I'm dissatisfied with this totally imperfect subject line
First I'm having a lot of trouble even writing this introduction.
I've been lurking on the sight for a few days now and have been
planning on introducing myself since I discovered it. I just took
forever composing the subject and editing as I go to get to this
point, of course! I'm actually finally not procrastinating because I want to do
this right now.
So I've read a bunch of posts on this and other
topics now, the articles etc. Nearly everything is ringing true,
particularly the descriptions I've read about the intersection between
perfectionism and procrastination. I mean I already knew there was a
connection -- I just couldn't have articulated as well. For example I
hadn't made the connection between my perfection and
"demand-resistance." I also think that 'blobs of undoability' is
really apt -- I've got four or five blobs at the moment.
have AD(h)D. This is a big reason, I think, that I am very slow at finishing tasks and generally hate planning. There is also this thing that people with adhd do called 'hyper-focus'ing which is very similar to 'time-binging.' I totally 'time binge' which is a reason that I don't
want to get started on things. Whenever I'm timebingeing though I really want to
keep going because I want to take advantage of a rare opportunity to
finish tasks that I want to do at that moment.
At this point in
my life I'm in a unique position where I've got a certain amount of
pressure to get my life on track but I also have a few people who are
aware of what's going on and who are supportive. And I've been going
to counseling again, once a week, for a little over a month. So I'm extremely lucky to be in a situation where I can continue to mess
up for a little while longer and not have anything change drastically
like losing my job or a relationship.
On the downside I'm experiencing one of the worst most debilitating bouts of procrastination I've ever had. The procrastination extends to almost all areas of my life now; from personal hygeine, to maintaining friendships, to doing stuff around the house and to my job. I feel like I really need to be managing this better soon or I will lose relationships and/or my job.
For me the procrastination is accompanied by anxiety/depression to the point that I've had panic attacks and rare thoughts of suicide. My tendency right now is to isolate myself from friends, family and anyone else by staying in my room most of the time. It is also accompanied by a longstanding addiction to weed. When I'm not actively using my avoidance behavior is mostly restricted to reading either on the web or off as the case may be. Or, you know, doing that stuff and *very* slowly getting something done.
Glad to meet everyone!