Thursday September 03, 2009

I skipped my check-in yesterday and almost today, but now I am nipping that trend in the bud.  I do not want to slide away from PA or any of the other 12 Step programs I need to stay in touch with my Higher Power.  Yesterday was fairly productive with constant phone calls and conference calls from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., but I feel off-task after that due to being so late getting my lunch. Once that starts, I can't think straight (low blood sugar).

I am beginning to feel angry abut J taking narcotic painkillers since his surgery. I know he needs them. But he still has the mind of an addict, and has become cranky and rude. I have been focused on studying (stats class) and a little work, trying to stay out of his way.

Deciding now which is next: walk dog, make/eat dinner, go to gym, go to library where 12-Step mtng is at 7:30pm.

Hi Everyone,

I'm feeling less depressed today and it's because of all your sharing and support of me yesterday. ((thanks))

Showed up at work. Have to admit that I wasn't too patient with my dog this a.m. I was stressed about being late. Since I've been abstinent from a core addiction, rage, anger and impatience have returned big time. I don't know how to get through life without this addiction and be a patient, kind person. I hope I will find out soon. My dog deserves the best from me.

Feel a little less stuck, but can't right now do a list. Maybe I will check-in later.

May you have a productive and successful day all & every!!!

♥"Kindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Psalm 85♥

Here's the list for today:

• PA morning checkin
• morning routine
• LRW
• Appt w/MD
• Appt at JP
• CO class
• LL class
• Read CO
• Read LL
• Read IT
• draft report (HUGE scary task)
• Read CS news
• Thank you letter to HL
• Meditate
• Spanish
• BF&W
• TR
• Journal
• Remember to drink plenty of water
• Food
• Read FN
• make lunch for tomorrow
• email MM
• email SS

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Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.

~William James

A little late to lab today, but that's all right. I still have plenty of time to work.

I have a lot of work I could do today, so I need to prioritize. Let's see. I think that the important things to do are:

1)Get some small tasks off my plate:
a)Finish Greg's project (will try to do this tonight)
b)Finish pathways writeup
c)Finish notes from mtg
d)Student seminar emails(will do this tonight)

2)Work on expt proj
a)Draft CAC proposal HU
b)Draft CAC proposal BrdU
c)Draft CAC proposal tamoxifen (made good progress on this)
d)Check w/ MG about retinol prop
e)Ask EA about Stra8 mutant

3)Chores
a)clean kitchen (will do this tonight)
b)grocery shopping (will try to do this tonight)
c)Pay bills (will do this tonight)

This is probably enough to keep me busy for most of the day, but if I have extra time I can get lit. on oscillators and work on choosing +/- samples.

I'll start by finishing notes from mtg and finishing the pathways writeup. Then, I'll work on the draft CAC proposals. 

Update 10:40. Here's a step-by-step breakdown of what I need to do for CAC proposal:
1)Write up objectives for BrdU, HU, and tamoxifen experiments
2)Talk to MG about retinol, BrdU, HU experiments; ask her which forms I need to fill out; ask her how difficult it is to change doses
3)Research metabolites of BrdU and HU (and maybe triaziquone)
4)Choose dosage amts for HU, tamoxifen, BrdU (and triaziquone if I get time)
5)Write up blurb on toxicity to animals for HU (and maybe triaziquone as well)

Update 5:45: Wow! The CAC proposals turned out to be harder than I'd anticipated (lots of extra paperwork for working w/ hazardous materials).

I'm going to go to dinner soon, but before I do that I'd like to make some progress on tamoxifen proposal. 

Update 10: Made some progress on tamoxifen proposal, had a nice (and long) dinner w/ friends, now going to go to the store and then clean the kitchen and send emails re: seminar.

 Good morning!  I thought I had a 9 am meeting this morning which was going to be my "kedge" to get going, but it's actually tomorrow and that threw me off and here it is 10 am and I don't have my todo list yet.   I have been to the gym, read email and checked my calendar, but no "real work" yet.   Here I go.

Update 2:15 I've been busy with meetings and administrative stuff all morning, but now I need to do my big project for the day, and I don't wanna.   I will keep starting, ask for help if I need it, and don't worry about getting it perfect before I give it to the BIC. 

As Guy Kawasaki says "Don't worry, be crappy!"  (a cuter version of the sh*tty first draft).

Update 5:45 I've gotten a LOT done on the big project.   All it took was actually getting started!  I need to leave the office in a few minutes but I wanted to check in because I'm feeling successful this afternoon, yay!

Jo

"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."  - Kurt Vonnegut 

Wanted everyone to remember the morning phone check in at 8:30 am to 8:45 am est.  This morning was especially wonderful not only is it my birthday but the topic was seeing- beyond the obstacles was a great one for.

The check in reminded me my biggest obstacle to action in my most dominant thought.  Whether I see all the head wind or feel the tailwind is my choice.

Further it reminded me tha all I need to create the life of my dreams is the see how and from this program remember to break everything down into small steps, staying focused on the vision I desire, one step at a time take the next right action to manifest it into reality.  It was a wonderful reminder that nothing has to be difficult without also being fun.  One step at a time today I will check in with a modest birthday list of things that I need supernatural help in and know it is my day and I can have anything I want, that puts the joy back into the process.

Spirit 

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