Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
hello- kind of long
Hi, while I'm looking at the rest of this site I thought I'd add my introduction.
Recently I was surfing the net (procrastinating) and I found a support group for people who live in squalor (don't clean their houses for really long periods of time until they are living in complete filth). This isn't my problem, though I don't clean my house as often as I should. But I got fascinated with the squalor site because they supported one another by anonymously taking pics and setting goals and then checking back in to show progress they made. They couldn't share their problems with their friends due to embarassment, but they were able to help each other online. Anyway, I read it and thought how much that could be helpful if there were a similar website for procrastinators. Then I found this site, and it seems I've found it!
I guess I didn't introduce myself. I have a major problem with procrastination and have had it all my life. I won't describe it to you as you seem to understand what I mean. I tend towards anxiety and depression, and I procrastinate to escape that. This of course creates more anxiety and depression. Anyway, I usually try to keep myself to a very strict schedule which works very well when there are no disruptions. Life is disruptive naturally, and so when something/someone comes along and throws me off my schedule, I sometimes lose entire days to procrastination. I don't even know where the time goes, but my life suffers for it. Then I have to pick myself back up and try to get back on track. If I'm hit with several disruptions one after another then things can get really bad. It seems like my only choices are to be a complete failure in everything or become a strict hermit- eliminating all people from my life so that I can stick to my schedule. I can't find a balance. It's very hard. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, but this is the first time I've found a site like this so hopefully I'll learn something about how you have all managed to cope. Hopefully also I can help you too, or at least empathize.
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it's been six weeks or so...
Hi guys. I was on here a few weeks back, then had trouble with my internet connection, then lots of procrastination, etc. I fell into a slump again, got out of it, fell in again… I actually signed up with my real email address because I figured that if I was totally anonymous and untraceable then I might not be very honest. That’s true. But it’s also true that since I can be traced, I can’t talk too much about my work. lol So in a general sense, I don’t want to say anything more than I’m currently in one of those motivated “starting today, I will…” moods, and that has sent me back here to try again.
I was thinking about this:
“Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.”
I was thinking about this quote above. I’ve been procrastinating a long time. First I need to let go ofthe past and stop feeling so much regret. If I’m not careful, in ten years I will be feeling the same way about right now that I feel right now about the past couple of years- regret and depression because of wasted opportunity.
What I realized today is that I’ve been focusing on the wrong part of the chain of events that leads to my character and destiny as a procrastinator. I keep trying to focus on actions and habits. I make lists, I try to work diligently, but my actions and habits are poor. I need to go back from action to purpose and thoughts. My thoughts are not disciplined. My thoughts are focused on fantasy and whim, anxiety for the future, deception of loved ones (who think I’m working when I’m procrastinating), concerns that I’m a failure. My thoughts are also mostly focused on regrets and depression and how to escape those feelings through procrastination. Instead, I need to focus my thoughts on the present moment and on my purpose. I think this is really what you all mean when you say to picture yourself doing the task you want to do. For some reason, I always thought that meant to picture myself in the future having already accomplished what I want. But this is fantasy. I need to picture myself working, finishing the task. The other reason I procrastinate is that I’m not reallysure how to go about getting started on something I need to do. If I picture myself doing it, perhaps it will be easier. I need to live in the moment.
The frustrating thing is that I have these AHA! moments of motivation every few weeks. They fuel me for a few days, and think I fall into a slump again. Why would today be any different than any other? What can I do to start each day out with that moment of inspiration? Any ideas? The daily affirmations here help. I need some sort of meditation exercise to do each morning to set my focus.
Oh and one more thing. Does anyone have any tricks for getting up when the alarm goes off?
(Sorry this is so long. I read the info about PayPal. I want to pay because I think it will force me to use this site more often. When I had free gym access, I never went. Now that I have to pay, I go. But also, right now my bank account is sort of in a mess because I haven’t canceled my old cards and activated my new ones. But I think I’ll get this all done in a few days.)
Daily inspiration
I to have often wondered what I could do each morning to set me on the right track. Hadn't gone beyond that level of thinking until I read your post.
I'm wondering if its not a procrastinating perfectionists illusion - that the day has to start perfect in order for it to be of any value. We could apply 'progress not perfection' to make the most of a day even if we think it starts poorly.
But I see how that doesn't get one going at the start of the day. I guess sign-posts, or a ritual as you suggested could be helpful. My schedule starts at 7am (breakfast) and I can usually do that unless I feel that I need more time to contemplate xy before I formerly start my day, in which case the schedule blows out. I need to keep reminding myself that keeping/getting back to schedule is important and that I should schedule in xy for later if its important. Its not always easy.
As for getting up I can't really help - I've never had that problem and now I have kids.
Thanks Deej. Your morning
Thanks Deej. Your morning greeting was exactly along these lines. It was perfect. Yes I think for me that is the key to the daily check in (at least for the three times I've done them). Wake up, shower, coffee, check in and schedule.
My biggest source of
My biggest source of procrastination used to be the TV. I got rid of it, and now I use the Internet. Unfortunately, I can’t get rid of the internet. I need it for work. So it helps to keep this site up all the time. When I start to procrastinate, I’m trying to do it here because the things I read- your comments, the articles, my goals- keep me focused on the fact that I am procrastinating. I read your comments and your own struggles and inspirations, and it’s very helpful. I’m sorry I’m not participating more and responding, but I’m too near a relapse to let myself get carried away online. Once I start thinking of comments and talking to you all personally, I’m afraid this will become a time-waster instead of a source of focus and inspiration. On the other hand, I know that a community requires active members. Once I feel like I’m a little more in control, I will try to participate more with the rest of you. When I slip and fall behind, the anxiety overwhelms me and I spend full days doing nothing, sometimes weeks. It’s really destructive to my life. I’m sure I have more problems than just chronic procrastination. There must be more to it, but I’ve found that the only way to stay active and happy is to stick to a schedule. I enjoy my work. I enjoy feeling productive. I don’t know why I let myself fall. I do it to myself. So I’m trying not to now. What you have said and the things I've read here have all been very helpful.
EDITED: I don't know why, but when I cut and paste from Word, many of my words run together. I'll try to fix it.
Welcome rnh
Welcome and hope that you find the knowledge and support you need here.
:-)
Welcome rnh!
There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much. - May Sarton
re: welcome
awesome, you're in India.
There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much. - May Sarton
Welcome here r.n.h - I
Welcome here r.n.h - I hope you'll keep coming back, and will find some of the support and encouragement that I have here.
I think you'll find that very many of us struggle with similar issues and I know I've learnt a lot from hearing about other people. And also, again, only personal experience, the thing here with the 12 steps is different from every other book on p. that I'd tried, read, then not really changed after reading...I hope you can find the hope that I have. (For me--still a struggle minute by minute, but now I can see that progress is possible).
thanks chickadee
Probably these 12 steps are somewhere obvious on this site, but I can't find them! Could you tell me where to look?
That article about motivation following action already really helped me. Of course that is true! I just never thought about it that way before. Any tips on this site for transitions? I just got up and did the dishes, but after that task was done I felt overwhelmed again and here I am back online. Oh gosh I sound so silly, but it's true.
Welcome and Another Note on the 12 step program
My welcome to the site also. I'm still grappling with serious procrastination issues myself. There are many aspects to dealing with the problem, but having the support of peers who are dealing with the same issues is definitely worthwhile.
A note on the 12 step program. That's an optional aspect of this site (actually, everything on the site is optional) but several of the members consider it very beneficial.
I don't know how universal Alcoholics Anonymous is, but the 12 step program we (and most "... Anonymous" support groups) use is modeled after the very successful AA approach. The program implicitly assumes some sort of belief in a Higher Power (HP) but doesn't advocate a specific religion or belief system. Even nonreligious people have been able to find meaning in the steps based on their own personal view of the universe.
What's important is finding the answers you need to what works for you!
Best wishes for a successful venture. We are all here to share and support you.
Hi again...for the 12
Hi again...for the 12 steps, try the box in the upper left corner and click on meeting materials.
For me the steps and the idea that p. is the addiction-compulsive avoidance-have been helpful. And then I can ask HP: help me do the next right thing. Rather than load on guilt and don'ts.
Transitions are hard for me to, and I think many of us. I don't have any quick solution, or solution at all.
Sometimes i manage them, sometimes I go off track. I am trying at the moment, not to well yet, to have clearer plans for the day so that i work less impulsively and reactively. And i am trying to keep sight of the goal and the I WANT rather than SHOULD of each task. But this hasn't translated into a solution, it's just my intuition for myself right now.