremely pooorly in all my easy classes, having been lulled into a sense of ease by all the time available to me. I haven't gotten the grades back, but I am in dread.
Even as I type right now, I'm putting off long overdue jobs that I should be extremely thankful for getting. I'm too ashamed even to send an email explaining that I will be late yet again...
I'm sick of watching the hours turn to days turn to weeks, turn to years, as I wait "until later" to get my work, personal projects... anything, done. As I look back upon my 4 years of squandered potential in college, I am deeply ditressed and fear for my future. I have betrayed myself and my life.
If I don't do something soon, I will turn straight into a Neet, a parasite leeching off my parents hard-earned money.