Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

New here, just checking in.

Hi,

I stumbled upon the site searching on ways how to beat procrastination...
I used to be driven, motivated and inspired. Now, maybe just driven... but driven totally by fear... Fear of failure and of my perfectionism.

I feel like my life is crumbling and I won't be able to hold it together any longer. I just can't seem to get on track and only act on things when it's almost too late. I keep ending up doing things that are unimportant other than those I am supposed to do.
I really don't know what to do and there is a lot more to it.

So simple of things or tasks, yet I keep putting everything off or just can't finish. It wasn't this way before, but it keeps getting worse.

Everyday I go to work, I just keep trying to get to 6PM when I get off. Then, I tell myself I'll do better tomorrow and get my work done, do what I'm being paid for. But the next day, the same cycle happens and I just keep putting off the critical things I need to do, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. I'm lucky to have been able to BS my way out of things up to now but cracks are showing and I am not able to cope with the burden I placed upon myself.

In my rented room, you'd see how much of a mess is in here. I set a goal to organize, get rid of things, but I never get anything done.

Anyway, I am out looking for any help I can get. And hopefully, be able to help others in the same plight.

Nice to meet you all...

Bojo

another welcome for bojo

So glad you made it here too, bojo. you sound like one of us! That wonderful feeling, of no longer needing to be alone with my compulsive procrastination and its awful fear-guilt-shame cycle, was the first thing that attracted me to PA.

Some days it is all I can do to show up, but if I can at least make myself do that every day, it's like I've finally drawn a line in the sand against my dis-ease: "I'll backslide this far but no farther!"  At least I know if I show up here every day, I'll keep seeing/reading the truth: I have a disease, there is a solution, and I never have to be alone again.

"My boundaries enclose a pleasant land." Psalm 16

Hope is here for us all

Hope is here for us all then. Thank you... if not for an accepting group of people such as you all in PA, then I am sure a lot more would be lost and not be able to crawl back. I really haven't done much after joining. But I have a few successful triumphs I am now more aware of. And despite still falling into the hole I always dig myself in, the prospect of hope and  seeing people who believe and got through all the guilt, despair and frustration keeps me sane and level-headed most of the time.

Regards,

Bojo

re: showing up

you and vic are the standard bearers for that.

i have to keep it in mind. drawing that line in the sand can be a life saver.

I have to guard against embarrassment. Say i wasted all day til 8pm. Thots that go thru my mind are: if i were to post at PA people there would think i'm even more of a loser. The will see my recovery is just a sham, and it's as bad as it's always been. Etc.

Now one REALY GOOD THING is that the people here are so non-judgemental. nobody would say or think any such thing, and when i'm in my right mind, i know that. People here know what it's like to be in that place. They relate and understand. But when i'm deep in the bowels of guilt, my own negative view colors everything else.

so it is a good reminder for me right now to re-assert to myself that this is a very good, safe, healthy place for me to confess the worst depths of my sin. Only good can results if i do this, never bad. Amen.

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks

well Bojo all I got to say

well Bojo all I got to say is it's time to change. Ha but good news, the face that you're here and wanting to change means that you more than likely will. But ahh I suggest you start with cleaning your room man and stop thinking about it so hard just get up and start start picking up the clothes, the trash, the papers, vaccuum sweep do what you gotta do and don't make it into rocket sciene. One thing you don't have to plan to much is cleaning in fact it can be one of the most mindless fun tasks ever I use it all the time to just relax. I start picking up things I do the laundry, I throw the trash out I make my bed fun simple stuff. And if it's huge just start now and do what you can then continue when you have time again. remember "messy bed, messy head"

now how bout that job of yours well you're gonna have to get on your a game and start changing just like you did here with this here cleaning your room. Just start taking bites out of it everyday. Stop being afraid, don't be afraid, forget being afraid. If your mind wants to be afraid and starts panicking because of all the hard work you gotta you tell it to shut up, you tell it "I'm in charge here I call the shots." The whole point is you gotta get in there and start doing the work early and proving to yourself it isn't as bad as your brain sets it out to be. You see our minds have this wonderful way of blowing things out of proportion, and making things seem so scary and anxiety provoking. It will fool you and make you believe that writing a report is as stressful as running from a lion. I swear the same autonomic response, why well because we didn't evolve to write papers, we evolved to eat, sleep and reproduce: there is no paper in that clause. In fact we stopped evolving a long time ago ever since we climbed to the top of the food chain there are no more selective pressures, we don't need to evolve we are evolutionarily privelaged thanks to mainly our strong grip and mastery of agriculture. 

 so what do I say this all this forget it man to hu ha with it all keep going I wish you the best sir. 

 

Well, I hear you man. Loud

Well, I hear you man. Loud and clear. I guess if no one else pushes me, then I have to take it upon myself to get going. Thanks for the push. Appreciate it. Messy bed, messy head should be a kicker of sorts when I need to get up and start doing what I need to do.

Regards,

Bojo

Hi Bojo, I can relate to what you wrote

I really can relate to what what your saying.

My apartment is such a mess that I won't have people over.

I have the same fear that people will start seeing through my B.S.

It has happened before to me and I lost a job.

I have started making list of what needs to be done. I use to try to keeping  it all in my head.

I leaned the trick is to do only one or two things on the list a day. Not try to do it all.

I admit just writting the list can feel overwhelming.

I am trying this for personal issues like cleaning my apartment and getting organized.I  a big box of papers and personal letters that need to be organized.

I am new to all this site  too.

Best wishes and good luck.

Thank you Richard. It helps

Thank you Richard. It helps to know that I am not alone in the struggles I face. It's just that when our struggles do happen and frustration sets in, we feel clobbered and backed down into a corner with nowhere to go eh?

I will try to follow what you all said and break tasks down to as little as possible to at least get it done and have some sense of achievement.

Regards,

Bojo

Welcome, Bojo!

Welcome, Bojo--you are in the right place! What you write about yourself sounds very familiar. We're all working on our individual variations of the same problem, and the support and understanding of others like ourselves does help!

Here are some things you might want to check out and try using:

  • Chatbox (click tab at top of screen): minute-to-minute supportive witnessing, company, inspiration, and companionship for getting started
  • Daily Check-In (look for today's date in "Active forum topics" box in upper right): good for setting daily goals and tracking how you do
  • The Tools at http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/files/PA_Tools.html : for me, these are the backbone of recovering--try one or all!
  • Meeting List (click tab at top of screen): info about various meetings that are available--some online, some by phone, and a few in person

Best wishes to you for wherever you need them, and welcome once again! 

@wrkinprogrss re: welcome

What a great intro to the site!   If you don't mind, I will bookmark this and refer new folks to it!

Jo 

Be confident.  Stay focused.   One thing at a time.

Thanks, Journey!

Thanks, Journey--it's fine with me if you bookmark and refer folks to this, or, heck, just cut-and-paste! No attribution required. :)

Thank you. I'll be checking

Thank you. I'll be checking the resources and hopefully get moving. I think this is a blessing for a lot of people. Just getting here gives me hope... hope that maybe things can change... slowly, but still change somehow.

Regards,

Bojo

Yes welcome bojo

yep slowly is the way its been for me. I know how you feel.

One thing to consider is that time binging--spending hours focused on one single task--can be the other side of the coin of procrastination. Some people come to this fellowship having always gotten by using time binging, and then when that stops working, they start procrastinating, and the problem shows more vividly. But it was always really lack of control over time decision making in both cases. Not sure if that applies to you.

I agree with wrkinprogress's tools. They seem to be the keys for the people in this fellowship. I rely on them. This is a great place, and every day i draw encoruagement from people working on their struggle to overcome their addiction to procrastination. I am encouraged even by you taking this big, first step!

And i wish you many more :D

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks

Definite weakness... time

Definite weakness... time binging, especially on the internet for me. But it is actually what got me here to this site.

It gets frustrating when you know what you're doing and know you can turn it around (well, because no one else can do it for you) but you just can't seem to make that decision... More so, act on it. I mean why can't I just stop? I just keep going and going KNOWING full well what I'm doing is taking away time from important tasks?

Thank you for the encouragement. 

Regards,

Bojo

re: why can't i just stop

o bojo you have hit a sensitive area for me. I wondered why i could not just stop for 30 years. I still do not know why. It still bugs me. Thanks to wisdom gained on this site and in prayer and bible reading i now believe that i should not spend so much time fretting about that question, wishing i could be different, trying to figure out the cause, sulking cuz i fail so often, and i have re-targeted to managing the disease. This is working. I am by no means "cured," but i know i'm better than i was and making progress. And for that, i am grateful.

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks