Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Scared, need advice


I´ve been sick for a week and have been working from home.

One of the things I need to address is my financial situation. I´m a member of DA (Debtors Anonymous) but haven´t been able to go to meetings because of my illness. It´s the Swineflu, by the way. 

I contacted my bank about two loans I had frozen. The deadline is the coming November. I contacted the bank by e-mail yesterday to ask them about options and ways of making this loan easier to pay (I mortgaged my house). 

They answered back very formally and want multiple dossier from the IRS, last three month´s salary and some other stuff.

I panicked, because usually I walk into the bank, talk to the bank manager and walk out with my problems solved. Not now.

The economy is really bad where I am and banks are reluctant to do anything. 

I sent them another e-mail and told them I would not be able to meet the deadline because the doctor told me not to go anywhere until I´m symptom-free for tw days.

They answered: "Don´t worry, get well. Come and see us when you´re feeling better."

I feel really bad about this, I don´t know why. I called a financial advicer who works for the city where I live and she told me there are new regulations for banks, much strickter.

Hope to get some feedback.

Hope all of you are fine. 







take care of yourself!!!

Hi Lily!

I hope you will be feeling better soon!

(((gentle hugs)))


Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Ugh, what a horrible

Ugh, what a horrible situation. I'm so sorry you have to deal with debt and swine flu at once!

Just one thing: you don't need to feel bad about the bank telling you "Don´t worry, get well. Come and see us when you´re feeling better."That was absolutely the right thing for them to say - you may think you don't deserve a break even when you have swine flu, but believe me, you do - anyone does. Just appreciate it and take their advice. This *is* a scary situation, but give yourself permission to spend a week or whatever recovering and it will probably seem less scary when you're not feeling ill. (I find illness/pain or just not having enough sleep makes everything seem far more daunting than it is...)

Hope you feel better soon and best of luck... it does sound like the bank, despite the 'official' front, has some caring human beings there who should listen to you. Which is good. :) (I've had and indeed still have a fair bit of debt trouble myself, so you have my sympathies there...!!)

Hi Recycler and

Hi Recycler and Lucky,

Thank you so much for thinking of me and taking the time to help.

I will give the bank the benefit of a doubt, get the dossier ready for them and let Higher Power deal with the rest.

At least I´m clear on what I owe, I´m clear on how much I earn and I have managed to clear two credit cards, dealt with all the creditors except this bank and these two loans. 

Thanks again. :)

Love and light,





avoidance doesn't work

Hi, Lily,

I can relate to what you are going through, have done it many times myself. For me, dealing with consequences of my actions, whether those actions were financial irresponsibility, not following through on college work, required work tasks - whatever it was, dealing with it was so scary it actually brought a physical reaction, a knot in my stomach, headaches, etc.  Dealing with those consequences  for me means one thing: FAILURE. I...FAILED, and would do almost anything not to acknowledge the truth of that. So I would postpone the appointment or the task or the meeting as long as possible, finding many other things to do. It's a familiar pattern for most of us on this forum. We've all learned the hard way that our preferred strategy for dealing with uncomfortable situations (avoiding them) doesn't work, has never worked, in the long term. In fact, avoidance usually tends to make bad situations worse.

Now for you, it sounds like some of  the consequences you are avoiding are not necessarily because of your own actions (financial irresponsibility), but at least partly through the actions of others (the economy is bad in your area). And I'm certain you didn't choose to get swine flu. So maybe, for you, if you can say, "I am dealing with a situation I did not cause," it may be less painfu, less of a feeling of failure, to deal with it. I don't know if that's true or not.

As far as tools to deal with the avoidance behavior and the panic, there are some good ones on here in the "tools" section:

I like the  tool "ask yourself why". (My own explanation for "why" I avoid and escape is above - avoiding painful knowledge of failure). 

I also like one not on here, which I call "accepting the worst outcome". For you, this would be accepting the worst possible outcome of your meeting with the bank - visualize it, and come up with a plan to deal with it, tell yourself that you can deal with it, ask for help (from friends, family, professionals,  Higher Power) dealing with it, whatever you might have to do. For some reason, this helps with panic reactions. My mother, who lived through the Nazi occupation of her native Austria, used to say, "Expect the worst, then be pleasantly surprised."

The "bookending" tool, where you break your task down into little manageable chunks, post it on here in the daily checkin forum, then check it off when you're done, also helps with the panic.  

Hope this helps. Good luck



Mamajama, Yes, I know


Yes, I know avoidance don´t work and I´m not trying to avoid the bank. On the contrary, I´ve been dropping in to see them and sending e-mails to them about what would be the best way to deal with these loans. 

I didn´t expect them to be ask me to put together a big dossier when I have fever and swine flu, but I´m feeling a bit better mentally. I will get them what they ask and hope for the best. I contacted the IRS and they told me the banks are more strickt because the economy is bad. I will also seek advice whenI feel better.

I like the advice on expecting the worst outcome. I´ve done that myself most of my adult life. I´m also working on the attitude of simplifying things and seeing them for what they are. That is very difficult for me and resulted in procrastination.

Thanks again, :)

Love, Lily


Information is power

Dear friends,

I was right not to trust this bank.

In fact, they want me to sign all kinds of papers I´m not familiar with and I heard some scary stories about people who did. In the end, the bank will control how much you pay every month so it´s no negotiation with the client. It´s an insult.

I will call my lawyer, the Client´s Association and my accountant to get a solution for this problem and then I will deal with the bank.

If the bank still insists, I will have my financial advicer to negociate on my behalf. He´s a marketing expert and used to work in banks for years. 

If they still won´t play, I will get my lawyer to deal with them.

Another bank might take over these loans and I might go over to them with everything. This is a sordid bank anyway, with a bad rep, and I´ve wanted to leave them long time ago.

I have still a long way to go and it was a slap in the face together with the swineflu, but I will do everythingin my power to get these things in order and eventually leave that bank.

I´m still scared, but at least I have a plan.

If you have some advice or a story to share, please do.