I'm really struggling, and I need help...badly. For the past two years, I have had a tremendous battle with procrastination, especially when it comes to school. I think I've always been a person that puts things off, but it never became as pronounced as it did until these last two years. I was getting straight A's in the "easy" classes, despite my procrastination, because the work load was simply undemanding. So I thought, hey, I must be smart enough to take on more challenging classes, so I did. My course work was full...but I just wasn't doing as well as I had...and I'm not doubting my abilities, because I'm very much able, I just almost always distract myself with something else. I mean, at first, I thought it was just like any other feeling a person gets when he/she just isn't up to doing involved Calculus or Lit papers, but after reading some posts on this site, I recognize everything that I've been doing for the past two years. For instance, when there's a long, involved reasearch paper due, for which I have months to complete, I don't start freaking out until the week before its due, and then don't actually attempt it until two nights, or THE night before. On almost every assignment I have, I tell myself, "I'll do it after this." or "I'll just take a nap, and then finish." When people ask me, "Did you turn in that paper?" I'll lie and say, "It was a close one, but I got it done." When really, I've barely started, and then try to make up reasonable excuses for why its late. "I emailed it to you, why didn't you recieve it? Oh I must have messed up the address...I'll send it again." And then I'll rush home hoping an extra 24 hours will do the trick. Even though I've become more determined to beat this, it always seems to beat me. Its even affect timed tests, where I can't think of a word, or a perfect phrase, and I stop to think, or cross out for at least 1/2 my time, if not more. By the time I'm done, my whole paper is a mess of what looks like censor boxes, and inserts, even though my thoughts are often very complex, and very intelligent. My grades this year are even worse than the previous year, although I try harder. It's really frustrating, and gets me extremely depressed, making me feel like a failure, and that I don't even deserve to be in school. How do I cope with this? And even when I learn to cope, is this condition serious enough that I could explain it to those that will be judging my grades, and hope that they will allow me enough time to get control of this before they decide on my capabilities?
Please, someone answer soon, I'm lost...