Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
New here and need support
I am so glad I found this site. I am a chronic procrastinator. Some times are worse than others. I am very troubled by my tendency to procrastinate and it makes me feel extremely ashamed of myself. I have never before considered myself lazy, but that word along with unmotivated describes me to a T now. I have always been a type A, a list maker, a goal-oriented person. I stress myself if I can't accomplish things. I find relaxing very hard to do. I try to relax, but if I have "stuff" to do, I can't relax until I get it done. I am always thinking, analyzing, multi-tasking and checking off my to do list.
I think this strong type A drive I have and inability to relax is why I am here now. I think I have done too much, stressed myself out too much in the past and have a very low tolerance for stress now. I am an all or none person. I don't do anything half-assed. If I can't do it to the best of my ability, I don't do it at all.
I've been through lots of stress in my life (as we all have). I've been a single mom and homeschooled my son while working full time. He's grown now, so now I am back in nursing school pursuing my master's degree. I still work full time and have remarried, so I have those stressors in addition to school and work. I just think with my personality, things that may not stress others or cause them little stress may cause me a LOT of stress. I don't know how to be any other way. I wish I wasn't so wound up, honestly.
My biggest problem right now is I am taking an Algebra class that I have to take this semester. I have put it off for as long as I can and I cannot progress to taking any more classes until I take this class. It's a self-paced course and I had been doing some of the Math practice until 2 weeks ago. I got stuck on an Algebra problem and it took me 2 hours to solve it. I literally put my head down on my table and cried I was so frustrated. Since that day, I haven't touched the Math. I always create diversions, distractions and excuses. Anything to not have to sit down and do more Math. The bottom line is I am afraid. I am afraid of the level of stress I experienced 2 weeks ago and I don't want to feel that way again. I tried to drop the class but it was too late to drop it without receiving an F. I think I am going to fail it anyway; there are only 3 weeks left in the semester and I am afraid I will not be able to get caught up at this point.
Can anyone relate to what I am saying? I think about this Math constantly. I can't enjoy anything b/c the Math is not going to go away. I won't be at peace until I just get it over with and do the Math. I start beating myself up and berating myself for being so lazy and unmotivated.
Just a few mins ago, I tried to sit down and do the Math. I started crying! Guess what I did? Got on this site instead of doing Math.
I feel like I'm weak and a coward. I've never been this way before (I've always procrastinated-but not to this extent). I always tackled my problems head-on for the most part. I've always considered myself a strong person. Maybe it's b/c I am getting older, but like I said earlier, my stress tolerance gets lower and lower every time I have a stressful thing happen. I sometimes feel like my reserves are empty when it comes to stress and there is nothing else left to tap into.
Any support or advice would be so helpful. I'd just like to know I am not alone and there are others like me!
- Login to post comments
Welcome Gamecockgirl
Good for you for joining us!
And no, you are NOT alone. No question.
Feel free to join us on the phone meetings. They are a wonderful way to connect with other procrastinators, and hear others share their experience, strength, and hope!
http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/meeting_lists#phone
Wishing you well in your recovery!
Yours in fellowship -
MC
"[People] need to be connected to each other. Courage comes out of relationship; it doesn’t come out of willpower." Peter Block, author of Servant Leadership: Choosing Service Over Self-Interest.
(gamecockgirl)
Sounds like me. Sometimes a workaholic and sometimes a compulsive procrastinator. I have 4 weeks left to meet a deadline on a huge task, and every time I sit down to work on it I feel huge demand resistance (see http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/184 ). I am way overdue on this task, and I get the feeling that this time the deadline is more serious; my boss expects something concrete to be delivered by Jan. 1. It helps that I only work on it during work hours; the rest of my time, I can let it go.
Admitting that I was stuck was important, and I received more grace than I expected. I can also ask for help from others. When it's time to work, all I have to do is open the files. Then all I have to do is find my place in the documents. Then I decide on a small, manageable task. At least that's the strategy I've been imperfectly following. Progress is slow, but I try to stay focused on today instead of thinking about the deadline. It will be what it is, and worry will not change that. I try to ignore the negative self-talk about what a loser I must be, because I know its not true. I am a capable, sensitive, intelligent woman who has a problem with procrastination. With God's help, I believe I can one day overcome this difficulty, if I am willing to do the spiritual work to get there. I don't know if any of that can help you; its just my experience. When I started PA a few weeks ago, I was in crisis mode. Today I feel calmer, even if my performance is not greatly improved yet. I see a little bit of progress.
I remember struggling with college math. Sometimes I just couldn't do a problem, and had to skip it. I often asked for extra help from the teacher (it was a small school and the profs were available). Yes, I understand the frustration. In some classes I was satisfied with a passing grade; in others, I cried if I didn't ace it. Go figure. But in those days, I was somehow able to bull through it. At this point in my life, not so much.
Are there resources to help you walk through the material, such as a tutor? If, for whatever reason, you cannot complete the course this semester, what is the worst that will happen? Can you take it again?
Breathe, and know that you are not alone. Welcome :)