Tuesday, Oct 12th, 2010

1. checking in showing up / reading material - done

2.  gratitude. grateful for my office, my employees, my clients, my coworkers, my skills, my assistant, fact I have bills to get out.

3.  check calendar - done.

4. plan to plan - done

5.   exercise - planned

6. Reading for day: 

Difference between true authentic guilt vs. piles of "shoulds" guilt. We can have regrets on how we could have done something differently or true authentic guilt which motivates change, teaches valuable lessons and brings us into a close relationship with ourselves, others and our Higher Power.

However, we pick on ourselves endlessly, heaping piles of "shoulds" on our conscience and creating mounds of worthless, stinking guilt. We constantly put ourselves in impossible situations where we have no choice but to feel bad about ourselves. We tell ourselves to do something even if it's unrealistic, and then feel bad about it.

If we have real guilt, we can make amends. We should not engage in a form of punishment to keep us feeling anxious, upset and stifled. We do not need to trap ourselves.  A few of us believe we cannot do anything right, but at the same time, we demand perfection of ourselves.  We put ourselves in impossible situations, then wonder why we can't get out.

Then we finish the job by shaming ourselves. We don't like what we do and we don't like who we are.   Fundamentally we think we "are not good enough." That's like saying to ourselves "God created in us a person totally inappropriate for life."

In this case, our low self-worth is frequently connected to much of what we do or don't do and it leads to many of our problems.

Beattie and other authorities believe that our low self-worth or self-hatred it tied into refusal to enjoy life, staying so busy we can't enjoy life, perfectionism, procrastination, heaping piles of guilt and uncertainty on ourselves, not allowing ourselves to enjoy or feel good about the things we do, and avoiding people who are good for us, etc.

We can find endless means of torturing ourselves: neglecting our needs, procrastinating, setting unrealistic deadlines or goals, competing with people. Part of this can be that we don't like ourselves and we're not going to let ourselves get any of the good stuff becaues we believe we don't deserve it.

We must stop torturing ourselves now. Right now, we can give ourselves a big emotional and mental hug. We are okay. It's wonderful to be who we are. Our thoughts are okay. Our feelings are appropriate. We're right where we're supposed to be at this moment. There is nothing wrong with us. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with us. If we've done wrongs or procrastinated on projects, papers, taxes, etc. that's okay. We were doing the best we could.  

Now we can have goals and things we are going to do to enhance our lives. But who we are right now is okay. In fact, procrastinators are some of the most loving, good-hearted, generous and concerned people i know. We've just allowed ourselves to be tricked into doing things that hurt us, and we're going to learn how to stop doing those things. But those tricks of procrastination are not our problems; they are not us. If we have one character defect that is abhorrent, it is the way we hate and pick on ourselves. that is simply not tolerable nor acceptable any longer. We can stop picking on ourselves for picking on ourselves. This habit is not our fault either, but it is our responsibility to learn to stop doing it.

We can cherish ourselves and our lives. We can nurture ourselves and love ourselves. We can accept our wonderful selves, without all our faults, foibles, strong points, weak points, feelings and everything else. It's the best thing we've got going for us. It's who we are are and who we were meant to be. And it's not a mistake. We are the greatest thing that will ever happen o us. Believe it. It makes life much easier.  

-- Quote for October 12 from Beattie book "language of letting go"

Being gentle with ourselves during process of adapting to change and loss.  We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect. We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. It is okay to accept ourselves and our changed needs during times of change and stress. We can surrender to the proess and trust that a new exciting energy is being created within us. 

 Have a great day everyone. We recovering procrastinators are NOT second class citizens. We can learn to stop procrastinating while we cherish ourselves.

Writing this out is very helpful to me since I need to remind myself of this daily for right now. tracy-la 

Good morning!  Yesterday was a holiday for me and I really needed it after having a long stressful night Saturday night.   I don't bounce back from those all-nighters like I used to when I was younger.  Weekends like that make me think about retiring from this career and doing something easier and less stressful.   I guess I'd be bored though.  

Anyway, I don't need to let the stress letdown lead me into procrastination.   I'll plan a reasonable amount of stuff to do today, realizing I'm still a bit tired and don't need to overdo it, but I still need to work on the things that are important.  I have a meeting at 10:30 but's it's a conference call and a multi-tasker, so I should be able to do my todo list during the call.   I'll be checking in pretty frequently today to keep me from drifting off today.

Jo

'You become what you think about most of the time.' - Brian Tracy

Had Monday off, so back to work this a.m.  I thought I could focus my PA attention on just my work life, but I'm seeing how P at home impacts my job.  Like when I freeze up in the evening unable to do a task, and then zone out on TV; I stay up too late and don't prep for the morning.  I need to practice these principles in ALL my affairs (not that I'm any good at these principles yet.)

The most accesible tool to me is just to start; just one tiny step.  So off I go to do the next right thing... 

 I would wish you all a productive day, but I think it is better to wish you (and me) a calm, choice-driven day of balance.

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank cherrypicker for starting this trend

Things I will do on Tuesday

1. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting

2. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone PA meeting

3. Eat breakfast

4. Go to see my Business Instructor (I heard from her)

5. Went to do business

6. Call a Social Security employee

7. Mail my Warranty

8. Mail my 7th Tradition

9. Prayer and meditation in the morning and evening

10. Make bed

11. Wash dishes

12. Cook and eat dinner

13. Clear the couch

14. Clear the table

15. Clear the floor

16. Declutter 1,000 e-mail

17. Put away clothes

18. Take shower

19. Get dressed

20. Get medicine sent to the doctor to refil.

Thanks for letting me share.