Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Tuesday December 1st 2009

 

 

We surrender, one day at a time, our whole life strategy of, and our obsession with, the pursuit of avoidant behaviors that deter us from our highest good.

from http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/2216 (thanks to fudo_shin)

Catherine

Mmn. . . managed to do nothing all day yesterday, I am getting very good at it and feeling as miserable about it as I ever have - sometimes I wish I would simply explode from procrastination rather than always find myself coping, only just at times, but coping nevertheless from one day, week, month, year to the next. That reminds me, perhaps today I had better talk about 1 minute and 1 quarter of an hour and one half and one hour at a time as one day at a time is too large a time scale for me to do anything with.  

I have read some earlier posts from various of you here at P.A. and many have been helpful. I recall something about moving through the day in a fog (though these are my words) as if I am living half-asleep, and I only wake up when I get rude shocks such as it's 6 p.m or it's Friday again or it's the end of a month or Xmas is coming soon and then a new year. I only wake up when something scares me into seeing how much time I have wasted and how much I am taking a big risk with my life by wasting all this time, and not just a risk with my life but the lives of my family too. Then I freak out and hate myself and get very frustrated and weep and punch myself in the head - (I stopped doing this for a year and then just this Monday morning the horror of wasting my life came flooding back, that feeling of being out of control and that feeling that you're getting into trouble.) No wonder avoidant procrastinators are dishonest, first to ourselves and then to others - who could really live with the truth that they have done nothing much at all today, this week, this month, this year, this decade, this life?

The opening quotation for today is very useful to me: I want to surrender my obsession with the pursuit of avoidant behaviours that deter me from living my life.

Since I found this site I have also read some literature by Prof. Ferrari in a psychology journal with the word "Personality" in the title (I forget the rest) and Dr. T. Pychyl. Ferrari has written a lot of articles on chronic procrastination and its links with low self-esteem and chronic vulnerability to the judgment of others. I have also learned that I fit the description of the avoidant procrastinator rather than the passive indecisive procrastinator (I can't recall the title), or the risk-taking procrastinator, who gets on a high when leaving things to the last minute.

I also read recently and really liked the phrase: "Begin before you feel ready." This worked for about 5 days - when I say it worked, I mean I did 1 or 2 out of the requisite 8 hours of work rather than my usual none. I suppose I stopped letting that phrase work after a few days because I do not believe enough that I can be helped, not in the long run anyway, and not in a way that will sustain me, my project and my life.  This feeling of hopelessness was not alleviated when I read in "Procrastination: Ten Things To Know":

"Procrastinators can change their behaviour - but doing so consumes a lot of psychic energy. And it doesn't necessarily means one feels transformed internally. It can be done with highly structured cognitive behavioural therapy."

Maybe this list from the journal Psychology Today is an advertorial?" I ask eagerly. 

Then there's Tim Pychyl's blog, also from Psychology Today, which lists 7 typical reactions to dissonance, which he suggests is "one of the costs of procrastination."  There's a goal and an intention to act to achieve the goal and then we don't act and we delay the action knowing, he also writes, that this may affect us negatively - hence we experience dissonance. Anyway, the seventh reaction to this dissonance is "Changing behaviour." The other 6 are okay/ allowable as short-term responses, responses such as "forgetting" or "Self-affirmation", and "Denial of responsibility." It is only number seven, "changing behaviour" that will improve things for an avoidant procrastinator. The problem is though this need for a lot of psychic energy, i.e., courage and bloody hard work ... and this sounds paradoxical inasmuch as I could end up procrastinating doing the psychic work needed to get over my chronic procrastination! The worst thing about the effort required to help free myself of chronic and destructive procrastination is, however, that I am tired, so very tired of the whole thing, of myself, the situation I have gotten myself into, and of the idea that I can get better if only I put in that CBT kind of effort.  I suppose I am feeling a little hopeless. 

I can already hear responses from what some of you would call the HP and what I might call here common and useful ideas such as: you don't need to write a thesis on procrastination to help yourself! Keep it simple and try anyway. You may as well try and improve your life, what other option do you have?  Besides, when you try to work and you manage to do a little you do feel better, which means you are already improving your life. One day at a time is all that can be lived anyway.  

How do you all do what you do? Sorry! - that is a bit of big question and I am sure I'll find answers in all your posts.  

In spite of the venom and darkness in this post, I also have to say that I am glad I have finally admitted that I am a chronic procrastinator and that my procrastination has made my life unmanageable and somethimes unbearable, and has unfairly impinged on the lives of others closest to me.   

@Catherine - I do relate, I do agree, I will be happy!

Hi Catherine,

You could have just be reading my mind (and many of others here). I too consider myself an avoidant procrastinator, although I have to recognize that my life has become so unmanegable this last year because I shifted from being a risk-taking procrastinator (wich I could somehow handle) to a full time avoidant P. and I haven't figured out how to modify my routines to "live" with it until I find a way to overcome it.

I won't give you advise, not because i don't want to, I wish I had the answer, but precisely because I don't. So I'll just tell you how i'm living my process.

I believe the best I can do is keep trying. I believe there is no other choice.

I believe now there is no such thing as "the ultimate tool". I mean, if I were a maintenance guy I wouln't be able to fix everything with just a screwdriver... even if it was "The Mr. Screwdriver" of screwdrivers, right? I believe either a multitool isn't good enough as these are usually not sturdy enough for tough work. So I believe I have to get "professional grade" tools and that learning to use these tools take time.

I believe that at a certain age everybody just get too lazy or we believe that they don't have the time or the ability to learn something new. While this is true for most of the people in the world, I believe we prorastinators strugle double with it. I mean, how am I going to waste time learning how to use a new tool if I don't have any. If I had any "spare" time I would be doing the things I have in my "never ending" to do list right?

But i'm confident it requires just a change in mindset to convince myself I have to spend the time to learn the tools, then I have to spend some more to actually use these, and as I become more experienced in their use, I will start noticing how my life changes.

So, I am now in the stage where I am convinging myself that I AM the maintenance guy in this building called "OCz's Life"... and I don't have the tools. But I do want to FIX my life. So I'm working in two aspects of it:

1st - I'm trying to imagine how my building should look like once I'm done with fixing it (and I understand that maintenance is a continuous job since things are always breaking appart).

2nd - I'm trying to select the set of tools that I want to carry in my belt. Then I need to take time and effort to learn to use each of them until I feel skilled and comfortable with each.

I guess there should be a 3rd one which migth consist in a maintenance plan. But I've still not mangaed to get there, and when I have tried It makes me feel overwhelmed since the building is now almost falling appart... so, to be honest, I am "actively" procrastinating about it. sounds familiar?

I also have found that sharing helps me. Once I have managed to post something like you just did I feel almost instanly better. Accepting what my problems are, identifying how it is affecting my life helps me identify as well what I want of my life, and this ultimatelly helps me. Just posting this message is helping me a lot.

So, after all of these, I come to one conclussion / piece of advise:

Keep posting!

fudoshin: what can I do : 5pm

Please do not leave advice.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

                                                                                              

Just got to keep on going with the thought of "what little thing, can I do?" when I feel like quitting or that I cannot do anything, cuz it's obvious not true, I can do something.  I just repeat to myself, "What little thing *can* I do for tomorrow or for today?"  Something really is better than nothing, and when I just let the day flow the way it's supposed to, and do the next right thing, I do more than I think possible.  I can just do a little something. 

In the words of Ashleigh Brilliant, "Try to relax and enjoy the crisis."  

Tues

exercise Kiss

hardware storeKiss

lightsCool

Finish book

appts

sch snk

htl

Rm

shwer

bk/mtg

I am starting to pocrastinate. Need to asked for strengh from HP. If it is up to me not good. Back in one hour

Wed

 

Luh Innocent

kitKiss

ShwWink

Bkft. Lt go lt go lvd

ook

rm

appt

mtg

store

snk

din

julesk CI

Hello!

Showing up (DOne!)

By not setting my boudaries and working my balance-routine I've discovered that others are running my day.

Yuk.

Will try again later and tomorrow as well.

But thanks for being here for me.

J

 

 

 

Please send positive thoughts!!

I have an interview tomorrow night with a successful dog walking company!!! It is a great start to having my own business....by giving me experience and confidence. I feel positive about the interview bordering on desperation, which ain't a good thing. I will keep giving it to HP and continue looking for work, and trying to fix my website.

Blessings and Hugs!!

hope4meandu

♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥

Wishing you well

Positive thoughts on their way. Best of luck with it.

Rexroth

Thanks Rexroth!!!

♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥

Ack what happened to the page format?

I don't recall doing anything different that usual on my check-in. But when I posted it, the whole page format changed. I hope I didn't mess something up.

page formatting is a great way to procrastinate!

Still not sure what I did to cause the format hiccup. I've been playing around in Edit mode trying to figure it out to no avail (I'm a total Forest Gump technically). But by deleting the Enters at the end of each bullet and then re-entering them, I made some progress. I also selected the entire text and used "remove formatting" again (I always do that at the start of each post). These seemed to make some progress but I could not get my sig to appear inside the box except by copy/paste from Preview Comment. 

At least the rest of the page came back into alignment!  I'm sure this is something Pro knows how to handle - Sorry if I caused you trouble, Pro!

I really need to give this up now and get onto my tasks for the day. God, please help me!

Agnus checking in

Greetings, my fellow PAers!  One of my daily readings inspired me with this thought: Happiness results from "a simple and frugal heart." What an intriguing idea! I suspect that keeping my expectations down to basic needs, would dissolve many stresses that compel my addiction and steal my happiness.  I am asking HP to keep that idea returning to my mind today as I pursue these actions:

  • Clear one pile of debit receipts
  • Clear one other pile of paperwork
  • Notes from AH call
  • Read 2 hours on AH
  • Fill out timecard(s)
  • Respond to at least 25 of 47 emails
  • Call cbc
  • Complete paperwork for J's med appt tomorrow
  • Straighten and swiffer
  • Pack overnighters for J and me
  • Target departure at 4pm (if later call motel for late check-in; leave no later than 6pm)

Observation: I seem able to ignore housecleaning needs for fairly long periods ongoingly, but I always have to clean before a trip because I can't stand coming home to a dirty house.  :P J says if not for my trips and my mother's visits, I'd never clean house - LOL. Da bum!

kromer 11:35 CI

super stressed out today. Did lab mtg and it was OK, but not as good as I would have liked.

Today I need to:
*Finish student seminar (almost done)
*Finish Harambee prep (needs to be postponed until tomorrow)
*Notes from lab mtg
*Look into doing HPLC (have made some progress, will finish soon)
*Ask about cells and injections
*Get RNA to check, make plan for checking
*Clean up lab nb, look at data (will do soon)
*Check genotypes and wean
*Write up GW ideas (will do soon)

Oh heck that's a lot. Oh well, I can do it. Right now, I'm going to go try and get RNA to check. 

OCz Dec1st

December announced itself today with a beautiful morning, lots of wind and a sky so blue I amost cannot believe it (I'm in Mexico City where pollution tends to keep the sky from gray to yellowish most of the year). So I thank God for today and I thank you all for being here!

December... I cannot belive the year is almost over. I have to deliver today my job accomplishments (actually deadline was yesterday Embarassed) and I don't want to procrastinate about it anymore. I know I have been doing it because I know I have not accomplished most of what I stated in my objectives. And yet I know I MUST do it today.

So I'll try to focus on it and not get distracted by anything else until I have hit the sent button of my email!

I will do break the task since it's too overwhealming to do it all in one single push.

  1. Start the file!
  2. List objectives
  3. List accomplishments (no description, just list them)
  4. Work on objective 1
  5. ...

Have a great day! Smile! laugh at your mistakes! There's still hope to do better, even if just a bit!

OCz update =(

 Strugling really hard with procrastination... just sitting, unable to watch at the file although it is already open. This kind of moments is what convinces me that Procrastination is not about prioritizing or positive thinking or anithing else... it is an adiction, a dissease. Today I have been more than 90% disfunctional.

I have managed to do just a bit of progress, but I find every excuse to do something else. Really distracted at some other problems.

  1. Start the file!
  2. List objectives
  3. List accomplishments (no description, just list them) - NOPE, not happening, I'm unable to see accomplishments when I see so many unfinished tasks/objectives... I think this is what is preventing me to move on. The minute I saw the big list of objectives I just froze.
  4. Work on objective 1
  5. Work on objective 2
  6. ...

@H4M&U - good luck and thanks for the good wishes and prayers - regarding your biz website, I wish that you manage to get it functional soon and pretty just a bit later, good luck with your interview tomorrow.

Dear God I will need just some more strenght!

Here comes some

♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥

Dear OCz

First, I so, so appreciate the feedback and information you gave me yesterday. If I'm unable to get further with mydomain.com, I will check out the extensive info. you provided.

So happy to hear about the beautiful blue skies watching over you.

Good luck in doing your job accomplishments, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

hope
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥

Tuesday CI for Lark

Hi everyone. I've been out of commission for quite a while, and feel I should get back into some sort of routine.

Today:
(X)domestic things
main project for work
sort laundry
go food shopping tonight
make schedule for tomorrow
put on at least one storm window
return dvd
spiritual time

good 2cu Lark!

 

Vic 12/1

Show up (done)

Next level of showing up- CLA action line- I did it yesterday and it was actually fun doing things with others, I feel like I am learning to ride a bike or fly a plane

Great

Great threadstarter!

Yesterday wonderful, today argh. This is a pattern for me! I think I'll go back to writing down my achievements starting tomorrow. I've had enough of a break from it now to stop feeling sick of it.

Realised I really have a huge problem with low self-esteem/negative self-talk and need to get help. This morning I managed to get from missing my train to general despair about myself to (fleetingly) contemplating suicide in a worryingly short time. No actual suicide risk whatever, but the fact that I even thought about it just because I missed my train = argh. Also, now can't concentrate on work. Going to look into work-funded phone counselling. 

(Lucky)

I so relate.........Feel free to e-mail me any time. Sometimes it just helps to get the thoughts out of the head. There is so much help out there. Don't give up.

Rexroth todo today

Done:

Finished financial work including accounts and sorting papers - good for me!

Check craft order on internet

Todo:

Write up journal

Wash up and tidy up

Sort out washing

Thank you all for being here and thanks for starting the thread. I like the quote.

Rexroth

Done

I'm getting better and am so glad I can post here.

Rexroth

Hope-Faith CI 8:55

Hi all, not as motivated as I need to be but here I go again. Wish me luck.

Motivation for the week -- There are 86400 seconds in a day use them well. Do not get pinned down with "stuff" you can not do anything about just work the plan and the rest will fall into place. Do not try to help eveyone somepeople can not be helped just do your best.

SmileCompleted

Frown DNA Did not attempt

Wink Attempted but did not complete

11-30-09 10:20 Starting at the top of the list.

AM

Task  T  T  S
 Swish & Swipe Frown  Frown           
 Dishwasher Frown Frown           
 Reboot Frown  Frown           
 Coffee/e-mail Frown  Frown           

Work

Task  M  T  W  Task  M  T  F
PPT2 Smile          PPT4 Smile        
Plan2 Smile          Email4 Smile         
Email2 Smile         Game4 Smile        
Grades2 Smile         Plan4 Smile         
PPT3 Smile          Grades4 Smile         
Email3 Smile          0degrees  Smile         
Game3 Smile          Desk          
Plan3 Smile          Organize Games          
Grades3 Smile                

hope-faith

Hope-Faith CI 9:15

Thanks lucky,

Task  M  T  W  Task  M  T  F
PPT2 Smile  Smile       PPT4 Smile Smile       
Plan2 Smile  Smile        Email4 Smile  Smile       
Email2 Smile Smile       Game4 Smile Smile      
Grades2 Smile Smile       Plan4 Smile  Smile       
PPT3 Smile  Smile        Grades4 Smile  Smile       
Email3 Smile  Smile        0degrees  Smile         
Game3 Smile  Smile        Desk          
Plan3 Smile  Smile        Organize Games          
Grades3 Smile Smile         

K I am prep for the 1st part of the day. Now to try to find a file convert that will work on work computer. zamzar blocked. :rolleyes:

K2 I am moving along but it does not feel like I am, I feel as if I am in motion but my accomplishments are not moving me towards my goal just forward. :-?

hope-faith

Good luck!! <3

Good luck!! <3

chick CI

showed up for meeting

cat food

major effort project m

correspondence

activity in 4 other areas

...thanks, all, for being here

Hi

Such a nice picture of you chickadee!! LOL!!

♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥

tks hope4meandu lol :)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/6560394/Listen-to-the-voices-in-your-h...

something I ran into about silencing the inner critic.... hmmm

Thanks interesting!!

♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥