Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Wednesday 23 September 2009
Overcoming, one step, one stone, at a time.
Today I will act as if I believe I can. thanks all for being here.
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Recycler CI 10:20pm EST
Hi Pro Buddies!
This morning at the gym, I did my full cardio, and stretching. I did at least Most of my ab exercises; I was on automatic pilot, and lost track of how many reps I did one of the ab machines.
By the end of the day, my assignment list looked ok. In the morning, I got things ready for my boss. At lunchtime, I took my lunch to an activity. After lunch, I made progress down my project list. Was kind of driting at one point. Imperfection makes me nervous. It's hard to get a balance of everything. However having my list look good for tomorrow means a lot.
After work I drove to meet friends. Before they arrived, I had a moment Almost re-qualifying me for one of my other programs. However, I managed to not go over the edge. Realizing I still need to not push things too much, and that I need to continue to be nice to myself, for an extended period of time.
The activity tonight turned out to be a lot of fun. I am tired now, so am winding down before going to sleep.
Have a great night, everyone! :)
Recycler
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Ag replying to OCz re: How do you move to the next step?
Most of us have an easy time getting Step 1 - the circumstances that drove us here in the first place have usually convinced us. For me, Step 2 has two major parts: Coming to believe IN...and then coming to believe THAT. I don't do this as often as I should, so thanks for letting me refersh my memory of how it works.
For the athiest/agnostic, Step 2 work is focused on "Coming to believe IN" - largely a reflective process on the quality of being open-minded and experimental/experiential (see the Big Book's chapters "To The Agnostic" and the Appendix "A Spiritual Awakening").
Then, "Coming to believe THAT..." applies to all of us, regardless of our initial beliefs. Coming here as a believer, I had to let go of certain preconceived notions I had of my Higher Power, because they apparently weren't working for my recovery. This is harder than it sounds! I uncovered a fear that my craziness/procrastination was so ingrained that even the God of my understanding could not get through to fix me.
Surrendering that fear means I ask God as I understand Him to reveal Himself to me daily, and to not let me miss it when He shows up! Then I ask for sanity, and try to imagine what that would look like. Sometimes I write down this part of the Step. Hope that helps, OCz. Thanks for sharing the recovery road.
OCz CI day7
Good morning everyone!
I really feel checking in does help me... I just see very little results overall...
I'm taking step one now... I admit I am powerless over my compulsive prcrastination... my life has become unmanageable.
How do you move to the next step? I've never been in a 12 steps program and I missed last sunday meeting.
A minute to talk with God usually is my first task for the day: I missed this one this morning... and my mind is spinning so fast I cannot make a stop now... I just thanked him but I know it's not enough... It's kind of when you write someone about a delayed task only to tell this person "hey don't worry I'll work on it in a minute" even when you know you won't actually do it!
I arrived a bit late at work. And the minute I opened my email for daily check I got into a bunch of emails discussing how a task I've been procrastinating about has now become urgent... spent the next hour writing back apologies and explaining what I need to complete it... God, my head really aches! I have found out this ache comes from the guilt and sense of powerless I have over my will to keep focused on a single task until I finish... The worse is that I know of at least 4 or 5 pending tasks which are really about to explode in my face and a couple of which would meven mean loosing my job!
Breakfast at home@W. 15m email morning checkmy inbox holds now 234 items... I have noticed I cannot go below 200 items... those are all pending some kind of action from myself! (I'm sure not all of them really do, that's just how it makes me feel!)@W. Reply about NPerAcct migration. Got reply asking to schedule migration.Thnk God
Writing all this down helps a bit... I need to walk the extra mile today, I don't want to lose my job for not overcomming my procrastination!
Babarino ci 9.23.09 10:35
got back to office little while ago. had morning appointment. checked email and digest update.
MIT's before lunch
PS draft
Call M
Will make rest of list after lunch. I can spend my whole day trying to figure out what the heck should be on the list and then not get anything done!
2:16 p update.
finished 2 MIT's for am, one took a little longer then though, then had unexpected project. will take 15 min break then make list for rest of day.
2:39p
list for rest of day
Do research to add to draft
put in form for requests
CL daily overcoming
10:05am
still riding on teh wave of a great quiet time yesterday.
I want to let god fill the void inside me so that i dont need to compulsively surf and think and post in attempt to fill it myself.
DONE @10:15 - 10am ci
DONE @10:25 5 min late (that's ok) - 10:15 check urgent mail and meetings
DONE work phone call came in
DONE @12noon 1hr late. where did that time go? - 10:25 qt
DONE @12:07 - good - 12 daily morning routine
DONE @12:15 ontime - 12:10 work sched
DONE @2pm - 12:15 leave for appt
2pm? finish work schedule
2:10 vr2 work
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Agnus 10am
Already fighting major temptations to drift mindlessly, and procrastinating breakfast badly (a major contributor to my eating disorder). I did already do some prayer, talked to sponsor, made a plan for the day, made 2 program phone calls (no answer but one had agreat voicemail message that really blessed me), took a call from the boss, and ordered flowers for my parents 59th anniversary today (cool, huh?). But I am still sitting in the same spot on my sofa since 7:30 a.m., still not dressed, still feeling like I haven't started.
Bad news at J's dr yesterday is making me feel like it's impossible to move forward. I want to dig in my heels, as if putting the brakes on today, can somehow prevent the almost certain painful future. Yet, as J reminds me, we are ok today. Nothing terrible is happening today. In fact we might enjoy many more days with nothing bad happening - unless I screw up.
So this is what I need to keep in mind: Although fear of the painful future tells me to freeze, recovery says that moving forward today is my best hope for preventing a painful tomorrow.
So: I've got several things breathing down my neck: overdue business class homework, stats homework, a PC-PDA synch problem, AP software stuff, taxes, bills, and a work-related paper pile that's scary because I can't rememeber anything that's in it. I'm going to spend 30 minutes getting fed and dressed, then 30 minutes on my hairy Inbox, 30 minutes thinkging through the scary work pile, and 1 hour on my Sterling homework. Then I'll break for lunch and set new MITs.
(((agnus)))
I admire your attitude and ability to get going so much. My prayers are with you and J.
Agnus, massive hugs re the
Agnus, massive hugs re the bad doctor news. I'm really impressed by your attitude in this post.
Honestly I think most people expect their perfect posts to be the most inspiring, the ones where you've done everything and it's a really good day. But actually the ones that inspire me the most are where someone is struggling with a massive pile of suck and still somehow staying positive. When someone lists all the ways they've failed and then says 'and here's how I'm going to keep trying'.
((Agnus))
I have so been there. Sending healing thoughts your way.
hugggggs
asking for help to do the next right thing
thanks and Ag 12:40 checkup
Thanks, e. It really helps to know I'm not alone with all this stuff. I haven't made a lot of headway so far today but I have not stood still or frittered aimlessly:
I'm going to spend 30 minutes getting fed and dressed,This took an hourthen 30 minutes on my hairy Inbox,This also took an hour...trimmed to 47 emails... 30 minutes thinkging through the scary work pile, and 1 hour on my Sterling homework. Then I'll break for lunch and set new MITs.It's now lunchtime and I have not faced the scary pile nor done my Sterling homework. But the next right thig for this addict to do, is definitely to stop and eat a healthy lunch. Setting timer 45 minutes.
The most "on target" thing I've done today has been checking in here. And I'm grateful for that...But that wasn't even on my list! I'm going to Chat now in hopes of actually moving forward on something that has a deadine today...
Thanks Ag
You're not alone. I had all thse disasters this summer and I believe that if I would not have kept showing up I would never have gotten to my next baby step in PA. For me, it has to be a way of living. Showing up is big. My prayers are with you and J. If you want to call and talk, send me an e-mail. Vic
Thanks Chick for the morning message!!
Hi Pro Gang,
Last night I balanced my checkbook and almost got all my numbers in my chart. Interestingly enough, I'm not really caring about this accomplishment that I've been putting off for weeks. Also, if I hadn't balanced it, I would have bounced something, so it was none to soon.
These are the things I'm procrastinating about today:
-my piles at work
-giving Yoffee bath
-getting moving boxes
-starting to box stuff
-
sending in insurance stuff for Yoffee-figuring out my last p.t. $
-calling insurance co.
-figuring out my eob stuff to submit to employer
-sending letter to old employer moving 401K
Feels really good to get it out of my head...less beating up going on - PHEW - THANKS!!
May you be blessed with energy & peace today!!
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥
hope4meandu
Getting out of my head is very much what I find is the key to recovery on a daily basis. My recovery comes when I somehow am willing to get in here, notice my behavior, celebrate the steps in the right direction and acknowledge the places I have faultered without beating myself up for them. It always feels good to me to see the program working for others. Congratulations on steps in the right direction!
asking for help to do the next right thing
Journey 9:30
Yesterday was a whirlwind, I had major stuff going on with two projects, both tasks requiring being online with co-workers all day. No chance to procrastinate and I worked hard all day! Big lesson here, although I prefer working alone, other people keep me motivated. I will think about making more frequent commitments to coworkers and finding excuses to check in with them.
Off to a pretty good start today, working from home and I'm going to grab a quick shower before my 10 am meeting.
Jo
"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." - Elbert Hubbard
Jules CI
Hi gang!
Thanks for being here!
Today:
8:30 Finish dishes
8:50 Look at list from yesterday as a CI
9:00 Liz over to dye hair
1:00 Maybe go to Adams to list on ebay
If not, then I will just work on my house in 45 minute bursts, and then go to a movie tonight.
Much love,
J
kromer 9:15 CI
OK, my main task for today is to
try an experiment...I'm worried that I'll screw this up bigtime, but I just need to do my best and not be afraid to ask for help.I also need to
email DR,talk to GD about computational techniques(still need to email to follow up), email EA,go to Harambee.
I'll also clean the bathroom if I have time. (and start website revisions if I really have extra time)
OK, off to try first step of expt.
Update 10:15--did 1st step of expt, on to second
Update 12:40--I've made good progress on expt, also set up a time to talk to GD about computational techniques.Now I'm going to quickly get ready to talk to GD, then head to mtg 1-3, then do a little more work on my expt.
Update 3:45--expt. is done! I'm going to go to coffee w/ labmates in 15 min, then come back and talk to GD (I've done the prep for this). Right now, I need to update my lab notebook and do a little work on the email to EA.
kromer 10:55 CI
A pretty good day...did all my must-dos (though didn't get to lower priority stuff)
In general, I'm moving well through my weekly schedule...not sure if I'm more efficient than normal or planned more realistically, but it's giving me a nice feeling of acomplishment :)
Spirit 9/23
Today I will act as though I believe I can. Wow a great start alread feeling endorphins from that. I truely reminds me how little it takes to remove obstacles, thanks for the lead.
Morning Pnone CheckinDr Appt leave by 1
Complete list from 21st then begin list for 23rd
Spirit
Vic 9/23
Show up,gratitude list, written "plan" (done)I don't know why having a written plan that takes me one minute is so hard. Because I have to think? Becuase I will be looking at things to do? Because I have to overcome the "avoidance"?Because I will see all the things not done?Because it means change? I really don't know but I am sure every one here could understand. I decided I will do my 2 consistency items every day (before I post) until it is a consistent part of my life. I don't have to follow it exactly, I just have to have it. Baby steps, one day at a time. I know in OA, this is how I got food recovery. I was never able to call in my food to anyone because I could never follow it exactly and I needed to feel successful or I would just bindge for not being perfect, but having a plan was a turning point for me and for 25 years I have kept my weight off, after being a former yo yo. It is such a part of my life, I don't "write" a plan anymore. Maybe after 25 years, I will stop procrastinating...(anything is possible)!To admit one's limitations is humility, to insist on one's superior knowledge is vanity." Dr. Low
Thanks for being here, and providing hope and being safe to admit my most agonizing defects as a human being that are a mystery to me (us) and know we are not alone.
((Vic))
I relate lots to the perfectionism. I have character perfectionism. If I don't act perfectly always then I'm a horrible person. I can't believe you have 25 years of food recovery. I've never met anyone with such time. That is such an accomplishment.
Starting with 2 consistent things daily is a great plan and a great way to combat this illness. No way will it take 25 years...for me this recovery isn't as clear cut as food. I can't explain even why. I keep struggling to gain "perfection" or mastery at this (like I used to have when I was normal).
Maybe it's about looking at the small accomplishments and not negating them?
Take good care today, showing up partner!!
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥
Hi Hope
Exactly,
My food recovery is more a miracle and the grace of God than me. I call my food recovery "consistency". I consistently do not eat like I used to, one day at a time.But it was all baby steps there too.Even when I quit smoking, the way I had to do it was not smoke a cig. when I woke up, then not before 9 am, etc., etc. I could never go cold turkey,it took over a year but, but I haven't smoked for 30 years. For the first 5 years I just felt like a "smoker who was not smoking." After 5 years, I picked up and at the end of the month, I was back to smoking 2 packs a day- then I stopped because I was afraid I would never be able to stop again. I know this will not work for most people, but it seems to be the only way for me.
Every day I "plan" to be perfect, but at the end of the day I say, I haave a plan, I may not follow it exactly, but I have a plan.
The only way any of this works for me is because I have a spiritual program. (Far from perfect) and God gives me another chance every time I turn to him.
Thanks for keeping showing up. Take care, Vic
e's brisk and breezy Wednesday
Thanks, Chick, for the lovely thread starter!
Amazing what setting an alarm clock can do! So far: woke up on time, made breakfast for my son, did breakfast dishes, took 1st morning meds, cleared out dish drainer, made up bed, and organized paperwork.
Next: shower and dress, take dog out and hit the post office and pick up medications.
Later: tuition payment, call d for coffee, choose between returns and the consulate. feeling the dread creep in.... ugh. Note to self: it is just a feeling, it does not have to stop me. must find A's acceptance letter.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
asking for help to do the next right thing
e's 10 amm check back
breakfast got eaten, the dog was walked to the post office, two packages sent (victory!) an agenda that I had forgotten about was purchased, medication was picked up, and a 12 oz. bottle of root beer was purchased for a recipe for pulled pork. Then I came home and found myself locked out of my house for the 2nd time this week. And I took keys, just the wrong keys! Fixing that now: attaching S's key's to mine just so I don't mix them up again!
I called a friend who I have promised forever that we would get together. I also have a bunch of errands to do, so I am going to limit the time so I can see him and still make some progress. Most important is tuition. It is also hot and sticky, so I have to change clothing again. Just after putting all the summer stuff away...
bbl
asking for help to do the next right thing
e's 5 pm check back
I started the pork, folded most of the laundry, met my friend for coffee, filled the tires with air, and hit Trader Joes for some groceries, returning bottles. At which point I started to feel faint. I came home, put most of the groceries away and then collapsed on the couch. I fell asleep for 3 hours and finally am up.
My son is home, has been picking at the pork and now there is not enough for dinner. I am feeling pissy about having to come up with another supper having made one already. So, first, to get by the mood and start some action.
spending 5 minutes reclaiming the house.
asking for help to do the next right thing
potential Energy 7:39
Hello everyone,
Today:
work dentist violin practice bk. w/ z words w/z homework w/ z pract v w/ z game w/z gm fm game w/z rd. bk. w/ z
Home- laundry vac. mop
Figure out a way to break down the pile of reports overdue again. they are piling up and are going to take me about 10 full hrs. of writing-blaaaahhhh... I just have to stop cutting and pasting these reports on my to do list each day.
e. report a.f. report d.k. report b...report em. report e.c. report. s. k. report
((P.E.))
Sending prayers to surround you today!! One word, one paragraph, one page, one report at a time.
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥