Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Life issue procratination

20 June, 2009 - 3:27pm - vic

As I have been working on emotional blocks associated with my procratination, I found some hidden drive and energy and became more productive.

Now I feel like I opened Pandora's Box, The surface blocks were the tip of the ice berg with marriage issues, career issues, possible relocation issues, possible going back to school issues, children issues. I am out of my denial phase and have actually taken action on some of these.

I like the above message- especially:

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't
feel insecure around you.

and

. As
we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates
others.

 

I have been procrastinating on these things in my life, and now am, with the help of my HP moving forward. I find it draining, I haven't put this much effort in my emotional, spiritual recovery in years. But I want recovery I want sanity , happines, purpose and I want to do God's will, not my will (ie what I think is God's will).

Thank you for being here. 

‹ top ten signs you are procrastinating... I am a newcomer and a chronic and compulsive procrastinator... ›

life issues and living small (this is long!)

Agnus - 21 Jun 2009 - 12:05pm

This is real food for thought, thanks. As an addict I can go right into excess on anything, even good things like the recovery principle of humility. An old-timer in my first AA group used to say, "Good is oft-times enemy of the best." 

The Steps and Tools help us find balance, but few of us can stay there for long.  Even with long-term recovery, I find balance is elusive. The closest I get is by swinging to one side (I'm gifted and need to shine!), and then over-correcting the other way (I'm for shi* and need to die!). The extremes tell me that it's time for more Step work.  

Really working the Steps and Tools (as opposed to just agreeing with them) brings my swings nearer the center. I never fully "get it." In fact if I ever believe I have actually achieved the proper level of humility, I'm usually BS-ing myself big time! :-)

This is very timely for me as I still grieve the loss of some aspects of my career and ministry that seemed to be shining.  For years HP used my gifts very publicly in my community; many people were helped, I got really really close to HP, and I really had to work on staying humble.  

Now, however, my "ministry" is limited to loving and helping my parents, spouse and adult siblings, and intercessory prayer (praying for others, the world etc). I no longer worship as I would choose, instead participating in the family religion which is frankly a bit boring to me and which has, so far, no ministry ops for me.

I struggle to feel close to God. I rarely shine publicly and when I do, it's far from home with people who don't care who I am, and then it's over. The rest of the time I work alone in a spare bedroom, between crises with my parents' and spouse's health. 

I have to keep in mind that my HP's thinking is different from mine. In my HP's eyes, I might shine most brightly when I just keep coming back, accepting the hand I've been dealt just for today, and trying to live this program to the best of my ability.  Maybe more people will be helpd by that, than by all the public ministry and shiny career successes I thought I was supposed to do the rest of my life.

Thanks for giving me a chance to think this through. Sorry it's so long.

Wow.

mamajama - 21 Jun 2009 - 7:47am

Vic, your post hits me where I live. That is, I live in the middle of piles of paper, half-finished projects, and a shaming, ugly mess. Yet, I was given more talents and abilities than many. I think I've been "living small" for awhile. Thanks for the food for thought.