Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Lucky cold turkey

7 March, 2010 - 12:03pm - Lucky

Special Projects and Master Lists

I've been thinking a LOT about what it means to 'quit' procrastination. This means thinking a lot about what procrastination is - and what it's not.

Taking a break is not procrastination.

Changing my plans is not procrastination.

Not completing my tasklist is not procrastination.

Not following a rigid schedule is not procrastination.

Surfing the internet (or any other 'non-productive' activity) is not procrastination. Can be, but doesn't have to be.

Even putting something off until tomorrow is not procrastination (except in a strictly etymological sense!) It can be, but it can also be perfectly appropriate and sensible.

Procrastination is when I lose control of my use of time.

This isn't as straightforward as it seems. I suspect there are moments in every addiction where you feel absolutely in control as you deliberately and defiantly do the destructive thing. But then afterwards you say ruefully, 'I lost control'. That tantrum-throwing, 'I'M GOING TO BREAK EVERYTHING' feeling isn't being in control, it's being out of control. So part of quitting procrastination is learning to tell an 'in control' feeling from an 'out of control' one.

It's just occurred to me recently that if procrastination is a real addiction, it can be broken like a real addiction. If someone suffers from alcoholism they shouldn't just be trying to drink less alcohol, they should be trying to stop. Same with smoking, drugs, etc. And if they do stop, they'll experience a period of withdrawal and need to fight hard to get through it, and then the cravings will diminish and eventually all but disappear. They'll always be a 'recovering addict' and need to keep an eye on themselves so they don't relapse, but basically, they'll be fine and able to get on with their lives.

So I'm going to see if this applies to procrastination. I'm going to shift my focus from trying to do as much as possible to trying to procrastinate as little as possible, i.e. not at all. Taking it one day, or even one hour, at a time and treating it as a proper addiction where 'just one' moment of procrastination is as bad as 'just one' drink or cigarette. I'm sure there will be hiccups as I work out what is and isn't procrastination for me, but basically, yes, I'm aiming to quit cold turkey! (With the full knowledge that I'll always be a 'recovering addict' and probably always need this site :) )

I've been 'sober' for the past 24 hours, mostly by dint of giving myself tons of planned breaks. I find that when I'm really resisting a task, doing 5m task and 5m break and repeating that over and over again works really well. I've actually been more productive using that method than I was when I was trying to work every second - which means that I was procrastinating over half the time...

Do let me know your thoughts... naysayers are welcome but please be gentle with any criticism :)

task list is shrinking

clement - 1 Dec 2014 - 10:36pm

for my whole life, literally my whole entire life, every single task list i have ever made has grown and grown. Before PA and first few years of PA, until the last 2 years, i have always simply abandoned it, overwhelmed.

Last 2 years i have been sticking with it, and recording the number of postponed tasks.

Well...my postponed tasks peaked on 10/15/2014 at 492 tasks postponed (yes, it's electronic, so i can select them all and postpone one day in one step, otherwise...)

Now it has strunk to 457 (35 fewer tasks).

I write this for 2 reasons.

1. to encourage PA'ers to stick with it.

2. i need to avoid selfish pride. When i was computing the number of postponed tasks today i was hoping, i hope it's lower, oh i hope it's lower. That means i was thinking that if it's lower *I* am doing well. *I* deserve the credit. I was also too attached to earthly things--what if it wasn't lower?

Rather, i am God's project, and whether my postponed task number increases or decreases is all about what he's doing in my life. It's not success/failure, just one more thing i can turn over to Him to worry about. If i am successful, i can turn that over to God, cuz he made it happen in the first place after all. If i fail, that could very well be God saying i need to depend on him more, and me less, or not at all. Meanwhile, i can worship Him, revel in His love, yield my will to His, and leave my progress and success/failure up to Him.

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks

clement abstinence

clement - 10 Nov 2014 - 3:04pm

Yesterday, nov 8, 2014 marks 2 YEARS of ... "abstinence" for me.

At the time, i defined abstinence as attempting to have no unplanned time. ATTEMPTING, not succeeding. And for 2 years there have been days that i have not been on plan til 11pm, but there have been 0 days where i have not, eventually, returned to the plan.

I have changed the defn slightly to "returning to the plan".

I have considered, however, the following real abstinence Patterns that have developed in my life and helped greatly.

EDIT
We need a term for the opposite of abstinence. whereas abstinence is the 100% refraining from something, i believe i need the 100% DOING of some positive, helpful behaviors. They are like intentional compulsions. Instead of "never drink alcohol" it's "always make a to-do list". Inviolate rules, but affirmative ones, rather than prohibitive.

The term might be "non-negotiables".
END EDIT

1. morning routine (brush teeth, shower, shave, brush hair). This for me is 6 days a week. I give myself Sat off (except for brushing teeth).

2. to-do list. Abstinence: i put absolutely everything on the list. Well, actually, sometimes i dont, but it seems clear that i should put absolutely everything on the list. As in abstinence, perfection.

3. prioritize the to-do list.

4. make a PLAN from the prioritized to-do list every single day. I have done this at least 29/30 days a month. I rarely dont. Ironically, in the last week i have had 2 days which i skipped. 1 day i was working out in the yard, mulching the leaves, and putting down seed and winterizing fertilizer and it took 6 hours and i was rushing against sundown. The other day i was doing back invoices and i focused on it for hours and hours. That was the MIT but it was probably binge-working. But, looking back, it is healthier for me to make a plan from my to-do list every day, so i dont ever get out of the habit--just like an alcoholic should never drink.

EDIT
5. Time Logging. I log all my time every day. I dont think there has been 1 day in the last year that i have not at least time logged some of the day. That goes back to "returning to the plan". But i do think that, going forward, i should be perfectionistic about time logging. Not perfectionistic in getting every minute accurate--i have accepted estimating (which is VERY hard for me), but in terms of doing it every hour of every day, even if i dont feel like i "need" it.
END EDIT

6. PA fellowship. it was the phone meetings for a long time. and outreach calls. Lately it has been chat.

7. using timers. I use timers every day, one way or another. I think to be healthy i HAVE TO use them.

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks

no forumla...yet

clement - 28 Nov 2014 - 12:35am

I'm looking for the formula on how to recover from procrastination. I have not found it yet. For all the things that i have written here, that have helped, and definitely decreased procrastination in my life, i still have 2-, 4-, 6-, 10-hour binges of entirely off-plan escape.

Have i had an entire day of procrastination? Not sure, when i have the 10-hour binges it's hard to keep accurate track.

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks

non-neogtiables

clement - 23 Nov 2014 - 11:44pm

I need reminders that this is what i believe will help me.
I added 2 more.

1. morning routine (brush teeth, shower, shave, brush hair). This for me is 6 days a week. I give myself Sat off (except for brushing teeth).

3. prioritize the to-do list.

5. Time Logging. I log all my time every day. I dont think there has been 1 day in the last year that i have not at least time logged some of the day. That goes back to "returning to the plan". But i do think that, going forward, i should be perfectionistic about time logging. Not perfectionistic in getting every minute accurate--i have accepted estimating (which is VERY hard for me), but in terms of doing it every hour of every day, even if i dont feel like i "need" it.

6. PA fellowship. it was the phone meetings for a long time. and outreach calls. Lately it has been chat.

7. using timers. I use timers every day, one way or another. I think to be healthy i HAVE TO use them.

8. exercise 7 days a week (even if just 20 min walking on treadmill, or 1mile walk around the block)

9. 7 days a week Step 2 - trust that God loves me and delights in guiding me and is completey capable; Step 3 - surrender self-will to God.

10. Email is a huge trigger for procrastination. I read stuff and then more stuff, and then go off plan. Maybe for hours. So i will ONLY do email with PA chat and with a timer. 100% of the time. An inviolate rule form me. An abstinence.

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks

Clement

Lucky - 10 Nov 2014 - 7:39pm

Thank you so much for sharing, I am DEEPLY impressed and inspired by this.

I've been way off the rails for a while and trying to work out where to go from here - it might involve unplugging from technology a bit so I might not be on here as much, but you've given me a lot of food for thought <3

--
The ’3Ts’ aka ’Timed Task Tomorrow’ method - 3 questions before doing something online:
Is it Timed (set a timer)? Is it a Task? If it's a sudden impulse, can I act on it Tomorrow?

3T's question

clement - 3 Nov 2014 - 10:20am

in your 3T's what does the middle one, "Is it a TASK?" mean.

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks

A task for me means

Lucky - 10 Nov 2014 - 7:41pm

A task for me means something productive or something that has a purpose beyond entertainment. For instance, checking train times is a task, watching cartoons on YouTube isn't. There are grey areas though (notably when I decide I urgently need to research some problem I'm having on google - that seems like a task in the moment but it's actually a way of procrastinating, which is where setting a timer and/or doing it tomorrow are helpful.)

Lucky cold turkey Day 1

Lucky - 25 Oct 2014 - 11:22am

So here's where we've been over the last few days:

Wed: MY INTERNET HAS JUST BEEN CUT OFF AND I HAVE A COLD, SURELY NOBODY WOULD EXPECT ME NOT TO INDULGE IN DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR TODAY.

Thur: I feel I'd be better off not using pomos... Nope, still worse off like the past several times I tried it.

Fri: Basically fine again but had some trouble getting to bed.

Today: A bit of trouble getting up, then fine.

This was a shorter recovery period than the last crash, which I'm happy about (and my internet is back on!) I've done some thinking about how many pomos I want to be doing per day/week and what I want to do with them. I realised the amount I wanted to do was completely unrealistic, and even the 'bare bones version' I'm left with after repeatedly paring everything down feels like quite a lot! No wonder I was stuck.

I'm also trying out running 3 pomos together without breaks. It seems to help me keep going, but I need to remember to plan what I'm doing in ALL three before starting!

More work on going to bed and getting up is still needed - I've been making the last hour of my day 'wind down for bed time', which is a great idea IF you don't interpret it as 'procrastinate on getting ready for bed time'. More control here will lead to more control in the morning, I think.

Overall I'm doing amazingly better than I was before starting this cold turkey project, and part of me is thinking, 'Well, if I just stay at this level, I'll still be functional maybe 5 days a week, that's good enough.' But I know I won't really be happy with that. I can celebrate how far I've come, but I'm not going to settle for less than complete freedom.

Lucky procrastinated

Lucky - 21 Oct 2014 - 10:57am

I just 'had' to find out what was going on with some person on tumblr who I don't know at all. Thankfully I've managed to get myself back on here rather than having a huge spree, but the danger is now that I will think I 'got away with it' and hence can 'get away with it' again.

I really need to give myself clearer boundaries. Both times recently, when I've finally gone 'okay, I definitely procrastinated' it's been at the end of a long chain of 'did I procrastinate?' incidents.

Things that went wrong:

Eating a whole pack of wholemeal pitta bread and a bunch of grapes over the course of a few hours. This plays havoc with my blood sugar and when I started falling uncontrollably asleep I responded by eating MORE. OKAAAY, carbs for this recovering procrastinator are about like alcohol for a recovering smoker.

Cumulative mild sleep deprivation because I refused to accept that getting up for half an hour in the middle of the night to practise lucid dreaming = getting half an hour less sleep = needing to go to bed earlier or get up later. So one thing I can do is reset my alarms, adding a quarter hour at each end of the night. Doing that now.

Not following the guidelines I set for myself about having regular screen breaks and spiritual time while at the library.

Not making a 'tired at the library plan' before going to the library while tired.

Allowing myself to get in an ongoing situation where my neighbour spends every day hiding from the landlord in my flat and I spend every day in the library hiding from my neighbour. Need to tell her tomorrow will be the last day of this arrangement.

And the biggest one of all:

FUDGEY, FUDGEY, FUDGEY FUDGING!!!

I need clear boundaries!

I need clear boundaries!!

I need clear boundaries!!!

Lucky cold turkey Day 6

Lucky - 21 Oct 2014 - 12:57am

Yesterday evening was pretty rocky, possibly because I was tired from rising excellently to lots of challenges in the morning and early afternoon. First of all I got home and was too exhausted to focus, my 'getting home exhausted' plan didn't work because I fell asleep during spiritual time. I had a bit of a lie down, got up to find an incredible triple, almost quadruple rainbow outside my window at sunset, and was then wide awake and had a fantastic spiritual time.

I then got distracted by worrying about money (it looked as if a large refund would be taking a month to process, and I'd already earmarked the money for something I want NOOOWWW.) I let this completely destroy my focus and spent a lot of time flapping around 'waiting to feel better' before deciding to get proactive, make a couple of phone calls and find out exactly what was going on. I'll get the money in a week. Fine. By then there wasn't much of the day left.

I'm also noticing that I've really been very addicted to checking email. I tend not to think of it as a problem because it only takes 5-10 seconds to look, but I experimented yesterday with denying urges, and urges were EVERYWHERE and very insistent. Like I said, it does have a big impact on my stress, so I want to drastically reduce the number of checks per day.

I think I've created the perfect getting-up plan - alarms on my phone at 1-minute intervals for 10 mins, followed by an alarm clock going off in the bathroom :) I need to remember to take my phone, jacket and (if it's there) computer with me when I leave my bedroom, otherwise I'll want to go back for them and there's a bed in there :}

Another breakthrough was realising that it's possible to look at the quality of will as something positive that makes you feel good rather than miserable self-forcing. This came from noticing that I feel better when I stick to plan. I've been making up characters to embody the various qualities I want, and the character who embodies will has been oscillating between two possibilities, a masculine warrior type and a very disciplined and ladylike dancer, but both extremely serious to the point of needing to lighten up. Last night I thought, what about those ridiculously enthusiastic anime kids who punch the air and shout 'YOSH!!!' before beginning a minor task, and seem to be having huge fun exercising their will?

Speaking of which, in retrospect it wasn't necessary for me to find this picture...

I need an 'entering the

Lucky - 21 Oct 2014 - 5:38am

I need an 'entering the library plan' where I set the timer before I walk through the door, as otherwise I'm tending to wander round looking at books for an unspecified length of time and then have 'did I procrastinate?' It's fine to do that but I need to set a 5 or 15 min break timer for the purpose so I have clear boundaries.

I'm also going to try out a new 'coming home exhausted' plan - since it's usually mental not physical exhaustion, I'm going to try energising (sun salutations and a cold shower) rather than rest. I'm dissatisfied with how much rest it takes to get back to normal.

Of course, this means doing something challenging while mentally exhausted!!

Lucky cold turkey Day 5

Lucky - 20 Oct 2014 - 2:12am

I'm starting to realise that the more closely I stick to plan, the better I feel. Yesterday evening I had a challenging and exciting email conversation, and spent every spare moment obsessively checking for replies and re-reading what had already been said. I noticed my stress levels going up each time I glanced at email. I was transcribing an interview recently that said that media multitasking (checking email etc while working) raises stress levels because we view each interruption as a low-level threat - 'What's that in the bushes? What's that noise?' etc etc. So while I don't think a 5 or 10-second glance at email is an act of procrastination, it is a stress factor that makes you more likely to procrastinate.

Today will be another library day and I want to manage it better than last time - more structure, spiritual time, and time away from the screen. I'm also likely to be spending more time with my neighbour than usual, sorting out her housing situation, so I need to shield, shield, shield and keep my energy high.

Crisis planning - ideas?

Lucky - 19 Oct 2014 - 7:03am

One thing my cold turkey materials suggest is planning how to maintain your quit in a crisis.

I have a plan for everyday 'coming home exhausted' incidents:

Put hot water on

1 pomo reading

1 pomo spiritual time

1 pomo bath/shower time

I also need a 'being at the library and exhausted' plan. I can usually manage 1 pomo reading, 1 pomo spiritual time there too.

However, what about a 'the worst thing in the world just happened' plan? Suppose I'm emotionally devastated: how do I stay procrastination free?

(Warning, this might be triggery if you've recently been emotionally devastated!!)

Obviously, I wouldn't be thinking about my quit immediately, I'd be having a good cry first and wouldn't expect myself to do anything. Probably the first challenge in terms of procrastination would be getting to bed on time the first day, and getting up on time the morning after. Of course, 'on time' might be something very different from usual, and I'd probably need more sleep. I think the way to handle that would be phone support - asking someone to talk me through going to bed and call me to get me up. And it would need to be someone I could trust NOT to be sympathetic (as in no 'poor you' talk because I hate that - just practical support.)

I would also need a lot of 1:1 task support in the first days - I have a list of friends I can ask for this.

I'd need to cut down tasks to THE MINIMUM necessary - including letting myself off basic things like brushing teeth if that was the only way I was going to get myself to bed.

I'd need to prioritise food, sleep, spiritual time, and once I felt up to it, exercise (as all of those make a huge difference to me emotionally.)

Timers and planning would need to be given more importance, not less, because that would relieve me of constant decision-making with an overloaded brain. But I'd also give myself permission to change the plan at a moment's notice depending on how I was feeling.

I could delegate as many of my responsibilities as possible.

I'd need to send out an 'I am going through some stuff, I probably won't reply to emails for a while' message.

I'd need to proactively TELL people if I couldn't meet prior commitments - and if in doubt, err on the side of cancelling more things than necessary, rather than assume I'd manage.

Of course, I'd also need to use PA a lot, even if I was mostly off it by then!

Wow, that was actually really depressing, but needed... I think a lot of these ideas can also apply to the kind of crisis where you're extremely busy rather than extremely upset. Does anyone out there have any tips/thoughts on staying procrastination free in a crisis?

Hmm, re 'coming home

Lucky - 20 Oct 2014 - 9:54am

Hmm, re 'coming home exhausted plan' - baths help SO much I think it's best to put the water on before I leave and do that first.

Lucky cold turkey Day 4

Lucky - 19 Oct 2014 - 12:25am

Day 4!!!

Yesterday involved a lot of hiding out in the library feeling frazzled, resentful and guilty, so I thought it would be sensible not to push too hard and spent a lot of time reading, resting, letting myself be slow and basically doing what I wanted as long as it was somewhat productive (result: sloooow email composition.) This sounds very enlightened but actually, I felt quite anxious because I didn't know if I was doing enough or if I was about to fall over some invisible 'procrastination threshold'. I think the lesson here is that even if I'm resting, it's a lot more restful when it's timed, so I have clear boundaries.

Today I want to crack on and get a lot done, but I'm falling asleep at my computer right now so I may have another pomo of sleep first.

reasons to quit

katia11 - 18 Oct 2014 - 9:54am

I love your list! Very inspiring.

(did not comment below so you could edit it if you need)

OMG the "bursting for a pee" - I have totally done that!!! you made me laugh

@katia11

Lucky - 19 Oct 2014 - 12:05am

Thank you, really glad it inspired you (and made you laugh!) And thank you for not replying directly,that was very thoughtful <3

Lucky cold turkey Day 3

Lucky - 18 Oct 2014 - 12:52am

Yesterday went well, I worked out a nice, non-demanding routine for myself (online pomo, 5m break, spiritual pomo, 5m break, offline pomo, 15m break) and felt amazing as long as I stuck to it. However, in the evening I got obsessed with finishing a particular task and decided it could count for both spiritual and online pomos, resulting in me feeling frustrated and out of sorts and not getting all my list done. It was very noticeable that the more closely I stuck to the plan, the happier I was. Worth remembering! Overall yesterday was a triumph and I'm very pleased.

Today my neighbour is hiding out in my flat again after problems at home, so I'm probably going to head to the library once it opens at 9. I need to manage my energy and not let myself get too drained even if it means denying her all the chat time she wants.

Hmm, this 'not letting

Lucky - 18 Oct 2014 - 1:45am

Hmm, this 'not letting myself get too drained' could be going better!!! I need to make spiritual time a priority today even though it'll be a challenge to manage in the library. Not just sit on the computer all day.

Lucky's reasons to quit

Lucky - 17 Oct 2014 - 6:04am

The cold turkey materials I'm working through suggest listing your reasons to quit and keeping them where you can see them. Here goes.

1) For my own happiness

2) To serve the Light, to carry out my mission in life

3) To have more time and energy to support my best friend in her mission

4) To raise my energy, make the fastest possible sustainable spiritual progress

5) Stop letting people down

6) No more shame, guilt, and self-loathing

7) No more seeing myself as weak and helpless (hmm, I may be mixing up cause and effect here...)

8) No more embarrassment as I scurry in late

9) No more exhausting all-night procrastination marathons

10) No more fear of all those things I haven't dared to look at

11) More money!!!

12) A clean home that feels good to be in and safe to let others into

13) More time for things I ACTUALLY enjoy, rather than compulsive procrastination activities

14) Feel in charge, not pushed around by my compulsions

15) No more feeling unable to move and frozen in panic because I can't but I have to but I can't but I have to

16) No more hunger, dehydration, and bursting for a pee because I can't move even to meet my basic physical needs

17) No more living on completely inappropriate food because I can't make myself go to the shops

18) Always being clean, clean teeth, clean clothes. Not being afraid to go near people in case I smell.

19) No more assuming people judge me, expect little of me, and make allowances for me.

20) People relying on me, seeing me as responsible and trustworthy

21) No more being rude to a friend because I'm in a horrific mood after procrastinating

22) No more having this constant lump sitting on me draining my energy

23) No more wishing and waiting

24) No more being unable to be there for a friend because I have a deadline crisis because I procrastinated

25) No more forgetting things because I'm afraid to think about all the things I have to do

26) Can actually take exercise, get some muscles and feel so much better!

27) No more losing clients because I didn't deliver on time

28) Feeling that my word is worth something

29) MANY, MANY fewer reasons to panic

30) No more spending years thinking I'd like to do something but never doing it

31) No more holding back from offering my time or help because I don't trust myself to deliver

32) No more wrecking my energy and attention span with endless hours online that I don't even enjoy

33) Help and inspire others with the same problem!

[EDIT: Haha, look at 8! I'm not changing that :)]

The ’3Ts’ aka ’Timed Task Tomorrow’ method - 3 questions before doing something online:
Is it Timed (set a timer)? Is it a Task? If it's a sudden impulse, can I act on it Tomorrow?

Lucky cold turkey Day 2 I SAID DAY 2 :D

Lucky - 17 Oct 2014 - 3:46am

NOT ONLY did I make it through yesterday (with lots of reading cold turkey materials, so it wasn't a really productive day, but I didn't procrastinate) but this morning I woke up to a client having a transcribing emergency, got up and transcribed 40 mins of audio (about 160 mins of work) before 9.30 am!

Today I'm not sure if I'm going to be in or out, so my CI needs to reflect that. I also need to resist the urge to make elaborate and demanding plans!

Lucky cold turkey Day 1

Lucky - 16 Oct 2014 - 6:48am

Yes, it's Day 1 again, and this time for the last time! I don't care if I look a fool saying this again.

Actually, I do care. I feel ashamed and humiliated, and I have all sorts of negative beliefs coming up about how all I'm doing is to discourage people and prove that it can't be done. BUT NEVERTHELESS, today is Day 1, today I quit procrastination for the last time!

I'm not going to bother elaborating on how I relapsed this time, because there's only ever one reason for relapse: I let go of the concept of addiction and procrastinated for one minute. Today I'm going to give myself a very easy day with lots of reading cold turkey materials and only one priority: one hour at a time, no procrastination today!

Lucky cold turkey Day 1

Lucky - 15 Oct 2014 - 5:19am

Yesterday went great right up until bedtime, when I made the mistake of expecting myself to go to bed at 10pm after a) exciting things happening until 9.30 pm, and b) having been up till at least midnight the previous few nights. Of course, I wasn't even slightly ready to go to sleep, but instead of acknowledging this I was like, 'TODAY IS A PROCRASTINATION-FREE DAY AND THEREFORE BEDTIME IS 10PM, THE END'...and I ended up procrastinating on going to bed!

So then I also ended up procrastinating on getting up because I hadn't had enough sleep. This was hilarious actually. I dreamed there were two 'me's and they had a conversation something like this:

Me 1: You have to wake up, come on, stop dreaming!

Me 2: But I have to get rid of all these raspberry petit four cases first...

Me 1: THEY WON'T BE THERE WHEN YOU WAKE UP!

So I woke up thinking that I'd 'ruined the day already' and started looking at the internet. I was really lucky in fact that my neighbour (actually my neighbour's homeless girlfriend who lives with him) texted me needing a place to hide out from the landlord for the day. I get exhausted and panicky around her (or anyone really) so decided to give her the run of my flat for the day and go and work in the library. This is great because I have a big transcribing job to do that would probably have turned into epic procrastination doom and falling off the caffeine wagon if I'd stayed at home, but working in the library will help me focus.

I should add that I've stayed off all my other bad habits (caffeine, sugar, picking and the 4th one that I'm not even going to tell you about) this whole time since Sept 31st!

A nice comment by RisingUp reminded me of the 3Ts method in my .sig, which I'd mostly forgotten about despite it being my .sig... I'm now using that to help with my internet use.

This is it, today is the 15th October, no more stops and starts. I'm doing this, cold turkey, now, for real!

It's going to be a challenging time because my neighbour may need to hide in my flat during the day for several more days, but quitting at challenging times is the best because it gives you resilience. I might find an article on that later.

Kids are singing nursery rhymes in the library near me. Songs from the last time in my life when I was procrastination free. It feels like a good omen. :)

Lucky cold turkey Day 1

Lucky - 14 Oct 2014 - 1:58am

UGH it feels so good to be back here after almost 3 solid days of procrastination. I wasn't even doing anything I enjoyed with the time. I still feel a bit low but HEY, I'M MOVING!

Edited another piece of stop smoking literature that I think is very relevant to my situation - 'The lucky ones get hooked':

'NEVER PROCRASTINATE ANOTHER MINUTE! Even though this sentence consists of four simple words, some ex-procrastinators have a hard time understanding the true meaning of this most-important concept. These are the unfortunate procrastinators who make the tragic experiment of trying a minute of procrastination to see how they will react. There are two possible outcomes to procrastinating for a minute. First, and most likely, the ex-procrastinator will become hooked and return to his old level of procrastination, usually within a matter of days. The other possible reaction is that he does not get hooked. In the long run, he will truly be the greatest loser.

'The ex-procrastinator who gets hooked from the first minute will have learned a valuable lesson. If he ever quits again, he will have a good chance of long term success, for he knows from his own experience that he cannot ever procrastinate for one minute without going right back to his old level. He knows that he is not depriving himself of one minute, but rather doing himself a great favor by not procrastinating the amount that he used to when addicted to procrastination.

'On the other hand, the ex-procrastinator who procrastinates for a minute and doesn't get hooked gets a false sense of confidence. He thinks he can have a minute of procrastination any time he wants and not get hooked. Usually, within a short period of time sneaking a minute here and there, he will become hooked. One day he too may try to quit and actually succeed. He may quit for a week, month, or even years. But always in the back of his mind he feels, "I know I can have one if I really want to. After all, I did it last time and didn't get hooked right away." One day, at a party or under stress or just out of boredom he will try one again. Maybe this time he will get hooked, maybe not. But you can be sure that there will be a next time. Eventually he will become hooked again.

'This poor person will go through a life of perpetual relapses. On procrastination and off, on and off. Each time he goes back, he will have to quit once again. And you know what that means - going through the two-week withdrawal process over and over again. You hated going through it once. Think what it would be like to go through it three, four or even more times. One participant did it thirteen times, others eight and nine times each. If they had just become hooked the first time they procrastinated for one minute, it might never have happened again.

'The first minute of procrastination is a no-win situation. There is little doubt that it will result in your returning to a powerful and life addiction. Consider the full ramifications of once again becoming addicted to procrastination. The health consequences, the expense, the social stigma, the sense of failure [I didn't have to edit this bit at all!!] and the prospects of once again having to go through the withdrawal process when you once again try to quit. Keep all this in mind and remember - NEVER PROCRASTINATE ANOTHER MINUTE!'

I crashed and have been

Lucky - 13 Oct 2014 - 5:13pm

I crashed and have been procrastinating for days. One thing I hadn't anticipated (which didn't happen last time I tried this experiment) was that I felt too ashamed to seek support on PA because that would mean admitting that I let everybody down. Now I write this down it seems like the most ridiculously twisted, 'this is your brain on low self-esteem' negative thinking. And yet I still can't quite face the chatbox just yet!

I was crashing like this every 1-2 weeks anyway, so I don't think it's because of the cold turkey. I think it was partly triggered by my earlier 'little slip off the wagon' (all addictive behaviour leads to bingeing), partly by insufficient breaks in my routine (take one day off a week?) and partly by letting someone stay in my flat way after I'd run out of energy to deal with them. I also need to remember that there really can't be any 'quick looks at the internet'!

Funnily enough, it was rainbows that got me out of my slump again, specifically the lyric:

You are my rainbow; you've colored my life
And you are my sunshine; I'm warm in your light
You are my fountain that never runs dry
You're my inspiration, my reason to try

I think I officially have a rainbow thing going on!

Right now it's 11pm and I seriously need food, I'm trying to decide whether to go all the way to the supermarket at this hour or just to the corner shop, and thinking probably the latter, so here I go. Day 1 tomorrow!

-- The ’3Ts’ aka ’Timed Task Tomorrow’ method - 3 questions before doing something online:
Is it Timed (set a timer)? Is it a Task? If it's a sudden impulse, can I act on it Tomorrow?

Lucky cold turkey Day 1

Lucky - 11 Oct 2014 - 3:03am

Yesterday I handled an exhausting day really well right up to the point where I procrastinated on going to bed. This is a known issue when I'm exhausted and it requires a Getting To Bed When I'm Exhausted Plan!

* If I'm hungry, I'll get something quick to eat in bed.

* No need to do/finish any tasks.

* No internet.

* If there's a hyper-urgent task that's truly worth risking a full relapse and all the consequences of a full relapse, I'll get support while doing it. (Chatbox for online tasks, voxer for offline.)

* I'll do my best to arrange my time so there are no hyper-urgent tasks to be done at bedtime when I'm exhausted!

* I don't have to get changed or brush my teeth. Those things are very important and should normally be done every night, but they aren't as important as staying procrastination free.

* I'll sleep with my phone by my feet, not by my head.

Compassion says: No matter what happened yesterday, it's temporary, it doesn't define me, and it doesn't say anything bad about me. I completely and utterly forgive myself.

Laughter says: THAT FEELING WHEN YOU'RE TOO TIRED TO GO TO BED

Positive thinking says: I did so many things yesterday that were strong, positive, and awesome, I'll focus on those. Yesterday wasn't a 'relapse day', it was a revelation day! I had no idea I could handle people that well. And now that I have a plan, I know I can handle that little bedtime situation next time, too.

Will says: There are no justifiable relapses!

High energy says: Today is the first full day of a new stage of my life, in more ways than one. I'm going to notice its sacredness.

Lucky cold turkey Day 1

Lucky - 10 Oct 2014 - 2:36am

Because OF COURSE I'm jumping right back into it...

Today I have a busy, people-filled day with little opportunity to procrastinate even if I wanted to, so the main challenge is going to be getting to bed without any 'too tired to go to bed' situations!

Compassion says: No matter what happened yesterday, it's temporary, it doesn't define me, and it doesn't say anything bad about me. I completely and utterly forgive myself. This time I'll go easier on myself and not plan such challenging routines, because the most important challenge is to stay procrastination free.

Laughter says: Let's remember we're just avoiding looking at websites here, we're not trying to blow up the Death Star or throw the Ring into the fires of Mount Doom!

Positive thinking says: I went 9 days, that was amazing! This time, I'm going forever. I can absolutely do this, in fact I can't wait! I feel so much better being procrastination free. What a relief! Everything I do can be enjoyed... everything I do contains a reason to feel LUCKY.

Will says: I LOVE HONING MY WARRIOR SPIRIT. I WILL be procrastination free! This time, I'm going to practise impeccability in the little things. Starting the moment a timer goes off. Finishing the moment it ends. Let's call it... NANOHEROISM ;)

High energy says: Even though today is busy, I'm going to make time for spiritual time because it makes everything better. I'll remember to stay expanded around people too.

Yay Lucky

thesis - 10 Oct 2014 - 4:32am

Good job getting back on track Lucky. Your compassionate part speaks the truth. I'm trying a bit of nanoheroism myself. Good luck!

Thank you,

Lucky - 11 Oct 2014 - 2:00am

Thank you, thesis!

Lucky procrastinated

Lucky - 9 Oct 2014 - 4:09am

Well, I definitely did it this morning... honestly, I think I did it yesterday or the day before (so maybe my premonition was correct!) but didn't want to see it as such because I wanted to keep going. But I was feeling ashamed and anxious because I was claiming that I still hadn't procrastinated, and I felt like I had.

One problem here is boundaries. If you set an exact-to-the-millimetre boundary between procrastinating and not, it's too easy to transgress it. If you make it fuzzy, you end up feeling fuzzy about whether you're over it. I guess the optimum is to make it fuzzy AND stay so far away from it that there can be no doubt!

I did binge, but it was a short one - under 4 hours (and my alarm goes off at 6, so it's still before 10am). Normally my binges can last for days. One of the things I do to procrastinate (other than surfing the internet) is obsessively assign categories and colours to things. It can be anything from designing a magical girl team to making an elaborate colour-coded spreadsheet of my life goals. So it happened that I was thinking about the qualities I need to stay procrastination free, and assigning them rainbow colours:

Compassion
Laughter
Positive thinking
Will
High energy

And a rainbow showed up outside the window! It was like it was meant for me. Needless to say, I felt better and got back on PA.

I may start tracking what I'm doing to bring these qualities into my life...

Rainbow coloured Lucky

Hooch - 11 Oct 2014 - 3:55am

Your procrastination is very creative Lucky! Look at the lovely rainbow chart you have made. Well done with getting back on the wagon. Good luck with keeping up the good work. Let your creativity SHINE!

Had some trouble, upping my game

Lucky - 8 Oct 2014 - 8:45am

I just had a 'did I procrastinate?' that I'm very close to answering with yes and I need to work out what's what and how to stay on track.

ITEM! I very definitely just spent some time surfing the internet.

ITEM! I had no set intention for what I was or wasn't going to be doing with that piece of time. It wasn't like I said 'I will now [productive thing]' and then surfed the internet.

ITEM! I am experiencing GUILT, REGRET, and UNCERTAINTY!

Reminding myself of what I wrote before:

'Another rule I've realised: If you're not sure if you've just procrastinated or not, say you haven't. Call it taking a little break, and then immediately get on with the task and resolve to give yourself more frequent and more clearly defined breaks. If you've really procrastinated, you will KNOW and you won't be able to wriggle out of the knowledge no matter how much you want to.'

A huge reason why we procrastinate is that we think we can't help it - and a huge reason for THAT is that we judge ourselves too harshly. When you're 'on the wagon', if you judge yourself too harshly, if you label every pause for breath as procrastination, you will lose your momentum, experience the crashing despair of 'falling off the wagon', and probably take days or weeks to recover. So it's vital to keep rolling along even if it means excusing and forgiving yourself a bit more than you normally would. That's not a bad thing.'

Still very true!! But I want a lot fewer grey areas, not because I want to be harsh with myself, but because the grey areas drain me. They're the worst parts of my day. So:

1) I need to always know what I intend to be doing with my time.

2) I need *no internet surfing*. Any amount of it harms me. I need *total safety from it* and that isn't a deprivation, it's a relief, because every second of it harms me. That doesn't mean that one second of surfing is procrastination. It means it saps my energy one little bit more and makes it one little bit harder to stay on track. That means everything I do on the internet needs to be planned, written down (preferably on tomorrow's list), and done later. Unless there's some kind of genuine practical urgency like I'm out and I need a taxi number. Email checking can be planned too, although there are a couple of people I have on email alerts because they may need an urgent response.

3) I need more planned breaks. Spiritual time isn't the same as a break because sometimes it takes willpower. A pomo of reading could be, though.

4) Speaking of pomos, I need to err on the side of more structure rather than less, and I need to up my game and follow that structure more conscientiously, for my own happiness and peace of mind.

5) I need vegetables. Today. I need to make there be vegetables TODAY. Nutrition makes a difference!

And WOW, having written all

Lucky - 8 Oct 2014 - 1:05pm

And WOW, having written all that, I just got back from Tiring Friend Visit and proceeded to surf the internet while eating dinner. Stopped immediately on my last mouthful, so I wasn't even out of control, I just wasn't bothering not do to it. Clearly I need a stronger commitment. I've said 'I need to not surf the internet', now I'm saying, 'I won't surf the internet.'

On the upside, my friend gave me loads of cans of vegetable soup that she didn't want, thus neatly dealing with point 5!!!

I forgot to mention there's a point 6:

6) I need ridiculous amounts of spiritual time and exercise (well, ridiculous amounts of exercise for me :)) It makes a huge difference!

Lucky cold turkey Day 9

Lucky - 8 Oct 2014 - 1:37am

Yesterday was a challenge as predicted, partly because worrying that I'd procrastinate made it much more tempting to procrastinate (you know how it is) and partly because of an unexpected neighbour crisis that I got stressed out about. I made it through without procrastinating, although I didn't get much of my tasklist done because of dealing with the crisis and my own reaction to it.

One repercussion is that my neighbour (as things stand) needs to hide out in my flat on Friday so I need to tidy it (for my own peace of mind - she wouldn't judge). This is great actually, because I haven't been giving it high enough priority.

Today I'm seeing a friend - I tend to get very tired around her, which has triggered procrastination in the past, but it's only a short visit. I'm going to try to just keep my energy up, give myself the time I need (if any) to recover when I get back and then crack on with my day.

Lucky cold turkey Day 8

Lucky - 7 Oct 2014 - 4:37am

I told my parents last night that I hadn't procrastinated for a week, they were thrilled! (and told me they'd procrastinated for several days on making some soup.)

Perhaps because of this (I think there's a part in all of us that doesn't WANT to finally be the good little non-procrastinator our families always wanted us to be) I had a sudden 'doom feeling' while lying in bed last night thinking about today, a really 'dead' feeling like knocking on something you expect to resonate like a bell and hearing just a dull thunk. I started to worry that I would procrastinate today.

During the night I was randomly kept awake for 2 hours by thoughts of the worst thing I've ever done in my life, which I think might be connected, but I slept an extra 2 hours in the morning to make up for it because I want to make sure I stay gloriously procrastination free today :)

Being 'procrastination free' for me is turning out different from how I'd thought - it doesn't mean I'm a 24/7 workbeast and (as chatbox ppl will have noticed) it does NOT mean I'm 'spacing-out free', 'slowness free' or 'dithering free'. But it does mean no more 'I've lost it, I may as well just sit here and surf the internet because AAAAAAAARGH.' If things start heading south I'm able to notice more or less immediately and turn them around. Or turn them in a totally different direction, because if you're trying to drive a team of sled dogs north and they all start frantically heading south instead, sometimes that means going north is a bad idea right now. (In other words, sometimes resistance should be listened to rather than crushed. Chronic procrastination is a bit like chronic disordered eating in that you lose the ability to hear your body telling you 'I'm in need' or 'I've had enough.')

Okay, if I've started making rambling dog metaphors I should probably end this post here... :)

Lucky cold turkey DAAAAY... 7

Lucky - 6 Oct 2014 - 3:12am

Last night was interesting - having finished my tasklist before dinner, I decided to have an internet spree. It didn't feel good. This supposedly irresistible, ultra-craveable activity that I spent years supposedly wanting so much I'd throw away anything for it? Did. Not. Feel. Good. And yet I kept doing it. It wasn't technically procrastination because I finished my tasklist first and got to bed promptly at 10pm, but ew, it felt like it. I felt like I was back to my 'old normal' - going to bed frazzled, square-eyed and shamefaced and spending an hour trying to sleep because the screen had made my brain think it was daylight. It was the first time I really thought, 'Maybe I've blown it and should give up now.'

Of course, I didn't :) Partly because I know I have people on here reading and being inspired by my progress. I was rewarded big time this morning by clement showing up and offering to join me. Imagine if I'd just relapsed last night and had to tell him he was on his own!

Yippidee doodah Lucky

Hooch - 6 Oct 2014 - 4:09pm

Wow, a whole week! Great stuff Lucky.

Despite some doubts and indecision, you have kept going with the plan. That is very good work.

I am cheering you on from the sidelines!

See you soon in the chatbox.

@Hooch

Lucky - 7 Oct 2014 - 2:12am

Thank you so much!! See you soon! (Possibly right now ;)

-
The ’3Ts’ aka ’Timed Task Tomorrow’ method - 3 questions before doing something online:
Is it Timed (set a timer)? Is it a Task? If it's a sudden impulse, can I act on it Tomorrow?

i agree

clement - 5 Oct 2014 - 5:33pm

Want company? i'd like to join you.

You said "the most important thing here is to stay procrastination free, not to get as much done as possible"

I have come to the same conclusion. I have also see strong indicators that binge working is the same as procrastination, and that indulging in it only ingrains the disease more. It seems to trade short term gain for long term loss.

For me, i have been working A LOT on guilt. I believe that after working in this program for 6 years that the debilitating effects of feeling guilty over a lapse, are FAR FAR worse than the lapse itself. Eg, i procrastinate for 1 hour, and feel guilty and escape for the next week. That would mean it's 100x worse.

So now that i read your language here, i guess i would say i intend to abstain from guilt. And i am abstaining from guilt by trying to live each moment abiding in Christ.

4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. - John 15:4-5

That's an abstaining from living outside of Christ.

Also, abiding in Christ eliminates my fear of failure and dread of future tasks because it includes perfect trust of God for my future. And removes evaluation of myself as success or failure--the only thing i need to do is abide and trust.

I agree with the definition of procrastination being out of control of time.

The opposite of that sounds like a control freak, but, just like "normal" people can occasionally drink alcohol, and alcoholics never can, i believe i can never afford to let go of control of my time. But for me, this is a surrender of my whole self and all my time and all my tasks to God, not really "me" taking charge.

the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb

bookmarks

YES! I would LOVE company

Lucky - 6 Oct 2014 - 2:58am

Thank you, Clement - I've been hoping to inspire other people to join me on this, so I'm really pleased to have your company, especially as you've also inspired ME a lot (including with this post, actually :) What you've said about guilt over a lapse is so true for me too, and your idea of abstaining from guilt blows my mind.

You're welcome to post your thoughts and daily progress in this thread! I'll be cheering you on the whole way.

Lucky cold turkey Day 6

Lucky - 5 Oct 2014 - 2:32am

Yesterday was a very strange day. I needed to finish a piece of copy editing and I was feeling 'off', anxious, distracted and apathetic, probably because I had a past pattern of procrastinating to my physical LIMITS on tasks like that. 48+ hours awake on energy drinks. So rather than fearing the task, I was really fearing the pain of the procrastination that went with the task.

EXCEPT THIS TIME I FINISHED IT BY 2 IN THE AFTERNOON.

The rest of the day was dedicated to taking f-o-r-e-v-e-r to compose a message (a tendency that's also strongly linked to perfectionism, and which I'm trying to get over) and going through some really intense stuff about whether or not to use pomos. While I was finishing the edit I tried to stop pomo-ing and had to start again because I felt that without exact timed definition I would just collapse into the yawning abyss of total loss of control. (Just writing that sentence makes me feel uneasy!) But afterwards, when there was nothing on the list but non-urgent household tasks and admin, I felt safer to experiment. It resulted in not a lot getting done in the evening because I realised that I was exhausted and what I really needed was to have a bath and read a book. As we all know, there's all the difference in the world between procrastination and choosing rest.

I realised that one reason I get attached to structure is that it allows me to ignore when I'm tired. Like, 'Yes, I'm struggling to keep my eyes open but that's irrelevant, I have a pomo to finish!' And I'm scared of how much rest I might actually need if I started responding to all my tiredness signals. I'm already choosing to rest much more than ever before, because the most important thing here is to stay procrastination free, not to get as much done as possible before crashing. I guess I need to remember that I'm only 6 days off caffeine and sugar and have just started some potentially drowsy-making herbal meds, so it's not like I'm going to feel like this for life.

One thing that I know can help here is exercise (gives you more energy) so I'm going to start gradually introducing that over the next few days and weeks. No big push because exercise routines have been a big procrastination trigger for me in the past, and again, the absolute most important thing is to stay procrastination free.

Today has been up and

Lucky - 5 Oct 2014 - 1:08pm

Today has been up and down!!! Actually, it's been down and up. I really wanted to break my dependence on the pomos, but it just wasn't working for me. I CAN happily function for a bit by just tuning in to myself and doing what feels right, which is great progress, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to do it all the time. Eventually I get tired from the constant decisions and lack of boundaries, and just space out more and more. I don't think forgetting my pill this lunchtime helped either (only just realised that!) So by midafternoon I was quietly freaking out.

Luckily, I was saved by the good humour and great example of jalla and Hooch pomo-ing away in the chatbox, and by actually doing some EXERCISE (sun salutations) which cleared my head tremendously. I went back to pomos for the rest of the day and completed my tasklist before dinner, including FINDING that library book I'd misplaced for a year! Admittedly, today's tasklist was a light one because I was expecting to make a social call that didn't happen, but still. Lesson learned, I think!

I'm thrilled about the exercise thing, I've known for ages that it would be really good for my procrastination, but I couldn't do it because of my procrastination Being able to manage this will make a huge difference.

Just discovered a fantastic focus hack

Lucky - 5 Oct 2014 - 6:16am

Today turned out to be an ADHD day and following my feelings turned out to be a bad idea because it devolved into Manic Planning. I'm also forgetting what I'm doing every few minutes (if not seconds!) HowEVER, this led to the following mantra: '[What I'm doing] is holy.' (If you're not into things being holy, you could just say, 'I'm doing x' or any variation.) Even when my brain shuts down, my mouth keeps saying it, so all I have to do to remember what I'm doing is check what I'm saying Why it's funny: 'Finding my trousers is holy': funny. Realising you now have trousers on and you're still saying it: priceless.

Lucky cold turkey Day 5

Lucky - 4 Oct 2014 - 3:47am

Day 5!!!

This morning again didn't start that well, I spent some time in bed 'deciding whether I needed more sleep or not', which again put me in a stressed, 'did I procrastinate?' mood. I'm going to spend some time today practising my getting-up routine to help make it a habit.

I'm currently having some indecision about pomodoros. Using the technique works well for me, but after a couple of days of constant pomo-ing I start to feel frustrated and rebellious at being 'told what to do' by the timer. However, if I DON'T use the timer then I have to deal with NOT being told what to do, having to make constant decisions about what I'm doing and how long I'm doing it for, plus constant self-questioning about whether I'm procrastinating or not, because there's no set boundary.

And if I leave it that 'I can use pomos if I feel like it,' that results in half-hearted, rule-bending pomos followed by more 'did I procrastinate?'

It's clear from writing this down that I've actually hit on one of the roots of my procrastination: I want to be told what to do (because I need clarity) but I don't (because I need freedom.) And the way to both is to become crystal clear about what I truly want.

I think I'm going to use pomos as a 'self-rescue for low moments' strategy, and for places where it works really well like my morning routine, spiritual time, and at work (although I only have 2 more afternoons there before I hand over to my successor.) And the rest of the time I'll see how I do at going freestyle. That doesn't mean I can't use timers, but the timers can be any length I want.

Something I realised in chat the other day is that I'm sure part of procrastination (for some at least) is fear of making decisions. If you don't do, you don't have to decide. I know people say, 'Doing nothing is a decision,' but procrastination doesn't FEEL like a decision to do nothing, it feels like doing nothing helplessly. Maybe the helpless feeling is part of what's craved, the feeling of having no responsibility for your actions. But that makes for a horrible cycle because:

Craving non-responsibility

'Helpless' behaviour

Consequences

Guilt

Craving non-responsibility

WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH EVERY ADDICTION EVER.

AAH no, I can't handle the

Lucky - 4 Oct 2014 - 4:41am

AAH no, I can't handle the ambiguity of not having pomos right now!!

Lucky cold turkey Day 4

Lucky - 3 Oct 2014 - 2:55am

Yesterday went OK, though I was VERY sleepy - not sure if it's the caffeine withdrawal or the new herbal pills. I'm noticing that I feel a lot more spiritual without procrastination constantly bringing me down. In the evening I felt that bit of 'loss' and anxiety again, but it went away.

I also got fed up with constantly using pomodoro timers and managed to 'not-procrastinate freestyle' for a while, just using my emotional cues to tell me when I should stop a task or a break. That's a big breakthrough, because I usually responded to that feeling that 'this break's gone on long enough' by feeling dejected and helpless and trying to ignore it until it slides into outright procrastination. I still feel a bit wary of relying on that method too much, though, so I'm back on the pomos today. (Having said that, I just switched my break timer off to finish this post...)

Last night I dreamed of walking past a group of threatening punk men who were all dressed in orange jumpsuits with white faces and green spiked hair. One of them gave me an incredibly creepy smile, and a voice said, 'They've got the addiction.' It wasn't until I woke up that I realised they all looked like Joker in Arkham uniform.

This is strange because by and large, procrastinators are NOT threatening or creepy! (Actually, some of the most caring and talented people, which just makes it more frustrating.) It was almost like they WERE the addiction, personified. Yikes.

This morning my final alarm (which I set on the other side of the room) went off before I'd finished recording my dreams, so I went back to bed to finish (bad mistake), went back to sleep, and spent nearly 2 hours struggling to wake up enough to finish my dream journal and get out of bed. I was tempted to class this as procrastination, but remembered 2 things: 1) I was incredibly sleepy yesterday and probably needed the extra sleep, and 2) I learned during the last cold turkey that if you're not sure if you procrastinated, it's best to just decide you didn't and plough on. If you've really procrastinated, you will KNOW.

It's still left me feeling really out of sorts and tempted this morning, and also tempted to skimp on spiritual time to make up for the oversleeping (bad idea!) I have a lot I want to do today, possibly given myself too much and need to cut down my list.

'Iguana du jour' yesterday was a qualified success, as I didn't find the book, but did spend 2 pomos looking. I've also decided to start moving something from my 'optional' list onto the main list every day, otherwise they could stay 'optional' forever!

Need to remember ULTRA POSITIVE attitude today and keep going!

Oops, double post

Lucky - 3 Oct 2014 - 2:49am

Lucky cold turkey Day 3

Lucky - 2 Oct 2014 - 12:39am

Last night after logging off I got fearful of having a 'post-success crash' today - has anyone else had that thing of needing to follow success with failure? I also felt a weird lack while I was getting ready for bed and going to sleep. Like some part of me thought my life was empty without procrastination!

However, I've woken up much happier because I managed to have a lucid dream for the first time in ages. I'm sure this is down to all the changes I've made in my life. I also managed to get to bed at 10 and up at 6 this time!

Iguana Du Jour

Lucky - 1 Oct 2014 - 3:08pm

Starting tomorrow I'm going to add one 'iguana' task into my to-do list most days (not if it's a really tough day already.) Otherwise it's easy to spend the whole day being productive and never do, you know, THOSE things. Tomorrow: Find and return that book!

Lucky cold turkey Day 2

Lucky - 1 Oct 2014 - 3:13am

I'm pleased with my progress!

Last night, I was about to get ready for bed at 10pm, had a last email check and found a friend was very upset at me about money (PROTIP: Don't borrow from one person to lend to another!) I paid her but was then worried about how I'd pay rent today, and then my neighbour wanted a late-night chat, which I find draining.

All this would normally be a recipe for procrastinating on going to bed till 3am, surfing the internet and avoiding myself, but I remembered something I read, that quitting in challenging circumstances is actually better. If you quit when everything's perfect, how do you know you can handle challenges when they come? So I decided to see how a NON-PROCRASTINATOR would handle this, used the chatbox, spent a bit of time getting my feelings out and went to sleep.

I had prayed for some work to show up overnight to cover the rent, but it hadn't. I was feeling very limited and considering going out and begging, but then realised I have lots of things I can sell and skills I can offer, including a business I'd just yesterday decided to resurrect (see my other comment today ) Magic! Between raising rent money and other things, I've got a busy day today but I'm feeling strong. Need to remember to make time for spiritual time, it helps so much it's ridiculous.

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