New Here - What do I do next?
Did I find this board to kill time or did I find this board because I am at my wit's end? I'm pretty sure it's because I have just had enough! I never thought of my lifelong procrastination as an addiction before. I'm not quite sure I understand how it is yet, but I am willing to try anything to get through this. Looking at the site I feel overwhelmed though, I don't know what to do next, what the curriculum is here.
I'm in my mid-forties and I let myself and my loved ones down every day. I almost never have a "good" day anymore. Working at home with no supervisor, business partners who enable me, the internet lures of sudoku, porn, second life, facebook...it's just all too much to resist. I only work and perform important tasks when they have to be done THAT moment or else--(and if the task will be blatantly noticeable if undone). Everything is last minute and then there's all the stuff that I never get to, including paying bills and taxes quite often.
At this moment I hate myself with a passion. I imagine this horrible beast inside of me and I want to yank it out by the tail and kill it. It honestly feels a bit like possession. Like this aching tense ball of hell in my solar plexus.
I do lists and lists and I practice mindfulness meditation. It almost seems like the meditation makes it worse, or maybe I am just a little bit more self-aware. At the moment I have some huge previously made committments that are coming to pass that will involve many people and their travel plans and their chances at success. And I just don't get to it. Or what I do is just a drip of molasses, and the wall is coming closer and closer.
I just need help so bad. Any thoughts or ideas of how to use this resource would be so welcome at this moment.
Thank you,
Sam
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I definitely can relate
Hi Sam, I've returned to PA after a nearly two year absence. I can definitely relate to the self loathing because a project isn't completed, and that there is a feeling of something overtaking you, a compulsion if you will.
For myself, I've recognized that I have some deeper issues at work and had to address them first. I've joined a 12 step group for another addiction issue, and that is what brought me back here. I understand that my procrastination is also part of my addictive behavior--my need to avoid issues.
Anyway, I hope you stick around, and for myself, I WILL be part of tomorrow's check in.
Take care,
RIF
Welcome, Sam (And Grandma C
Welcome, Sam (And Grandma C :) You've come to the right place. *hugs*
There are three main elements ;) to what we do here - weekly, daily and minute-by-minute support.
Weekly - The meeting on Sundays, which is held in the meetings chatbox and runs just like an AA meeting only in chat. Someone will post a reminder about this every Sunday. You can read more about it here: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/forum/42. There are also some phone and face-to-face meetings depending on your area.
Daily - The daily check-in threads. Someone will start a thread each day (you should see them linked under 'Active forum topics' on the top right of your screen) and most of us post a to-do-list in the morning and tick off things as we achieve them. We encourage each other and generally babble about how our days are going.
Moment-by-moment: The chatbox (click the 'chatbox' link at the top) is where we go when we want support *right now* - there'll usually be someone there for you to talk to, but even if not, it can be weirdly helpful just talking to yourself there. We mostly use the chatbox for 'bookending' - you announce that you're going to do a task, do it, and then announce that you've done it. This gives you a feeling of accountability and not being alone, and if anyone else is on they'll give you advice when you're struggling and tons of praise and encouragement as you get things done.
Good luck and stick around - it really does help!
another welcome to sam and grandma C!
Read thru the great articles that Pro has posted and start posting in the daily checkin thread! The chatbox is awesome too although I don't use it much because I'm in an office situation so chatting don't look that good when folks walk by my desk.
You will find a lot of support here, glad you found us!
JO
Every time you get up and get back in the race, one more little piece of you starts to fall into place - (from "Stand" by Rascal Flatts)
Introductions
Hi Sam,
I just joined yesterday so I can't help you to navigate the site, but what struck me is that yours is the first message that I've read and it could be me writing it. I will be watching to see what answers you get.
Grandma C