where to begin?
My name is Bill, and I'm a 40 year old male in Boston. I've wrestled with procrastination nearly all my life--since elementary school actually. It's escalated through the years and affected my psyche and my finances (I'm self-employed).
Outwardly I am a happy-go-lucky guy. But inwardly I'm a mess who can't seem to slay the 'dragon' that is procrastination. I walk around with constant guilt specifically because of my procrastination habits. I have countless projects (over 50) that have been dormant for years (years!). I have over 300 incomplete tasks on my to-do list logged. I'm in over my head with debt (way over my head).
The odd thing is, if you walked into my apartment and office, you'd think I'd have it all under control; everything is relatively neat and organized. I'm very good at organizing things. And yet I get myself stuck repeatedly on actually engaging with tasks…or avoid commitments entirely by doing something else (or nothing else) time after time.
I've lately come to see my procrastination as an addiction; my only vice, really (save for chocolate). I won't bore you with the underpinnings of it--just know that I know it's a form of "acting out."
My questions are: how can I use this site--this anonymous group--to aid in taking productive steps to making a move on my day-to-day life now? And how can I give back here, without having this site be another "escapist" form of procrastination in itself, as it's always so much easier to help someone else fix their problems vs. working on my own (irony at its finest).
I've read the articles here (brilliant!) and understand the concept of "book-ending." Now what? Do I post my day-to-day tasks here? Anxieties? Failures? Accomplishments? I'm fearful as I have so much to do that's behind, that's ahead, that's here. All now.
I guess my question really is: where do I begin?
Thanks for reading this,