Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Hello (I am a newcomer to PA) Appreciate Support
Hello:
I am very new - actually brand new to PA and am responding to the question about WHY I want (need) to join Procrastinators Anonymous (PA). Being from the Sacramento, CA area, there are no PA meetings here, so I found your website when I was looking on the Internet. I have never done any on-line "meetings" or anything like this before - on the computer, that is. I'm in 12-step recovery (sober in AA for over 27 years, and Al-Anon for over 21 years) and go to those "live persons" meetings. But as I say, I've never done any on-line meetings before.
Anyway, I feel like I'm doing a Step 1 (and probably Steps 2 and 3). As noted above, I am in Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon too, and know the steps work on those things so I have faith they can work on my problem here which is: I am a procrastinator and never knew what to call my problem in this regard. I am ALWAYS late to everything - appointments, jobs, job interviews, social engagements, meetings with friends, everything. I have lost jobs, friends and am afraid to even plan anything with anyone because I know I will be late. Because of losing jobs, it has also affected me financially, obviously. And I feel so bad being so inconsiderate (late) to employers, co-workers, friends, family members, etc. And also when I am late, I often am dishonest about why - I make up excuses why I am late such as: "I was stuck in traffic because of a car accident (when there was no car accident", and other excuses and lies. Or I will often just cancel or change appointments because I know I will be late or because I don't have the money to go because I have lost yet another job from my tardiness. I do get retirement income, but have tried other little jobs to supplement my income since my retirement is not enough each month. I have even lost lovers/partners because they cannot handle my "flakiness" or at least it made them very angry with me. I feel like such a "flake" because my behavior HAS been flaky. Yet ironically, I get mad at people who are late with me or show up late for something I invite them to.
I feel shame, sadness, frustration, depression, grief, hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, anger, disappointment, and fear because of this. I have really HIT BOTTOM with this behavior and feel totally powerless over it. I heard about "time debting" in Debtor's Anonymous (DA). DA has helped me with my $$ debting. Your program seems to really be much more in-depth about this issue of lateness and compulsive time-debting. I am a sober member of AA (27 years sober), and have also been in Al-Anon for over 20 years, and ACA. I have had therapy, hypnosis, positive affirmations, prayer, read books on the issue of lateness/time debting - everything I can think of, however, my lateness problem has gotten worse and I have much shame about it. I have finally "had it". I know I need help. I was looking on the Internet on the topic of compulsive lateness and the PA website popped up.
In reading about your program and the "Signs of Compulsive Procrastination", so many of the signs fit me, i.e.,
-"Regularly late for appointments";
-"Disappointment is a way of life; constantly disappointment people and ourselves by not keeping our promises";
-"We have a poor sense of time, chronically underestimating or overestimating how long a task will take to complete";
-"We have enormous difficulty organizing projects by breaking them down into steps; we don't know where to start, even when are willing to start";
-"We have enormous difficulty getting started on new projects, or transitioning from one project to another"., etc.
Anyway, from what I have read on your program's website, it seems/feels like your program could be very helpful to me and I am willing to try anything or DO anything, at this point. I am willing to go to any length and would appreciate any help and support offered. Also, I guess I should also look for a sponsor but not sure how to go about this.
'Sorry this is rather long but I am new to this and will try to keep my emails shorter from now on. It also helped me to write out my "problem" to really see the affects it has had on my life.
Thank you.
MelDesi
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(MelDesi)
Welcome! Many of us are in other 12 step programs, and I too take a step 1,2,3 every day. The only requirement for memebership is a desire to stop compulsively procrastinating. Keep coming back, you are not alone.
Welcome MelDesi
Welcome to this wonderful website.
I think this website and community can help you with your problem, like it has given me hope dealing with my own procrastination. Being here I know that I am not alone. And there are others who can share their experiences that will help me understand mine, and start to deal with my problems.
Best of luck to you, and we are here for you.
Hi fellow newcomer :)
I guess we are at least acknowledging we need help and are seeking it. A good starting point :)
Welcome
Please keep coming back. This is an understanding community. I read in a post somewhere on this site that they had overcome all types of addictions (drugs, alcohol, emotional) but that the procrastination addiction was the most difficult to work through.
Try checking in every day and posting your to do (or TA DA!) lists and using the chatbox to keep you accountable in the moment. It has been a great help to me.
welcome.
MelDesi Thank you lennon,
MelDesi
Thank you lennon, Crazybug, hope and others, for your emails and support (are they called "emails"? or "posts" or ??? ). I have seen a few posts from a number of you in PA and it's very helpful. I'm still learning how to navigate around on this website and chat room - I'm not very "techy" and I apologize that this email is a "repeat" thank you email to all of you. I've never done or been involved with a "chat room" or "chat box" or whatever this is...so I forgive my "un-techyness".
Anyway, I will work on getting better at participating on/with this, and will try to keep checking in each day, as suggested. This "proscratination" issue and recovery from it and PA seems like a foreign language to me (like AA and Al-Anon) were at first - but I am "teachable" and open to suggestions.
Thanks again!
MelDesi
MelDesi
Hello Meldesi
Welcome to Procrastinators Anonymous. This is a great program. There is a telephone meeting Monday through Friday at 7:30 and 8:30 for 15 minutes each. The number is 218-339-3600 access code 119655#. There are online meetings on Saturday and Sunday at 7:30 GMT or in American terms, 2:30 p.m. New York Time until March 13 and March 19 New York time when it starts Daylight Savings Time. Just go into the chatbox and press Meeting. You can even check-in on the Daily Check-in Forum and you can go into the chatbox anytime and check in.
Most of all Keep Coming Back
Welcome (((MelDesi)))
I relate a lot to your share. I have problems showing up. I try not to lie, but I do. I say I'm not feeling well. Am I depressed, yes, but still, I'm lying and feel badly about it. I have ruined so many relationships by not "showing up." That's why I'm on day 10 of showing up here and counting that as abstinence. I've also, luckily, showed up at work for 10 days straight too, but I can't count on that, but I can show up here, even if it is just to say hi and that's all I can do.
So happy you are here with us and looking forward to getting to know you.
♥"Careful the wish we make, wishes are children. Careful the path they take, wishes come true..." From "Children Will Listen," by Stephen Sondheim.♥
Thank You Hope (and Others Too)
MelDesi
Thank you for your email and support. I have seen a few posts from a number of you in PA and it's very helpful. I'm still learning how to navigate around on this website and chat room - I'm not very "techy"! So I will try to keep checking in each day like you suggested.
MelDesi