Personal Anonymity

I made the mistake of telling people at work and online about my new support group for procrastination. I was so excited to find this resource, and wanted to let people know I had found a solution. Wish I could take it back.

I felt I owed my boss a reason to hope that my poor productivity would improve, along with an explanation for my sudden increased trips outside to talk on the phone. I thought coworkers would be supportive. Instead, I have been teased and put down. My job is not in jeopardy as a result, because my performance problems were already known. But I didn’t need to bring it to people’s attention. When I walk out the door with my phone, I wonder what they are thinking about me (sometimes they let me know). I have to keep reminding myself, what other people think of me is none of my business—I could drive myself crazy worrying about it.

I also posted about PA on an online forum for my hobby, asking if anyone else could relate and inviting any other compulsive procrastinators to try PA. I got several smart-alecky/humorous replies, and one angry and shaming reply from someone whose life has been negatively affected by a family member with this problem. No one expressed that they too have this debilitating kind of procrastination. Now I feel a little embarrassed to go back there (but I’ll get over it).

I also discovered that my spouse does not want to hear about my struggles with procrastination. He supports my time for attending the phone meetings, but has asked that I call someone else if I am struggling. He needs to maintain a healthy boundary for himself; I am thankful that he has the clarity to realize how destructive it could be for our relationship if I treated him like a PA member. His work is to accept the consequences of my behavior and set boundaries for himself, not to aid me in my recovery.

Now I know that if I am struggling with procrastination, I need to talk to someone who truly understands--another PA member.