Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Help/Suggestions Appreciated for a New Comer to this site.
Hi There,
I am new to this site and so glad I found it. I realized I needed help when procrastination and being late (a lot) started to impact personal relationships and work. There are a couple of places that I need some practical advice from seasoned people out there - what things have you learned to do that help you get things done day to day and be on time.
Work
I work from home - which is fine when I am super busy, but when I am not billable or just average busy I tend to slack off or find myself leaving things to the 11th hour until I feel that pressure to get the task/project done. Most of the time the pressure is enough to give me that adrenaline (sp?) boost and I get it done. But of late I have gotten into tricky situations where I underestimated how hard the task was and ended up risking my job. Prior to that I have always 'gotten away with it' or 'squeaked by' somehow - primarily because I was very good at what I do. Now I'm in a role that is more challenging but I have the same mentality that "I'm a pro at this I can get it done with my eyes closed" - not the case at all - this job is wayyyyy more difficult, much more senior (to the point that I feel lost in it sometimes because there is so much to learn) I can't get away with it anymore. Something has to change - and it's going to start NOW. I am putting my first foot forward in the right direction.
I am allowed to take 2-4 hours off in the day time - I just need to get my work done. My manager is in a different country than I and I go weeks without speaking to anyone (when I'm not on an active project).....I guess for a 'people' person it gets lonely at times and is harder to learn when there is no one to 'bounce things off of'.
Right now I am working on training - self training, so it is really hard in the sense that I have to motivate myself to read manuals, take on-line tutorials, etc. and this is not billable so there is no 'reward' per se or recognition for doing this. I also worry that when I'm not billable that the company may make cut-backs (negative energy I don't want to focus on that).
The other factor is that my 'home' computer - the one I use for non-work is in the same 'home office' that I use for work....net,net it's very easy to go on to the net when I'm working. Although, I really don't use it much - maybe just as I'm doing now or to check my personal e:mail a couple of times througout the day or turn my iTurnes on while I'm working.
Personal / Business Lateness
I have now earned the reputation of being the 'late one'. :-(::sad:: It makes me want to cry - it makes me really sad deep down inside as this is the first time I have ever admitted this to the point of writing it down. Wow, I didn't realize how upset that made me. My family and friends refer to me as the late one so that really hurts. It's true though.
Why am I late for things - I really don't know. Sometimes I don't know what to wear, underestimate how long it really takes to get ready - I'm constantly scurrying around looking for books/notepads (for work meetings), wrapping a hostess gift, doing my hair, changing clothes, tidying up the house, etc. I am always late - period. I don't know why - it's frustrating.
The odd occassion that I have been on time, there was no stress and when I arrived early in my head I thought "that was a waste, I could have used that 15 minutes doing xyz". There was also no pressure so it wasn't exciting to have to rush then get the pleasure that I actually might make it on time. I know it sounds screwed up. I'm really not but obviously I need some help in this department.
Okay, I'm going to make a to-do list and get to work.
I am open to receiving as much feedback/direction/things you have learned from everyone on here!!!!!
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Welcome Just Do it!
Wow, I could have written that post myself! You will find a lot of support here. I really identify with this comment: "The odd occassion that I have been on time, there was no stress and when I arrived early in my head I thought "that was a waste, I could have used that 15 minutes doing xyz".
Jo
"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country." - Kurt Vonnegut
Hi JDI
As for putting things off, I think it's because you've grown to depend on the nearness of the deadline as a motivator. You've got to realize that you need another motivator, because that's a dangerous one.
One idea that I had in facing these circumatances was that you should vary the task you're doing more often if your deadlines are far away. Just work an hour on any given project. I think it will help you focus in a way that will make up for the natural lack of focus resulting from a far-away deadline.
As for being late. I don't know about you, but for me this is because I always want to be efficient. The ifficient person in me lives in fear that I could arrive early and just "waste" 10 minutes sitting around. I tell that person in me to shut up. 10 minutes waiting is not wasted. I could do other things in those ten minutes and much of the time they will be occupied by stupid stuff I forgot to do before.
welcome JDI
i've been recovering from addictive, compulsive procrastination for over a year.
i'm not done yet. I still struggle daily.
so that's my first advice: there's no cure (that i've found, that we've found). It's a day to day struggle of "i'm going to do the right thing today, this hour, right now." This idea is a very AA idea.
Here's the other thing that helps me the most: restarting. i fail, and i fail often. Now i look at my failure, try to learn from it, and try again. Sometimes i do this all day long. sometimes weeks are filled with this.
I find it takes an enormous amount of effort, energy and courage to face my urge to slack off, and to restart when i do. For me, my Hope in the Higher Power keeps me going.
Also over the last 1+ year there have been a couple times where the above advice has not worked. That i have not been able to look forward to any hope. But i have recovered from those times and thru no effort of my own, since my strength was gone. Help just came to me from somewhere someone else. I have learned first hand thru these experiences the wisdom of the saints of old who instructed, "wait on the lord."
I do not consider myself a well-recovered procrastinator. So i guess this is just the advice of a fellow struggler.
I would also encourage you to read the daily thread, because the people who are recovering the best are posting in there.
You can find it at Daily Check-ins or http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/forum/6
Good luck!
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
welcome Just_Do_It
I also struggle with the things you have mentioned but have enjoyed good progress since making a commitment to participate here regularly. My goal is to check in daily on the day's Forum, then to chat through the day as needed to keep accountable. I allocate some time every morning, and blocks of time on the weekend, to study the 12 Steps and the PA Tools, and do some writing and sharing along those lines.
On the timing issue: I kept waiting to be "struck punctual" and finally realized this was not going to happen to me (Steps 1&2)! I need to actually work at this (ugh). I decided that I do really want to become a person who is trustworthy about time - or at least, I no longer want to be known as a person who is NOT trustworthy (Step 3).
Yesterday I did "a searching and fearless moral inventory" of my attitudes and actions about time (Step 4), and placed a call to another 12 Step friend to share about it (Step 5).
On a practical note, I am learning to back-time important appointments and deadlines. Basically I write down what time I need to be someplace, then write down what time I need to leave, then what time I need to pack the car, then what time I need to shut down the 'puter, etc. It's a pain but it does work. Good luck and keep coming back, and thanks for sharing.
welcome
Welcome, JDI, this is a great place for support. I struggle with many of the same things you do, and I find the support here extremely helpful. It is so good to know others deal with these same issues.
Regarding lateness, the only thing that has helped me a little - other than truly trying to get ready earlier than I think I need to since I always underestimate that - is that I set my watch and clocks all a little fast, but each a bit different, so unless I check my cell phone, I don;t know the exact time and it has helped a bit to make me more timely.
rec
hello
I am too new to offer any advice but I am inspired by the level of honesty that you have id'd a problem.
Progress not prefection
Do It now
Welcome Do it now!!
Please keep coming back, we need you too!!
♥"Kindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Psalm 85♥
Thanks for your replies -
Thanks for your replies - yes, setting clocks faster does help. It's weird as some things take wayyyy less time than I think and others take far more time. :rolleyes:
As for being honest - I have to be. The growth and change will only happen once I'm completely honest. Yes, I did feel as if I was baring my soul a bit.
I look forward to getting practical advice from those that were once newcomers.
Cheeers,
JDI :-)
Welcome JDI!!
Like my fellows, I can relate to your share and struggles. Especially with being known as the "late one." I'm known as the one who calls in sick all the time. It is painful for me too. I'm a few months old here, and I see progress. Today is day 6 of me showing up to work!! Please keep coming back and sharing!!
Wishing you much success here and in your life!!
♥"Kindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Psalm 85♥