Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Saturday, March 28th 2009

I am looking for my HP for guidance and help right now...Ready to surrender.

one thing

Please align my objectives with your will, Higher Power.

CI Do It now


Tom: finish taxes 1 hour

study 2 hrs

Call Doug, Mom 1 hour

Talk to AR about JS  30 mins

Post tomorrow 10 mins

spend 20 mins planning

look at finances 30 mins. 

write a poem 20 mins.

exercise 30 mins 

and  ****get a notebook for pt job hunt****

CI Do IT Now

did MM

studied 30 mins so far

Did am pp (in place o poem?)

Also for list: clean car (or office, books if raining)  Tentative Plan:

PM 2:00  taxes, finances,Doug, Mom, AR total time start job search NB 2.5 hours

4:30 clean 1 hour 

5:30  more studying ?

Reminders:  prep school for 2 wks (inc. games, talk to LA about BL and going to DD or outisde )call Chabad 

CI Dotnow

So far ahead on school planning that i forgot that my hw was posted on Fri

Taxes taking longer than planned. Really done - but getting a lsast couple decutions that I forgot about and gfound

No cleaning yet

did not make the calls on Sun

Progress not perfectnio 

powerless over others

Right now my mind is cluttered and going in aimless circles. Especially with resentment.

Today I took my younger son to soccer, went to store made dinner, socks in dryer got movies, printed out stuff, stayed consistent.

I am having trouble with my older son. I ask him to do things and he just doesn't do them, ie kitty litter, fold socks, clean up front yard, etc.

He "claims" he is lifting downstairs, but he doesn't lift for 12 hrs.(he is down there watching tv) every weekend and school nite. When I came home at about 2:30, he came upstairs and said he was going to take a shower, and then go out and help his dad. By the time he went out, his dad came in and said he was done with his chore and did not need help.

Then he says "I was going to help............" He does this all the time.

Right now I feel so resentful. That sense of entitlement and no gratitude really makes me want to react (I used in the past and it made things worse) So I sit here stewing and procratinating.  I feel guilty for feeling this way. He just turned 16 and is a good kid. He doesn't get in trouble and does help his dad. He does begrudgingly sometimes help me (his younger brother helps more).I guess he is being a teenager and I am taking it personally.

The resentlment keeps me stuck. I did a 4th step about it and what came out in my part was "HE OWES ME" . How stupid is that? Then my part is "expectations", my co-dependency says after all I do for you.......... Then there is the jealousy (he is not a procratinator about things in his life).

I now see how resentment can put me in a procratingtion bindge.

I don't know if any of that makes sense, it really is off the wall, but at least I can share it in a safe place and let it go.

I do have a part in it, he does not "owe" me and pretty soon he will be an adult and gone why am I getting stuck in my sickness instead of enjoying whatever time I have left with him? I guess because I don't know how. I did not have that in my family, it was always the "snake pit" of anger, resentment, addicition, judging.

I feel like I should know better, but I am human and at least I did not pick up a physical addiction that I ingest and have to go through withdrawls.  That is a miracle and if God can help me with that I know it is not his will for me to have these feelings about my son and he will help.

I feel like I made my 1st step by reaching out and writing and letting go.

Now I want to call a peson in program and do service and get out of myself.

Then I want to clean up my room and go for a walk.

Thanks for beinghere.

Thy will be done.

My son jsut walked in and asked me to come and watch a movie. Thank god I let go of my feelings- he would have known - . 





and beautiful to see you work through those emotions vic! I don't have any insight on teens, other than having been a pretty messed up one! But I didn't go around asking my mom to watch movies with me - to busy trying to be grown and avoid them - so I would say that is great evidence of a relationship! And that is a great testimony to what you have done right as a parent! My parents meant well, but they never talked with me really, or knew who I was, or let me know who they were - maybe they didnt really know, but in the end I never learned who I was either (years later figuring it all out!) A real relationship is everything!

I personally think those of us that are struggling and recovering are AWARE and living life differently than many who are "healthy" and not aware - and that will serve you and your son well. His seeing you overcoming and maybe sharing your process when appropriate may be just the inspiration he needs to be aware in his own life (not to say that he has any issues other than being a teen!)

Thanks for the inspiration :-) 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8

journey 6 pm haha this is my horoscope for today

There may be work to do around the home and you aren't eager to start.
But you also know that procrastination will delay everything else you
want to do today, too. Even if you must overcome your own inertia, do
your household chores instead of putting them off until later and then
run your errands instead of just talking about them. Action isn't easy
to initiate now, but you will feel more positive once you get going.


There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much.  - May Sarton


Well at least we know there is some proof of what they say that horoscopes can be written for anyone because they apply to everyone! LOL - must be a multiple sign horoscope to include all of us :-)

Falcon CI Saturday eve.

Hi all,

Had a great day at an all-day singing event.  My brain is a little buzzy -- need to give it time to process the day and shift gears, I guess.

Things to do next:

  • Meditate
  • Shower
  • Tint hair
  • Project T

That, plus eating dinner & getting my stuff ready for tomorrow is all I really need to do tonight.  Should be a nice relaxing evening, if I get off the computer, quit putzing around, and get on with it!


Thus far I made myself

Thus far I made myself breakfast, did two loads of laundry, brushed my teeth and took out the trash.  Things that I still want to do:

*work on my essay for thirty minutes

*run or swim for thirty minutes


My overall plan is the following:

*Finish the schoolwork I have left to do

*get a leave of absence from school

*search for work

Fudo-shin thinking of you

Fudo-shin thinking of you and wishing you strength and courage

journey 1:45 love the thread starter

Good afternoon!   I've been goofing off for the last 45 minutes but time to get back to work.   I went to yoga this morning (and got a very nice comment from my instructor about my progress yay!), visited Dad, bought groceries.  The groceries are sitting on the kitchen counter now and have been since dh brought them in half an hour ago!

Going now to clean out fridge and put away groceries.   headed to chatbox now.


There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much.  - May Sarton

Agnus 1:25pm

I have put off even starting this day! My best days start with Step 11 and I have been putting that off. I've changed my mind several times about when to take my sabbath: some 24 hour period between now and Monday morning, but when? I don't have a religious obligation, just a desire to do this b/c it's good for me, and my HPs first recorded words about time management. I even put off posting my check-in here.

So...I need to pray: first some prayer that was recommended to me yesterday that I did not do, then my Step 11 and my spiritual studies.  I can tell this is the kind of mood that could lead to nothing but Step11 today...which could be a good thing IF this is my sabbath time, but I'm feeling very indecisive - arrgh! Tempted to be down on myself! Instead think: What would a loving parent do with a child in this mood today? (thanks bGG...)...going to microburst a brief meditation on that, then go to chat to talk through the rest.

Hope-Faith CI 1:00

Setting task for the day with hope to accomplish alot.

  1. Laundry
    1. Wash X X X
    2. Fold
    3. Put Away
  2. Lunch
  3. Shine my Sink
  4. Set up control J
    1. BBR done
  5. Organize 1 kitchen drawer (kids)
  6. Pick up plates 3:15
  7. Update min on moms phone
  8. Ebay
  9. Put boxes in un-FROG room

Multi task - washing clothes, fixing lunch and Shining Sink and kids organize kitchen drawer wtih palctic containers.

Lunch is in oven kids are organizing kitchen drawer with plastic containers. Throwing away any container that does not have a lid. CI I again in about 15.

CI 2:05 Lunch done dishwasher loaded antoher load in wash. Next continue to shine sink, put away clothes that are folded and put up some boxes in un-frog.

CI 3:30 Another load of wash on, kitchen drawer organized. Next shine 2nd sink, continue to put away clothes and put boxes in un-frog room.

Good Luck to me! And everyone else here Have a great day

  • Go by K and Bay
  • Money order




chick CI & confession/intentions

I need to do the next right thing minute by minute. One of the next right things is organizing a calendar and new list system. I have been putting this off. for days. Even telling myself that I need a different calendar or new notebook (I don't...)

Fear of the finiteness of time? The reason doesn't matter. I know that doing it is the only way to move forwards towards accomplishing dreams and big goals. 

babarino 10:00 check in

Today I get to do a lot of things that I like! (Hint-its not the litter box.)

Laundry(in progress)
Litter box(done)
Movie w bf

Project 1 writing
Gather other project one materials
Arrange cat care

I am so happy to be back I avoided a couple tasks and found my life becoming unmanageable!it is amazing to me how well this works if I work it and how much it doesn't if I don't.

byGodsGrace todays CI

Thank u for the starter fudo_shin!  It speaks to where I am so perfectly. (I relate to your posts and pray for you and all of us struggling and surrendering here as I pray for myself)

Word and prayer for the day: Nehemiah 8:10 message, Proverbs 17:22 amplified 

“Don't feel bad. The joy of God is your strength!”

“A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing…” 

I choose joy today to worry or have anxiety will only make me weak and unable to continue and change nothing. Help me to face today, to have faith and not be moved by how the circumstances appear. I cannot do anything but my best for the next step, please help me to continue and to trust you to work things out for my favor.

 Soundtrack of my day: tba 

My to do list: 

Read Bible/Pray

job2 email

job2 order summary complete

job1 &2 supply cost list continued

cw bcard

kr bcard

af with dd

call a


Clear email/inbox for day 

Isabo ci 800am

How come I feel guilt that my hubby is emptying the dishwasher instead of glad that he is?  I don't feel that much better than yesterday. I had foolish dreams, and woke tense and bitchy.  Grrr.   I can either sit here, glued to this laptop and watching the kids movie, or get up and get doing.  I really should get doing.  At least make the tea that I set the water on for. And take my meds.  And my stomach is growling.  And my hair is sticking up.  And, and and.  

Nothing is worth more than this day  - Goethe

I would like to stop

I would like to stop procrastinating.  This comment is from a vote that I saw posted about which suggested activity would make procrastination abate itself for me.  I think that building up my self-confidence would help in the long run, but it is because I procrastinate that i have such low confidence.  If I did not and got some feedback I may feel confident enough to proceed.  I think that strengthening my willpower is very limited, because my willpower usually tells me to go the gym or go watch a movie, not read a book.  It takes discipline to do my work.  Sheer discipline.  I feel deprived.  And I have deprived myself.  This whole addiction is about self-deprivation and having a purpose for doing so.  it is my problem. I  have isolated myself.  I have insulted people by procrastinating, indirectly. Removing distractions helps big time for me.  it helps me focus on what is most at issue, instead of attending to non urgent stuff.  Letting go of control only sometimes works, since it's not really my problem to need control most of the time.  My roommate regularly watches TV out here, and when I'm in full control of the living room that's not enough.  When I don't have control and she watches tv, it is genuinely distracting, b/c of my LD.  Ovecoming my fear of success?  Hmm, I have rarely ever had success lately, so I'm not sure if it would help me.  Frankly I don't think I've overcome it.  when I've had  a taste of it, I felt the feeling of the onerous responsibilities heaped upon me.  So I ran away.  So maybe not so much right now....I need to overcome this in the LONG RUN.  Counselling or therapy?  Not so much.  Making myself start a task?  Yes that hlps alot, esp. if I set a finite time.


I'm afraid of

I'm afraid of acting.


I'm afraid of spending too long on a task.


I'm afraid of failing.


I'm afraid to communicate with people in authority (hell, I'm afraid to communicate with potential lovers), because I am afraid of rejection.   I procrastinate on communicating with both until it's too late.  I hate that I do this.  I hate that I deserve the wrath my mother has bent upon me, yet for all her giving me a hard time, when I was younger, I am still this way.  So maybe my procrastinatoin had to be approached in a kinder more gentler way.  Maybe it would have been easier if I had a mother who did not say, "I think that anyone who procrastinates is just spoiled.  It's only a very spoiled mentality who would."  I felt shame about procrastinating, b/c I felt shame about myself to begin with.  I felt shame about being a procrastinator, thereby compounding the shame.  Shame has been overlayed in my life to the point that I am afraid to act.


I'm afraid of wanting to do more than I feel comfortable doing.  I see how my procrastination is a workaholicism in disguise.

 G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.   If anyone has any support, encouragement or prayers, please pray for me.  *THIS* addiction is my all-time core addiction.  I am in a state of tragedy because of it.  Please pray for me.   I really, really need a sponsor or a co-sponsor in this program.  I feel like I'm about to hit a wall in what I am capable of running away from and then I'm going to have to start picking up the pieces, but I do not know which piece to pick up first.  I said the same thing in my journal as a 16 year old and I hated myself then, so that's not a good sign.

wrote this b4

Thank u for the starter fudo_shin!  It speaks to where I am so perfectly. (I relate to your posts and pray for you and all of us struggling and surrendering here as I pray for myself)

Funny how i wrote this at the top of my CI today before i had time to read your 2nd post and request - HP knows what we need and what we need to do every step before we do. Prayer works and you are in mine, to be encouraged, your times are in his hands (altho i know at times it is hard to kno and feel that).


 “If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Take the yoke I give you. Put it on your shoulders and learn from me. I am gentle and humble, and you will find rest.” Matthew 11:28-29

praying for fudo_shin

Yes this is exactly how I feel when the procras addiction has me in its complex grip. My spouse watches TV constantly and the noise/distraction is very troublesome. I have some measures that help: cotton in my ears, politely asking him to minimize the TV volume as much as possible, and I am shopping for a simple music system for my meditation area in the family room where I am sitting right now.  In my home office I have a small stereo system that drowns out his TV in the next room. 

Staying connected here helps remind me that the LONG TERM solution evolves one moment at a time - what we call a microburst. Any beginning, however small, becomes something to celebrate.  Yesterday, all I could do for awhile was open a folder on my desktop. Then I could open a document. Then I could read it. Etc. But "review and edit draft proposal due Monday"?  No way, man. 

Today I will pray the Serenity Prayer with plural pronouns - "God grant us..." - and think of you, fudo_shin, as well as all of us here. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you so much for your

Thank you so much for your prayers and sharing your experience.

thought on fear

This quote helps me when I am afraid:

"Fear knocked at the door, faith answered and lo' there was no one there."

I take it to mean that a little bit of faith can remedy my fears.I try to remember it when I am afraid.

fudo_shin, I will be

fudo_shin, I will be thinking about you.  It truly is horrible how procrastination shuts us down, turns us against ourselves.  Keep talking, fudi_shin.  Check in a few times a day, let us know what little things you have achieved, like brushing your teeth and laughing at a joke.  These are the small steps that you can feel good about.  I will be thinking about you!

Nothing is worth more than this day  - Goethe

Thanks for the note about

Thanks for the note about giving myself credit for the small stuff.  I really appreciate your prayer for me.

sending a prayer for fudo shin

There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much.  - May Sarton

Thank you.

Thank you.