Procrastination problem is choking my life
Hi, my name's Stephen and I'm 16. I came across this site a few weeks back, but funnily enough, put off posting anything and putting it to any good use. At least I'm here now and making the first step to putting a stop to this horrible problem.
Going into high school, I was very studious, and would always put effort into my work, and get fairly decent marks in all subjects. I'd find it a chore to do homework, as most people do, but the fear of getting in trouble for not doing work would be motivation enough to get me started. The next year, things went pretty much the same, and I did quite well. But since last year, my problem with procrastination has escalated greatly. Ever since, I've found it incredibly daunting to do any homework or assignments. I'll get home from school, where I've just been 'working' for 6 hours, and want to blob out and relax for the remainder of the day. In the back of my mind, I know I have to make a start on my work, but I'll always end up wasting my time on the internet with the common "I'll do it later" attitude.
Whenever I had an assignment due the next day which I hadn't started, I'd always get this terrible feeling of guilt, and get quite depressed about the trouble I'd potentially get in, and the affect it would have on my grades. Now however, I no longer worry or stress over it. I see that as a good thing, in that it's one less thing to deal with, but it still hasn't sorted out my actual procrastination problem, and if anything, has made it worse because there's no awareness of the consequences, which leaves me with even less motivation to get started.
Today is the last day of our Autumn break here in NZ, and there is much work I haven't done. Tomorrow I have a History internal due, which I haven't started, and won't be able to finish in time, I have lines for my drama play I haven't bothered to learn, or even look at the script, there are two outstanding essays for my Classics class which I'm the only one not to have done, and the whole Odyssey book I haven't read, that everyone else has, and a huge Photography assignment that was due on the last day of term which I've barely started, and is expected to be handed in this friday, even though it won't be graded because of its lateness, otherwise I get in deep trouble with the dean.
Because of all this, I'll be getting bad grades in both attitude and course work, meaning my parents probably won't let me go on exchange next year to the States. And this is only school work, not to mention all the other things in my life I've put off like applying for jobs, getting my license, and all the other little chores in between. Yup, I'm screwed. And yet, I'm not worried in the slightest. Maybe that's just denial, and once things start getting really bad, I'll just crash and cave in with the stress of it all, which I can definitely see happening.
I realise that me coming on this site is a form of procrastination in itself, especially when I have such a large amount of work to do, but I felt a little overwhelmed, and thought I may aswell write this so it's all out of my system.
It's night time, I'm exhausted from an all night party I went to last night, and I have a ridiculous amount of work I haven't started yet. If I carry on this way, my life is just going to go downhill. I have potential, and dreams and aspirations, but I'm doing nothing in the short term to turn that into anything. I need help. Badly.