Wednesday 20th July 2011

Got started working late yesterday morning. I tried to make a plan to recover in the afternoon, but misjudged how long some things would take and had some unexpected interruptions. As a result, I gradually lost control of my evening work plan, and left work hours later than intended. This led to a late bedtime, difficulty getting up this morning, and another late start today.

Feeling down this morning. This business of always being behind in everything, be it work, bills, exercise, diet, sleep, or personal development, is very frustrating. Yet the anxiety and feelings of avoidance all of these things prompt in me, which I allay by procrastinating and distracting myself online, serve to keep me continually struggling to catch up. Ironically, when I do get caught up in one area, I don't quite know what to do with myself, and tend to dawdle until I am back in the situation I am most accustomed too, behind and breathless.

Well, I have no realistic plan to catch up today. All I can really do is plug away. I have to strongly resist the urge to procrastinate. I have to avoid self-recriminations which only make me feel worse about myself and more anxious about what remains undone. Finally, I have to develop a backbone when it comes to ending the workday. Feeling guilty about leaving at a reasonable hour sets me up to become more tired, less efficient, and definitely more unhappy as the week wears on. Trying in vain to decrease stress about work this way only creates stress in my non-work life, because things I need to attend to keep getting put off.

Goal 1: 11 AM-12 Noon: 30 minute blocks x 2

Did well with this

Goal 2: 12 Noon to 1 PM: Meeting

Meeting ran over until 1:15 PM

Goal 3: 1 - 1:30 PM: Lunch

Lunch 1:15 - 1:45 PM

Goal 4: 1:30 - 4:30 PM: 30 minute blocks x 6

Oops. Resolve faded, 1:45 - 2:45 PM email, news checking. 

Goal 5: 4:30 - 5 PM: Break

Goal 6: 5 - 7 PM: Work on old overdue cases

Goal 7: Leave shortly after 7 PM

Goal 8: 8-10 PM: Personal time

Goal 9: To bed shortly after 10 PM

Okay, off I go. Back to report.

Yesterday was a little better than Monday, but today I overslept and am having a hard time getting started.

For today I need to:
*collect sample
*Finish updating  records
*Email D w/ condolences, email about thesis comm
*Blood donation
*Orders, sol'ns
*Brainstorm paper figures (come up w/ 5 options and mock up at least 2)
*Shop and cook

Good morning!   I'm working from home today and my daughter is visiting . .. a dangerous combination.   I'm feeling a bit sluggish too although I have been out for a nice long walk/jog,   I'm jogging about half of the hour now . . . I'm increasing it VERY slowly and starting to think hey maybe I can actually become a jogger in my dotage.   I've always injured myself every time I tried to learn to run and ended up going back to the elliptical or the bike, but I actually love running.   If it's warm outside.   I'm not that big on going outside in the cold.

Anyway, I will probaly check in frequently today because I'm just not in the mood to work and I'll need the accountability.   I'm starting instant boss, and then I will complete my morning routine which includes making todo list.   First thing I want to get done is some research/documentation for the DR plan.   It won't be fun but it is a frog I need to eat.

Update 12:30 I've been in reactive mode all morning.   I started working on the frog above and then got called to join a 30 minute meeting in which I told them I was trying to work on gathering their info if they would just leave me the eff alone.   Of course I put it much more tactfully but I was quite annoyed.   Had another meeting about new project, then finished up the DR info and I am just now getting around to making my todo list for the rest of the day.   I will make it quick, no need to spend a lot of time planning, as I know what I need to do.

Jo

Avoiding the truth consumes great effort and energy. - Jim Loehr