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12:25 am (ie tue)
family at the beach today. GREAT time!
have weekly status work 2 do. feeling resistance.
but first, qt, which is my daily spiritual meal. fuel.
UPDATE 2am: got distracted online. good intentions, bad execution. what else is new.
repenting. accepting forgiveness. restarting...
FAILURE. bad, but not fatal. tomorrow (today as i write this) is a new day.
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
family at the beach today.
Hi Pro Buddies!
This morning at the gym I did my full cardio, stretching, and ab exercises.
This morning I got ready for staff meeting. Had discussion at staff meeting, but that's ok. Before lunch I did my projects from staff meeting. Brought lunch from home; ate lunch, then went in quiet room for meditation, and also did some journaling for the meeting of my other 12-step program tonight.
After lunch, I went down the page on my assignment list, checking on all projects. Some projects I could do, others I will try again tomorrow. Next I will do a final update of my list so I will be ready in the morning.
After work I have time to go by the condo & change clothes before my meeting tonight. After the meeting I hope to get together with my sponsor for some discussion of the day, but I think it will be a better discussion than I was originally thinking it would be! I will probably get in too late to update my CI.
Have a great night, everyone!
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Today was good :) I'm happy because I finished all my work tasks on time so I don't need to work from home.
x 8am meds x2
x 4pm med
x hmed 1
x 5:30pm - doc's appointment (owe doc 20 bucks and get receipt for insurance)
x hmed 2
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action - Walter Anderson
I really need to come back here and post my list more often.
Right now I´m avoiding work on my thesis that I got back from the professor last Wednesday. It´s just a couple more changes and I´m done, but somehow I would really like to not do them at all.
Well, I have already made two changes and I WILL SEND IT BACK TO THE PROF TODAY. I don´t care if it´s not perfect and late and whatever, I´ll just do it.
Thank you for being here with me.
OK in the midst of my mental battles below i have a deadline...
How do I KNOW if have a deadline?
I am suddenly OBSESSED with the desire to open the broom vac thats been in a box for like 3 weeks.... and the idea of using it suddenly feels like more fun than a marathon of House on hulu..
i will not vacuum, i will meet me deadline... i will not vacuum, i will meet my deadline
laughing at myself here i feel a bit less hopeless and pathetic~
Sometimes it helps me to go backward. Like if I need to be somewhere at a certain time, or have something done at a certain time, I go backwards in order to know how to function so I could get there on time. Sometimes a "backward" plan is less stressful, if that makes any sense. Take care, Vic
Hey, I really like that affirmation!
"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to take the stairs . . . one step at a time." - Joe Girard
i did sweep, do dishes, laundry and clean the counters.... guess i needed a longer affirmation...
Good news is I also got the materials out to finish this job and am starting on it finally -I won't meet my self-imposed deadline to mail today, new i was overpromising, but I will tomorrow and it will be ok. I realize I'm afraid it won't be good enough so I don't start - done is better than perfect is great for helping me once i'm started, but no motivation at all before I start...
I like the thinking backwards idea Vic, kind of like other trick i use that I'm doing it for someone besides myself - I have something to mail so I am getting all the things out that I want to go in and going backwards by looking at what isn't done from that point and doing each thing one at a time.
I'm exhausted and i have barely started.
Greetings to all my PA-pals and Happy Monday (wait, is that an oxymoron?). I took the weekend off - actually about 3/4 of the weekend off - and it felt good! Late yesterday I started on a financial mgmt backlog and made major progress. Today, with God's help, I know these are MITs of the first order:
When those are done I will check with HP again for next steps, constantly reminding myself that I am no longer running the show, "humbly saying to ourselves many times each day, 'Thy will be done...'
Have a joyfully procr-abstinent day! :-)
If I had actually reconciled my bank statements when they came in each month, would the cumulative time be any longer than it's taking me now to reconcile a whole year? hmmm.
My now-defunct corporate bank statments are all reconciled - DONE/YAY! I still need to do January to June for the accountant who will help me formally closeout the corp, and I also still need to get square on the year-end tax forms that got messed up (not procras - for once! - just sent the wrong forms, but don't want to let it become a procrast).
J reminded me we need to visit the tag office to get the trailer registered and the car tag renewed, so that's going to be next after lunch.
I'm worried a bit about the spreadsheet which I've been procrastinating for weeks now. God, please help me keep my word to work on that after the tag office errand. Thank you. Amen.
Seems as if sitting at table and doing meditation after I am dressed and before leaving for work is most important part of day, and seems to set the tone for the whole day. Did that this morning. Will make list then will use journaling to stay on task.
Just got back from weekend trip, a bit jet-lagged but I need to focus.
First step is to make a schedule for the week, then come back and check in with my to-do list. Should be back in about 20 min.
Update 10:50--going rather slowly, but schedule is done.
For today MITs are:
*Work on G's project (want to be on track to finish this tomorrow) (working on this now)
*Look at GSEA results on all pathways (have made progress on this, waiting for some code to run)
*Start notch lit search
Other tasks are:
*Write up fgf results
*Work on animal facility access
*clean kitchen, take out trash
Scheduled: Dance class 8-10
OK, I'm feeling pretty stuck right now, but I can make progress (even if it's slow. I'm going to start my journaling program, then log on to cluster and look at GSEA result from 1 pathway.
Going very slowly today, ugh...tired, obsessing about dating and surfing rather than working, keep running into all sorts of boring technical bugs.
OK, self, you have made some progress today despite these issues, you can make more.
Specifically, right now I can:
*Get Weeder running for G's project
*Run it on masked and unmasked fg seqs
*Type up deacon notes
Will push myself to keep working until 6:30, then I can get dinner.
I must have been exhausted last night. I hit the pillow at just after 10 pm and didn't wake at all until 5:30. Mrs. GS said I stirred to kiss her goodnight when she came to bed but never woke.
And I'm feeling sleepy now. Have had no coffee yet today.
Just did a quick phone interview left over from last week. That's done :-)
Getting coffee, then surveying my day.
Want what you have. Be who you are. Do what you can. ~Forrest Church
The Hero's Code:
Show Up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
Good morning! I'm early to to work, and I've been to the gym, read email and checked calendar. I'm headed for the coffeepot, then quiet time and make my todo list for the day. I have two important meetings today and they are at the same time! I'll attend one and send my apologies to the other.
UPDATE 9:30 Todo list & quiet time done. I really want more coffee, although I'm trying to cut down . . . I've had 1.5 cups, I think I'll have another half cup. I've gradually cut down (again) from 3-4 cups to 2, and I want to get down to 1. But hey it's Monday.
So, I'm going for coffee, straighten my desk, put on some makeup, and do 1/2 hour of reading about Project M with my 1/2 cup of coffee.
Have a wonderful Monday everyone!
UPDATE 2:30 Just got out of a meeting and kinda drifting off into doing nothing. Checking in here to get going again. I am going to work on Project TF for one hour.
UPDATE 3:30 I did my hour on Project TF, now review tasks for Project O.
EVERY DAY DESERVES A CHANCE
That was the topic adult sun school. Really good. I got on the PA meeting yesterday, but I am not sure if that was it. Anyway, I was struck with the 1st. sentence-1. Disappointment is a way of life. We constantly disappoint others and ourselves. It really hit home- hard. In fact, subconsciuosly, I was setting up for it.
Well I am going to give today a chance. We said "gratitude" is the firstborn child of Grace. The returning leper caught the attention of Christ, so did the absense of the others. God notices a grateful heart. I see it in others, and when I remember, it is true for me too.
Today: Got up early, did some paters, practise gratitude, take car for inspection, ck in later.
11:15 am (took car over, cleaned it before, went to post office, 1 load wash)
I loved the just for today and keep reading it, but could not comit to anything for even one day. So I asked myself, what can I do for 1 whole day? I have gotten myself into axiety attack mode and feeling guilty that I can't get myself calmed down enough to do the Just for today..So the only thing I can focus on all day is step 2. Come to believe that a power greater than myslef can restore me to sanity, and add my sponsor's comment: and he wants to.
Break it down: 1. call sponsor 2.change sheets 3. e-mail resort.
2:30 pm Did some more wash, called Kohl's - got late fee waived, I pd the next morning, I got the days mixed up- again, she said I could do it on line. They called about car, need brakes, called our mechanic, waiting, got convverter box coupon, minimal sorting,here for the kids- this summer I am not entertaining them like I did before-that is a whole other issue, they are 16 1/2 and 14- I need to be here or they get in trouble and fight , we get police viisits, but older one does not want to get a job, so I feel like I am the one being punished- it is so boring-I need to go somewhere tommorrow, so don't want to leave today. husband is home at 3:30 then I could leave.) need to e-mail resort- v,acuumn walk dinner for husband, walk. dinner for husband ck in later.focus on my Higher Power wanting to help me.
i,m having mental warfare today - feeling like I can either step over into breakthrough or just as easily step into a breakdown - i usually keep all this stress and anxiety in - trying to maintain instead of deal with it which is what creates even more stress - not knowing how to process feelings in a balanced way... I have the feeling today of being more messed up than I really even knew - but I also know God knows and has an answer - i needed reminding of these steps. I have spent a few hours in my own head and working up some major feelings of losing my mind, half the thoughts probably aren't even right - the other half won't be fixed by my thinking of them - so surrender is always the answer - God can restore me to sanity - AND HE WANTS TO - that is my focus.
It is such a priviledge and freedom to be able to share our "blocks" and be understood. I sent you an e-mail. I relate so much. Yes, he does want to. Take care, Vic
When my mind starts playing these tricks on me, it's usually best if I shelve the heavy Stepwork and just practice the recovery slogans: Keep it simple. Easy does it.
My mind ≠ my friend!
I have given myself a headache! A recurring pattern - ok just practicing slogans - done is better than perfect - focus on the next right step - forget the rest -It is God who makes my way perfect and arms me with strength. Focus - stop feeling bad about myself which is only making it worse.... ok, stop thinking of so many slogans - keep it simple!! My mind is NOT my friend!
I like this! Thanks for sharing, vic.
today I feel so tired. Heaven help me...
-Bathroom & kitchen cleaning (done)
-go to supermarket with an exact list what to buy
-translate one paper
-try again to reach mum or write an e- mail.
When I look into the future, it is so bright it burns my eyes ~ Oprah Windfrey
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