4 months later...
I feel like there is this negative force in my life that tries to bring me down. Procrastination is it's right-hand man at accomplishing this task. Yesterday, I more than likely failed my second finance test because I haven't been studying as much as I needed to. It's not hard stuff... just not easy and requires the time I haven't been able to give it. Plus, I thought it was a week later than it was. Again, my failure to do a simple thing like look at the school schedule during the break or allocate my time during spring break to study. This isn't hard stuff. Whenever I let myself down or come up short due to my procrastination, I spiral into this depression and shut down a little inside. This makes me not want to do, or try hard at anything. I have a test in 6 days and I absolutely HAVE to study for it, and I really have nowhere else to turn to but this site. It was doing wonders for me, I got cocky and left, and now I have hit rock bottom once again. 6 days may seem like a long time, but not when you are trying to sudy code and figure out how to efficiently write it. I know some basics, but I have 6 days to get proficient. Can I do it? Yes. I am pretty good at code. Will I? That remains to be seen. In order to keep my mental sanity at this point, though, I honestly can't let myself down. This is me saying "I can't do this alone". I hereby, today, dedicate 5 hours to studying code.
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your situations rings very true to me. I have been in that exact state: "I really have nowhere else to turn to but this site. It was doing wonders for me, I got cocky and left, and now I have hit rock bottom once again."
Turns out someone posted today with the exact same issue as you and me: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4052
I also have had the downward spiral. Now i just accept that this is the way i am and i will have to manage it for the rest of my life. Sounds depressing, but it's better than letting it get the best of me and i have Hope in that. With God's help and strength and guidance and this fellowship and the tools, i do have Hope that i can manage it. And i have Hope for you to! :D
I wish you the absolute best with your studying.
This is an extremely non-judgemental bunch of people. We have all been there, so we know.
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb