March 18 -March 31 (14 days)
I'm going to look back a month from now and regret my choices if I continue this path I am living. I am going to look back a year from now and think to myself, " I could be thin, I could have more college credits done, and I could be closer to graduating." And a decade from now and think, "Oh my god... I'm 30 yrs old with hardly any accomplishments... I didn't finish med school like I promise I would.... "
The time is done to stop the stupidity that I am living, and live like a robot where the choices of procrastination doesn't exist. I have to go to work (day-job... not college) pretty soon, but I'll tell you what, I just procrastinated like the past 5 days.... I am procrastinating so much.... it's going to destroy my goals and lead me to a deep depression that I can control. At least, if I really force myself to control.
I'm not leaving March until I have test Math 3 and 4 done. Until I am a week-ahead in my writing course, and I am exactly where I am suppose to be in Economics. I'm going to lose at least 5 lbs by the end of the month (I'll check my weight tomorrow). It's all in my control. I am going to run for an hour a day as well.
Sleeping, food, and youtube, are all fun until I look at the clock and the hand is right back, instead of P.M it's A.M.
I promise to myself that I will get my goals accomplish. I promise to this internet, forum, and everyone else. If I can't keep this promise, then I am a horrible human being who can't keep her word.
As a reward if I can kill my procrastination, I am going to get that piercing I always wanted. More closer to June though.
I am lucky that my life isn't completely fixable, but that's because I am still young, I didn't do the "stupid" things that some people do, and I manage to come up with the goods. But I'm barely living... I'm just living. This life should be so wonderful, living the dream... my problems are very little.... I have to fix the music, and get to work.
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You're not a "horrible human being" if you're struggling with this.
Why not look at this like an addiction disease that you need help with? That doesn't make you bad or hopelessly inadequate.
If you had a medical issue such as diabetes, you'd need assistance, yes? You wouldn't be a horrible person. It's okay to ask us for support. It's okay to reach out!
Struggling with addictive/compulsive/chronic behavior patterns is very hard.
What makes you a BEAUTIFUL human being is that you are struggling to overcome this!
Whether you succeed or not, you are wanting to change.
You do care, or you wouldn't be writing here.
That feeling of being unable to stop oneself from avoiding/procrastinating ... is a state within yourself that you're observing. But ... despite that, you DO care, or you wouldn't be at PA.
Please do give yourself a hug for being here!
And know that we all care about you!
I'm so letting myself
I'm so letting myself go...
like Christina Aguilera, but I am starting today.
"Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the only cash you have, so spend it wisely."