Tuesday March 22nd, 2011

Hi Everyone,

Tough day. Went on a business trip out of town after getting 1 1/2 hours sleep the night before due to all the work that had to be done before I left. Between the flights, lack of sleep and stress I was exhausted this afternoon. Could take me 2 days to recover.  But it's a reminder why putting off these things and using the excitement of the trip to get a lot done is not a good idea - to say the least. 

 Reading #1

 The things we hate about ourselves aren't more real than things we like about ourselves.
—Ellen Goodman

It is so easy, and tempting, to get down on ourselves, to focus on an
imperfect face, a dismal batting average, our fear of math, or our big
feet. The trouble is, the more we feel sorry for ourselves, and the more
we have to feel sorry about. And though it probably doesn't hurt to
indulge in a little self-pity once in a while, how unfortunate--and
limiting--it can be to let those attitudes define us.

The things we hate about ourselves are no more real than the things we like
about ourselves. The trick is to dwell on the things we like instead of
those we don't. Even on days when we are sure we are the least loveable
creatures in the world, we can "act as if" we like ourselves. What a
surprise at the end of the day, to find out that we actually do!

What can I like about myself today?

From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families
©1985

Reading #2

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations

 MY BASICS: checking in; support calls(1x); affirmations; gratitudes; reading; check calendar AM; check calendar PM; listen to positive recording for 20 minutes;  write down my 6 most important tasks; voicemail; exercise; manage A; manage D; use master list; use timer; track time on sheet and/or iPhone application

Affirmations (said aloud as well):

I choose to show up and start my top 6 tasks, 15
to 30 minutes at a time. I complete my top 6 tasks -- in 15 to 30 minute
periods.I embrace the pain or feeling the pain while I do these tasks.

I know that if I have that old feeling of pain or
anxiety while I am working on my top 6 - I will embrace and love that
pain since it means that I am doing something important.

  And remember . . . if I am feeling
resistance or "shame" or "screwed up" or procrastinated at something
lately, it's probably just the Dynamics of Human Change doing its checks
& balances . . . I am going to keep going!

 
Rainy but lovely Thursday here in L.A.

 Warm wishes to all -- tracy-la

Please do not leave advice.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

This is the  64th day that I have followed through with the following:

I'm making a pledge to quit using the dating site(s) and Facebook for 90
days.  I had written this on my 43things account, but I wrote that I
wanted to avoid dating sites for a full six months, so I think 90 days
is reasonable for a dating site.  I also have a penchant for looking at
and stalking certain people repeatedly on the dating website and online,
which has prevented me from sanity.  Just all out stalking certain
people has been all out crazy; if I'm not stalking one person, it's
another person.   During times I've tried to quit the dating site
before, I have visited people's dating profiles, even while not
registered on the dating site.  So part of my whole thing with quitting
dating sites is also quitting stalking people's profiles that I've tried
to date in the past.  If I accidentally load a dating site, b/c I
accidentally clicked on something obviously that doesn't count.  You can
hardly hang a cat on the Internet without hitting a dating site ad. 
Intention is everything. 

In other words:

• 90 days away from dating sites and facebook
• 90 days of not stalking people's profiles of people I've tried to date in the past
• 90 days of not stalking people online that I've tried to date in
  the past. (I am now back on day 27 for this).
• No Internet chat, aside from employment or twelve-step.  This
  includes not stalking people on AIM or other chat networks, whom I've
  tried to date in the past.  I just want to take a step back and get
  sanity and focus on MYSELF. (I'm on day 1 
  of this.)
• 56 days of exercise:  All I need to do is exercise for 30 minutes a
  day: walking, swimming, hiking, biking, running, jogging, karate, yoga,
  a dance class.  Anything of those for at least 30 minutes.  And nothing
  else.  I can do the running plan, but I assure myself that each day
  that I show up to run, I will be okay, if all I do is ultimately choose
  to walk.  Whatever I feel comfortable with when I do. That way I don't
  intimidate myself.
  • on day 2 of this

9.36 am Wednesday

Thanks for getting us started Hypatia.

Yesterday was difficult. Even though I did quite a lot of what was on my list, I had some disappointments, then felt worse because I got into addictive reading, ate extra snacks and stayed up to 2 am, so then late start today.

Today I have to go to Melbourne for counselling so had planned to do some shopping beforehand. Now feel like I don't 'deserve' it. Well, I will try to deal with a few things before I go:

• insurance for J
• weeds seminar - post
• finish template if time
• leave 11 am

Great article in the New Yorker magazine on Barry Michels, L.A. Therapist for Blocked Screenwriters.

 Here is an excerpt:

By far the most common problem afflicting the writers in Michels’s
practice is procrastination, which he understands in terms of Jung’s
Father archetype. “They procrastinate because they have no external
authority figure demanding that they write,” he says. “Often I explain
to the patient that there is an authority figure he’s answerable
to, but it’s not human. It’s Time itself that’s passing inexorably.
That’s why they call it Father Time. Every time you procrastinate or
waste time, you’re defying this authority figure.”

Procrastination, he
says, is a “spurious form of immortality,” the ego’s way of claiming
that it has all the time in the world; writing, by extension, is a kind
of death. He gives procrastinators a tool he calls the Arbitrary Use of
Time Moment, which asks them to sit in front of their computers for a
fixed amount of time each day. “You say, ‘I’m surrendering myself to the
archetypal Father, Chronos,’ ” he says. ‘I’m surrendering to him
because he has hegemony over me.’ That submission activates something
inside someone. In the simplest terms, it gets people to get their ass
in the chair.” For the truly unproductive, he sets the initial period at
ten minutes—“an amount of time it would sort of embarrass them not to
be able to do.”

MY BASICS: checking in; support calls(1x); affirmations; gratitudes; reading; check calendar AM; check calendar PM; listen to positive recording for 20 minutes;  write down my 6 most important tasks; voicemail; exercise; manage A; manage D; use master list; use timer; track time on sheet and/or iPhone application

Affirmations (said aloud as well):

I choose to show up and start my top 6 tasks, 15 to 30 minutes at a time. I complete my top 6 tasks -- in 15 to 30 minute periods.I embrace the pain or feeling the pain while I do these tasks.

I know that if I have that old feeling of pain or anxiety while I am working on my top 6 - I will embrace and love that pain since it means that I am doing something important.

  And remember . . . if I am feeling resistance or "shame" or "screwed up" or procrastinated at something lately, it's probably just the Dynamics of Human Change doing its checks & balances . . . I am going to keep going!

 Terrific Tuesday to all here.

tracy-la

First time caller here. Giving this a go!

 Body:

Run this afternoon.

Mind:

Complete a section of the article I'm writing.

Start on data analysis sheets (at least set up template).

Soul:

Meditate

Walk on the beach.

Friends & Family:

Phone someone in recovery!

Where has the day gone?! Ackkkk! I went to be 1 measly hour late last night and it has made me feel tired and sick all day . . .

Today:
- class
- desk yoga (stretching exercised you can do at work)
- walking home
- physio
- early to bed

Having a tough time today. Didn't get as much done yesterday as I'd hoped, so I'mfeeling really behind.

So far, I've been to mtg and had a healthy lunch.

This afternoon I need to :
*Do emails (eucomm,teacher,AP day)
*Do orders (antibody, chuck, PK)
*Check on expts
*Start Aal/A1 plan
*Spec samples

Hello all!  I need to keep coming back.

• Troubleshooting flowcharts goal:  feedback from N. - nothing done
• Emails:  two
• Schedule:  Reorganize based on new priorities: Very Slow!

Just For Today, I must abstain from: surfing the web (especially news sites)(update: spent about 20 mins on CNN), and eating junk to “help” me face my work (update: ate a cheese danish).  I want to choose proactivity, which means checking in on this site when I need support, remembering to pray, and then getting back to it.  Proactivity also means making decisions and moving along, instead of getting stuck.  If I don't know what to do, I want to make a note and move on.  It is okay to enjoy other people in the context of productivity and very short personal interactions.

God, please help me to stay on task, to have the inner fortitude to do this work today without empty props and escapism.  I need Your strength because mine is not enough.  Help me to be useful to You and my fellows today.  Amen.   

"Why not get it done now?"  RexRoth

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

Things I have done today

1. Went to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting

2. Went to the 8:30 a.m. telephone PA meeting

Things I will do today

1. Go to the 9:30 a.m. telephone PA check-in

2. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA meeting

3. Go to the 10:30 a.m. telephone PA check-in

4. Take shower

5. Get dressed

6. Prayer and meditation morning and evening

7. Eat brunch

8. Eat dinner

9. Test blood sugar twice

10. Go to the Vocational group at 11 a.m.

11. Go to the Internship at 1 p.m.

12. Get my backpack cleaned up and organize stuff

13. Send Al-Anon e-mail for today

14. Finish Chapter 10

15. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

16. Go to the 9 p.m. online EA meeting

17. Go to the 9:30 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

18. Put clothes away

19. Make bed

20. Wash dishes

21. Clear off tables near and on the computer

22. Do numbers

23. Call my DA Sponsor

24. Call my NA Sponsor

Thanks for letting me share

Show up (done)

classes, son, etc.

pm- feel like a human being today because I was around other people. The cont. ed class had people I worked with in the past. The human connection changes everything. Basics, walk. MORE SNOW TONIGHT???UGH

Thanks H for starting the thread

Today I am home from work with my daughter who is ill. I have been postponing a few unpleasant phone calls for ages - put this morning I actually made three of those calls. One more to go. I feel quite nervous but I am trying to take one at a time.

Newspaper arrangements

Prepare unpleasant phone calls

Unpleasant phone call to A

Unpleasant phone call to P

Unpleasant phone call to A S

Unpleasant phone call to V

Phone grandmother

Report part 1

Report part 2

Report finish

Project planning TIPT

Create survey

Meditation and prayer

Running (at least 30 min)

No:

Unhealthy snacking

Distractions: Web sites, newspapers, radio etc.

Optional:

Writing the minutes

Reward:

Watching a half hour TV show with my daughter