Need help - anyone avail. for sponsorship?
Hi guys. I am in desperate need of support around my compulsive procrastination - I'm back in school for a graduate degree and am absolutely horrified at my inability to get these papers done. It's horrendous. I'm not even working right now, and my entire life over the past three weeks has been consumed by two papers and my anxiety around them. The second one was due last Thursday and it's now 2:46am on Tuesday morning and I haven't even come close to finishing it. I truly feel like I just can't.
I believe that my procrastination becomes a self-fulfilling negative obsession - I'm so used to my reaction to anything I have to do in life being procrastination that I already fear, before going into a task, that that is what it will look like, and when it manifests, it provides me with more evidence to say, "look: I'm incompetent, incapable, dysfunctional, etc. etc. etc." The worst is when people tell me how smart I am, because then I feel even worse for "wasting" God's talents that were given to me.
This is a spiritual program, so I will say that I know I need to ask for a Higher Power's help in removing this defect, but it's just been so overwhelmingly painful since I went back to school that I forget I even have a Higher Power half the time, let alone one to which I'm supposed to turn things over.
My request here is if anyone has experienced significant and ongoing recovery around procrastination severe enough to affect daily functioning and jeopardize important relationships or assets, please let me know if you're available to sponsor!
I don't know quite how it works on P.A. yet, as I'm not used to online meetings, but I'm so grateful that it exists, and if anyone's available for live outreach (internet or phone, but preferably phone if possible), I would be VERY VERY grateful if you could contact me. I'm avail. at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thank you so much,