Wednesday 4 August 2010

Show up (done)   

Thank You PAfriends for your support. I did much grieving and as usual, the AA Big Book seemed to have my answers:“We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. “I made amends to my mother in law for any wrong I did years ago. She does not believe in a HP, had 2 miserable marriages, was jealous of my marriage, and believed my husband was obligated to put her before his family and children. There was nothing I could do to please her. We took her to England, moved her, took her out on holidays, even offered for her to move in with us. Maybe HP knew that and my trying to have things different would have been futile. I made written amends to the other  person. If they really wanted to make contact with me, they could have. There was nothing more I could have done.
  Some movies we rented had “ alternate endingings”. I thought I wish I could do that in real life, but since HP is the director, what is, is.The Big Book says:“If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson.”I am sorry and what I did was out of stupidity and/or use of substance of choice. Not that is an excuse, but I am sorry and I have written some amends that I want to take care of before it is too late with others. It still hurts, but I believe there is a HP because I am still showing up and that is a miracle. Thank you PA friends.  

scripture study

prayer

bills work

tax work

HP appts

Lefkoe work

check PNC bk

schedule trips to tmpl

training courses

practice vc

call BM

11:16 AM: Had a pretty good day yesterday keeping up with new work. In the end, did not get to the pending stuff. Today looks much more promising on that front, and my goal is to translate yesterday's thoughts into action. I won't set specific time and case goals because I think that is too rigid a framework for dealing with a wide variety of cases, some of which may require a couple of minutes. If I look at my day as broken into 20 minute increments, it closes my mind to trying to approach things on a more customized and nimble basis. In the past I have thought that a turtle approach is good. I still think that is what I have to do for the really long reports or workups, just to keep moving along steadily. But there has to be a different approach to small tasks which I am magnifying and thereby making them seem more difficult than they really are.

Goal 1: 20 minutes of computer signoff of reports that are basically done except for a quick typo scan. No reason these have to linger, other than disliking the editing.

Back to report.

11:53 AM: Made 7 overdue reports 'go away' from where they were languishing in my computer queue. 

Goal 2: 12 Noon-2 PM: 2 hours devoted to new work.

Back to report.

5:40 PM: Managed to work well until 2 PM, working on 4 case reports, which vary in terms of how much follow up remains, from just a quick typo scan to more extensive additional information. Had a meeting from 2 to 3 PM, then lost focus, as often happens to me after meetings. I have been feeling a little tired and under the weather today, which makes focusing harder. I only now decided to regroup, bookend, and try to get some more work done tonite.

Goal 3: 5:45-7:30 PM: 1 hour and 45 minutes working on short cases.

Back to report. 

What a beautiful starter, Lucky, thanks!  I worked diligently yesterday and though I did not accomplish my whole list, I feel much stronger today for having stayed with it. Thank you HP and PA! 

I realized this morning that my natural rhythms are not to be fought against, but rather consecrated to my Higher Power. This is big: My natural rhythm is to work 11am-7pm - which would rule out my sewing class (5-7 Weds) and mess up dinnertime on my f2f meeting nights (M&Th).  So I will pray for guidance about how to manage that, and trust it will come. 

For today, I had program time 6-8:30, personal/pet time 8:30-10:30, then check-in here (I often take too long to do this!).  Here is my plan du jour:

• Call AZ again
• folo up Mir call?
• ID staffing needs
• sked known delivs thru Nov
• lunch incl traction, stretch, weights (no reading while eating - this slows me down alot)
• work calendar and task list until 5
• sewing class 5-7
• dinner
• work 8-9
• 9pm turn off computer!
• 9:30 bed

Lovely thread starter Lucky!   Getting a late start this morning after working very late last night rebuilding a server that I was given incorrect specs for and had to be redone at the last minute . . . quite stressful!  So I slept in a bit this morning, then went to the gym and grocery store.   Now I have lots of work to do . . . back with a todo list shortly.

Update 10:45 still no todo list, but helped out a friend with a situation and I feel kinda good about that . . . back in 15 with completed todo list, and this time I mean it. 

Jo

'A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.' - Elbert Hubbard

Yesterday I was somewhat distracted by yet another offer to play music at a local venue. I did manage to get several important things done, but I skipped some others. (As I typed that I thought perhaps I should check email to see if another gig opportunity came through. Wouldn't you know, there was a new one in my email inbox. Crazy. I have always heard it was very difficult to get work as a musician. Apparently, it's not.) Anyway, here we go for Wednesday. Need to get lots done because I have kids this weekend:

Prep

• Get up at 7 a.m.(made it again! avoiding evening caffeine seems to help a lot)
• Coffee, paper, water plants
• Healthy breakfast
• Checkins

Morning 

• Sweep up grass
• Run
• Do four on CIO
• Call 2 on password

Afternoon

• Healthy lunch
• Send 1 query
• S/U 3 or so Food10 intvws
• Draft oldest blog sample

Evening

• Pub crawl
• Healthy dinner
• Bed by 11 p.m.

I want to work in some music practice in there somewhere. Afternoon, maybe? We'll see.

Later ... I got distracted by the interesting but unimportant task of sending out an email newsletter. Need to focus tomorrow better.

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the phone meetings, and my life.

Thing I have done

1. Went to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting

Things I will do today

1. Prayer and meditation

2. Read 12-Step literature

3. Fix and eat breakfast

4. Get dinner prepared

5. Take shower

6. Get dressed

7. Get my things ready to go.

8. Post some Al-Anon literature for next week.

9. Make bed

10. Wash dishes

11 Get sleep apnea stuff ready for tonight.

12. Go to the 8:30 telephone PA meeting.

13. Go to the 9:45 telephone CLA meeting

14. Go to the 10:30 12-Step group.

15. Go to library and print some papers.

16. Go to get my tuition paid

17. Get my books paid for.

18. Go to three hour class

19. Go to work.

That's all I have