Also new, looking for an accountability buddy
I am having a lot of trouble forcing myself to work on my dissertation and I do not have the luxury of time to waste. I have a defense date set, a job lined up, and my research lab is running out of money to pay me. In the past I have done well with daily goals and tracking my time expenditure, but now I am having trouble bringing myself to do that. Days have gone by where I have wasted time on the web all day long. Deadlines fly by and I look worse and worse in the eyes of my advisor and colleagues.
I know that I'm sabotaging myself and my levels of shame and anxiety keep rising every day, ironically making it harder and harder for me to get started on what I need to do and keep myself from indulging in distractions for the sake of immersing myself in an activity where I don't have to face my past and current failures.
I know that the best motivation would be intrinsic, and I go through spurts when I'm really focused and on point, but once I drift out of one of those periods I find it increasingly difficult to get back into them. I'm currently in a pretty bad spot focus-wise. I'm looking for someone to act as a mutual accountability buddy to help steer me back on track when I'm starting to drift like this.
I have browsed around the forum and seen some of the tools that people have found to help them. I think that these could help me, but I am looking for something a little more personal - i.e. someone who will call me out if I haven't checked-in, etc. Someone who is willing to look over my time logs on a daily basis and make sure that I'm continuing to track my time - and that I'm spending time on my top priority goals.
This would be a commitment, and I am of course willing to act as an accountability buddy for that person as well, in the capacity they think would work well for them. Anyone looking for a similar arrangement?