Saturday November 13, 2010

MAJOR rebellion yesterday (especially last night)--left papers all over the place, didn't really get any of my tasks done, didn't exercise, ate mostly brownies, didn't make time to pray and stayed up web-surfing until 1:30 am. It's been a long time since I've done something like that and I'm a little scared that I still have it in me.

I think that maybe means I haven't been giving myself enough scheduled time off...so I took the morning to read, eat a healthy breakfast, sleep, etc. 

I'm going to go out with friends tonight, which will be nice.
For today, I want to re-group and also have some chance to relax.

One big thing I want to do is go shopping for some clothes. Virtually everything I own is from thrift stores and very worn, so I kind of look like c**p most of the time..I think I'd feel better about myself if I had something decent, and I can afford it.
I also want to organize my papers, in particular getting started on the pile of student papers from when I was teaching this spring. Most of that can go in the trash, I just haven't dealt with it.
If I have more time, I'dlike to add to D/T's doc and go through some papers on t. sep.

OK, to start I'll figure out what exactly I want to buy (and where I need to go for it), then I'll spend about an hour on papers, then I'll head out shopping. 

Thanks for starting today's thread lennon. Today I am not recovered from my illness but am getting better. I feel tired angry and generally grumpy and fed up.

Done:
Up prayer and reflection - in particular I gave thanks for all the good things in my life
Out briefly to get some food
Read through the file on my complaint to the hospital - I have a meeting with them on Monday and I feel very fed up over the whole thing - I have not been putting off the work but was not well enough to concentrate.
Tidied up and washed up
Watched a programme on my laptop

Todo:
Rest take it easy get better
Remember I am complaining about a delay in an operation and that in many parts of the world I would not have been able to have had the operation.

Thats it

Rexroth

Show up (done) Pray, graititude, do the next right thing.

Was prepared for a 7-8am garage sale with neighbor. It is almost 11 am and they are still sleeping. (he works until 2-3am) Since I have stuff in his garage, plus I never had a garage sale, I am waiting until he gets started. Now I am wondering if today was the day?

Oh well, goofed off on computer until now, and it did help me to organize yesterday even if today does not work out. Out for walk now. Check in later.

Well, it is 3pm and looks like my neighbor is still sleeping, so no garage sale today. Walked, is gorgeous and did other things Want to use the garage sale as an excuse not to do anything else, but need to switch to plan b.

Feeling so grateful today because yesterday I felt that I had no progress in pa. After just "showing up" all this time, I was feeling like maybe I would never get any better than that and anybody could show up. But yesterday I "followed through" regardless of my "state" of being and that was a miracle and testament to the program, progress not perfection.Thanks all for being here.

My Higher Power is awesome.  I'm glad for this resource to help me overcome a big coping mechanism and life-ruiner.   I'm going to start out small because I'm afraid of failure & I want to ease into this so I keep it up.

1. Do last night's dishes.

2. Find tomorrow's clothes for me and the kids while I'm finding today's clothes.

3. Shave my legs.

4. Finish writing an article that is due tomorrow.

Thank you all for being here.  It's nice to have a place of empathy.