I am new here, and I absolutely fascinated by this website, since almost everything I read speaks to (and of) me, somehow.
I am 27 years old and currently in the finishing touches of my bachelors degree. I have not always been a procrastinator, as I was a very good and very disciplined student in high-school. Just before my last year of high-school both of my parents died, and my sister and my grandmother had died within three years before that. Everything seems to have gone downhill from there. For nearly a year I was unable to do anything but mourn and get the financial chaos into some kind of order. I had assistance from my aunt, who, even though I am grateful to her, has a very bossy personality and pushed me into taking a fulltime course to get my highschool degree and some other things that simply overwhelmed me. She thought that that would prevent me from depression, when in reality I was long past that point.
I do not blame her for my current situation, but when thought about it, this was propably the trigger of what I found on this website as "demand-resistance." Needless to say, I failed the course, since I barely went there. I managed to pull myself out of the depression, enrolled in evening school and got a job during the day. I got my highschool diploma, despite procrastinating a lot, and am now in University studying Sociology, which really interests me.
I have procrastinated a lot during these three last years, and finished a lot of stuff cramming the night before the deadline. I even had to drop an exam or two, but I still managed to get more credits than needed. I think it was because I like the subjects overall. But now I have to write my bachelors paper. I never had any problem writing papers, so I don't know why exactly this is so hard to do, especially because I have the time pressure that usually gets me going. (In fact, I should have finished the paper day before yesterday, and I am not nearly done.) One reason might be, that I do not find the subject of my study very interesting, and the other that the professor pushed the subject on me. (demand-resistance again?) Also, I will have to organize three professors and take an exam before I am done, and the clock is ticking on that too. And I am planning to move to a different city and university, but if I do not finish my paper day-before-yesterday, I will not have my degree on time to do that. And even if, I don't know if I will have time enough to organize the move and an affordable apartment. And that really just makes me want to roll up on my bed and die. (Or distract myself with cleaning, watching TV and doing everything thats not THAT paper.)
I also get psychosomatic complaints, like pain in the neck, migraines and being unable to sleep. I have considered therapy, but it costs a lot of money I do not actually have. Has anybody tried that and did it help?