Hello, my name is Adrian and I'm a Procrastinator.
[here endeth the cheese]
I'm at university at the moment and working (yeah, right!) towards my PhD. I have a dangerous habit of procrastination, which restricts itself mostly to my computer activity. I play computer games, look up picture blogs, webcomics, social networks, the lot. So much so that I'm not interested in doing any work on my computer, because I don't actually like sitting on a computer all day long - I'd much rather be out and about.
I've taken up hiking and climbing which is a fantastic past time and I can never get enough of it.
I've always liked computer games but really started filling up my time with them when I dropped out of a teacher training course in 2009 (I respect teachers for the work they do and shit they have to deal with, but I think they are given far too much responsibility. I also think that a 9 months professional training course is not suitable to train people into the profession). So I was unemployed and unhappy in a relationship. I've never really been able to appropriately deal with any kind of problem so instead I avoided things and instead played computergames. I still do. My brain has just got so used to the instant gratification (albeit temporary) that everything else just doesn't interest me anymore.
I read somewhere that this has something to do with the bio-chemistry of brain stimulation and that researchers have found out that computer games can induce in the brain the same hormones that hard drugs induce, which basically means that my brain is now constantly craving these hormones.
I keep trying to get my life & PhD back on track but it only ever takes a little knock to send me spiralling again. I have been battling with depression as well because parts of my life suck. Although I've learnt a great deal about the "functions" of depression it becomes very hard to keep reminding myself and to keep avoiding those dilemmas.
Depression is a catch-22, as is compulsion and I know this. But sometimes I feel that knowing this isn't even half the battle!
So here I am. Hello everyone. I know I'm not alone and many people go through the same, and by this I mean exactly the same, stuff, but it took me a long time to realise this.
I hope I can be a regular on this forum. I also really hope I can get this PhD on its way agian because, as a friend pointed out to me yesterday, "I have the chance to become a supervillain!" Not everyone gets to call themselves "Herr Doctor" and that's got to be worth something, right?
Anyways, I'll be around. I hope I can share my experience and learn from others'.
Adrian (a.k.a Helveticus)