I'm new to the site, and like some of you, I am a chronic procrastinator...in fact, even right now I'm procrastinating and not doing an assignment that is a week late...:(
I guess my earliest memories/awareness of being a procrastinator go back to junior high school...when I would turn in my homework late, and I realized I was slower than everybody else at doing things. Now, I am a mother of two small children and recently went back to graduate school last fall at one of the top universities in the country--but even though I am supposedly a "grown up," the problem is much, much worse.
It became apparent to me yesterday when starting a 1500 word essay at 3am...it was due at 9am, and even though I had known about the paper for an entire week, I waited until the last 6 hours to even START it...The paper was for a course on human behavior, and the only way I was able to motivate myself to get started was to research the topic of ...yes, you guessed it...procrastination. In the course of the research, I thought about the last week...I had failed to turn in a paper on time, and I had to withdraw from a class because I was so behind on the homework, had not done the reading and felt completely lost as the final exam approached...I have never dropped a course before, and I felt so ashamed. I was in tears all week, wondering "why do I keep doing this to myself??? what is wrong with me???...other people have constraints on their life--jobs, kids, illnesses, etc.--but they manage to get things done...why can't I???"
I did finish the essay on procrastination on time (ironically), but in the course of the research I stumbled upon this site...I realize I have a serious problem with serious consequences. And I think I need help and support if I'm going to stop being a disappointment to myself and others. I would like to believe it's possible...but sometimes I fear I'm doomed to this way of being. I don't want to be, but my periodic efforts to change or "get on top of things" have never succeeded.
So that's it. That's my story. That's why I'm here.
I hope to learn from all of you.
Ann Arbor, MI