Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Procrastination, fear and indecision

Hey all, I stumbled on this and it seems like just the thing I need.

 

The biggest area of my life that procrastination effects is my interaction with other people. I end up genuinely afraid to interact with people because I'm afraid of being too rash or too forward.This is not just in social situations, but also relates to things like my job, where I'm afraid too ask about things like promotions or career planning.

I procrastinate about these things by telling myself the old cliche "it's not the right time to say/do/ask" or "I should wait a few days before calling" or "In the long run it'll be better if I wait", etc etc.

 

Recently I've started doing some volunteer work, and this has really opened my eyes to how short life really can be. Now I find myself wanting to try new things, meet new people and have more experiences with the time I have on this world... 

However I'm still talking myself out of things using typical procrastination filled phrases. I tell myself it wouldn't be 'normal' to sign up for a website that offers people a chance to have some new experiences and meet new people. I tell myself it'll be best if I just wait and pace myself.

When it comes to talking and meeting people, I tell myself there is some sort of social etiquette that I must follow. Instead of just talking to a person because I want to, I procrastinate and tell myself the time isn't right, but maybe it will be soon.

I really need to break these habits. Lately I've been feeling very anxious and as though I'm wasting my life away thinking that there's such thing as 'the right time'. 

 

Anyway, sorry to ramble on. I've been trying to work this out in my head for awhile now.

Welcome and some ideas

Congratutalions on identifying your biggest area of procrastination and the causes! That is a big step on its own.

Somethings from my experience, they might or not apply to you,or maybe will trigger more thoughts:

You say you are "afraid to interact with people because I'm afraid of being too rash or too forward." I would recoomend looking at concepts like co-dependency. I know it sounds like a big word, but basically you might be trying to own other's peoples emotions and you are protecting them. If you are too rash, it will be their responsibility to decide whether to get offended and what to do about it. Sometimes we give ourselves too much credit too. WE don't have as much power over other's emotions as we think we do.

I love people who is forward, transparent. I know they are sometimes a little rude. One can be direct but polite at the same time.
Consider also that if you don't try to interact and make mistakes, how in heaven will you improve (assuming you need to improve anything)
Making mistakes is just fine, it took me a lot to get to say that, but it oh so true!

I percieve you perhaps, much like me, have problems getting out of the comfort zone  (afraid too ask about things like promotions or career planning. ) This also comes with practice, start small, do something different here and there, try things on your own where you would have asked for help otherwise. Baby steps work for me.

This is very revealing, listen to your self-talk...

"However I'm still talking myself out of things using typical procrastination filled phrases. I tell myself it wouldn't be 'normal' to sign up for a website that offers people a chance to have some new experiences and meet new people. I tell myself it'll be best if I just wait and pace myself. "

If you imagine you are a friend, would you say the same things? what advice would you have for Dman?

Then you say "I really need to break these habits. Lately I've been feeling very anxious and as though I'm wasting my life away thinking that there's such thing as 'the right time'.  "

Excellent, your mind is calling for a change. It is hard and it requires courage but you are on your way.
Keep on posting!!!

Hey thanks for the warm

Hey thanks for the warm welcome everyone. This really is a cool place. Eveywhere I look I see people offering help and support for others.

 

Radiance you're right, I really do need to get out of my comfort zone. And I have to really do it. I can't sit here and talk about it over and over.

I'm really going to start to reframe a lot of the ways I think.

There are a lot of things I put off or don't do because I think doing them will be a mistake, be awkward, or make me look bad. Of course I have no basis for this thought. It's just an excuse not to do something.

So, I'm hoping from here on out to actually do and say some of these things that I've been putting off because I've been afraid. A big part of this will require me to be more outspoken and forward, which will be a bit of a change. But, I know deep down that I need to change the way I think, so I better get started.

Welcome DMan

I recently heard IBM use an acronym for this lol:  FUD - Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt.   

"You've got to trust your instinct, and let go of regret.  You've got to bet on yourself now, star, 'cause that's your best bet." - from All Mixed Up by 311

Welcome here

Welcome here DMan77

 

you've come to the right place. I think a lot of us are trying to overcome different combinations of fear, anxiety, self-criticism, etc etc.--a lot of the ingredients of p.-- Hope you'll find support here and keep coming back.